"Until the End of the World"
Eighteen Months Ago
"All right, next question."
"Imagine you just won a contest and you have your choice of two prizes."
"Is one of them you?"
"No… would you take this seriously, please?"
"I'm sorry, I'm a bit distracted by the beautiful naked girl in bed with me."
"You've got another girl under the sheets right now? How mean!"
"I'm talking about you, babe."
"Please. I'm not beautiful."
"Of course you are. The most beautiful girl in the world."
"I don't believe you."
"It's the truth. What do I need to do to make you believe that?"
"Tell me again…"
"… a million times."
"You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're…"
"Not all at once, you dork! Slower… once a day, maybe."
"That's… about two thousand, seven hundred years."
"Then you'll just have to make sure that we live that long."
"… in conclusion, the operation was carried out successfully, with minimal casualties. SCP-784 performed outstandingly. The artifact was captured without further incident, contained, and remanded to Special Containment Procedures unit." Lieutenant Takahashi closed her notebook with a crisp, military snap.
"Thank you. You are dismissed." Director Valentine said, distractedly. She ran a finger along her armchair. There was a slightly dreamy expression on her face, a nearly post-orgasmic one. Takahashi bit her lower lip. She really didn't want to know.
"There is one more thing," the lieutenant continued, hesitantly. "Skip-784 asked me a question." More like rumbled it, actually, in its terrifying buzzing voice, that sounded like a chorus of bees. "He wants to know when you will uphold your end of the bargain."
"Mmmm? Which bargain?" Valentine asked.
"Agent Maddox. You promised…"
"Oh yes. Tell him that the request was put through, and is pending Overseer review," Valentine said.
"… is it, Director?"
Her voice was catching just a bit. She seemed a bit breathless. Takahashi was starting to get really annoyed by that. "Was the request put through? IS it pending Overseer review?" she repeated.
"If it'll help ease your mind, then, as far as you know, yes it was." Valentine said. The older woman bit her lower lip, and Takahashi… yes, she could definitely hear the slightest hint of a buzzing sound. "Now if you'll excuse me… you are dismissed, Lieutenant."
The door closed behind her with a solid click. Takahashi took a deep breath. Behind her, in the room, she could hear the buzzing noise growing louder, and the definite, high-pitched sounds of feminine amorous moans.
"Jesus," she whispered, shaking her head.
Post-Incident Interview, ██-██-████
Interviewer: Were you aware of Doctor Valentine's condition at the time?
Clef: Her technophilia? Yes. Her collection of… mechanical aids… was rather famous around the facility.
Interviewer: And you didn't think that it was inappropriate to place someone like that in charge of a mechanically based SCP?
Clef: Doctor Valentine's extracurricular activities were not relevant to her ability to do research upon her test subject. no.
Interviewer: I wonder how much you really believe that.
Clef: Given subsequent events, it's clear that my beliefs were… incorrect.
Night time at Site 19 was usually no different than any other time of day. The Oubliette was built rather like a Vegas Casino: every effort made to make sure that no one could see outside. Instead of day and night, an endless, constant, monotonous day, broken only by the changing of shifts from one set of guards to the next.
Agent Jared Thomas had just begun his graveyard shift, had just settled into his comfortable station chair with a copy of the new John Grisham novel and a pack of bubble gum, when the door opened. He stood up, blinking in surprise. It wasn't exactly unusual to see Director Valentine here, but at two in the morning?
"Good evening mister… Thomas…" Valentine said, after a quick glance at the young man's nametag. "How is Agent Andrews today?"
"SCP-784 is quiet, as usual, Director," Agent Thomas said. He gestured through the quartz glass at the scene below: SCP-784 lay curled up in its concrete container, looking rather like a thousand-armed steel octopus crossed with a million wriggling silicon earthworms, slowly writhing. "I think he's sleeping, to be honest. Although it's hard to tell."
"I see… sleeping." Valentine leaned over, and Thomas gulped nervously. The thin, white cloth of the middle-aged woman's labcoat was just sheer enough for the younger man to see what she wasn't wearing underneath. "When was the last time you got a good night's sleep, Agent Thomas?"
"I slept from 0900 to 1600 today," Thomas said, smiling.
"I said a good NIGHT's sleep, Agent Thomas."
"Oh? I've worked graveyard shift for the past five months. I'll be switching back in…"
"I see. Go and get some sleep, Agent Thomas. Sleeping in the day and staying up nights is bad for your circadian rhythm. I'll finish up your watch."
"Actually, ma'am, I've been setting up this new rhythm for months. I'm not sleepy at all."
"Agent Thomas, do you WANT to be reassigned to cleaning up SCP-053's diapers?"
"Not as such, no…"
"Then I recommend you follow orders from a superior officer. Now, Agent Thomas."
"Yes, ma'am." The younger agent sullenly picked up his book, coffee, and jacket, and left the control chamber. Glancing over his shoulder, he could see Director Valentine settle into the station chair and look up at the monitors, the very image of the professional SCP Foundation guard.
He also noticed that she was fingering the top button of her labcoat, a bit tentatively.
Agent Thomas smiled. "Gotcha," he whispered to himself. On his way out, he took the small electronic device from his coat pocket and attached it to the underside of the glowing green EXIT sign with a wad of Bubblicious. Then he took his cell phone out of his pocket and called up Lieutenant Takahashi.
"Hey, Taki," Thomas said. "Remember how you told me to let you know if the Iron Bitch does something strange? Get your team together. I think she's about to."
Audio Log 784-T-K-421
Chang: Jesus, Lieutenant, don't you ever sleep? It's like two in the morning.
Takahashi: Don't worry, Chang, you're gonna like this. Here, check this out.
Chang: Okay, I'll bite. What you got for us?
Takahashi: Watch this.
Vicks: Holy CHRIST! Is that…
Chang: [wolf whistle] Dayum! I usually gotta pay by the hour to watch stuff like this… wait, I think she's almost… OH!
[loud cheering, punctuated by a cry of, "Yeah, Baby!"]
Takahashi: Jared, are you recording this?
Thomas: Recording, shit, I could sell this to any studio and make…
Takahashi: Thomas, cut the shit, are you recording this?
Thomas: Yeah, I'm recording all right. We've got her.
Takahashi: Run that up to the Smiling Man. I'm going to head down there and arrest this bitch for gross dereliction of duty.
Chang: Gross is right, did you see how she…
Takahashi: Chang, Vicks, get your minds out of the gutter and grab your gear.
Vicks: Sure thing, boss. Yowee, for an old hag, she's actually not bad.
Thomas: Hang on a minute, Lieutenant, something's happening… oh hell. Taki? You'd better get down there NOW.
Takahashi: What is it?
Thomas: The target just left the control facility. She's headed inside.
Takahashi: fuck fuck fuck fuck move! … wait, did anyone hear that?
[END OF LOG]