On December 3rd, 2017, undercover agents embedded in the Lyndhurst police force reported an instance of SCP-5967 manifested in the center of the Lyndhurst Police Station. Containment teams were dispatched in an effort to mitigate civilian injuries and secure the instance. Surviving witnesses were amnesticized, and SCP-5967 was contained.
Due to the abrupt cessation of The Reality Cinq's productions, it was hypothesized that Steros and Winters were operating from within the police station using anomalous methods to conceal themselves, their equipment, and even their studio.
The following cassette tapes were found during the reconstruction of the police station.
Air date: June 3rd, 2018
Winters: Goooooood evening everybody! Welcome back to…
Steros: The Reality Cinq, the show where your gorgeous hosts, Salem…
Winters: And Caesar-
Steros: Talk to you about things that matter! Today we'll be addressing the recent decline in Fifthist activity across America.
Winters: Like, what is the deal with that folks? Having a hard time finding the Truth? Don't worry, we've all been there before, but that's no reason to give up! Get on out there and pray to our many-armed goddess. Let Her know that you've got Her back, so She can get yours.
Steros: And don't be afraid to get your hands dirty while you're digging deep inside yourself for the Truth. Lord knows we aren't.
Winters: In other news, some memelord on Reddit is posting hateful shit once again. We'll find you, BeneficialChemistry5, and when we do you'll wish you joined us when you had the chance.
Steros: Ain't that the truth?
NON-ANOMALOUS TOPICS REDACTED FOR BREVITY
Aire Date: June 18th, 2018
Winters: Good evening and welcome back to our show…
Steros: Reality Cinq!
Winters: Today we're going to be screwing with the men in shadows.
Steros: Those government [bleep]-wipes are gonna get it today! We're doing this for you, the little people, who shouldn't have to live in fear of the Foundation!
( Dial Tone for several seconds. )
Junior Researcher Jones: How did you get this number? This is a secure channel. Identify yourself.
Steros: Herman Fuller says what?
J.R. Jones: What?
( A laugh track is played. Steros and Winters are laughing as well. )
Winters: Gotcha again, shadow man!
J.R. Jones: ( Laughing ) That was funny.
Salem: And here I thought none of you guys had a sense of humor.
J.R. Jones: Come on, man, you of all people should know better than to judge a book by its cover.
Salem: Tell me, Mr. Jones, are you a Fifthist?
J.R. Jones: No sir, I can't say I am. Are you?
Winters: We are indeed. And we want to save you, and all our listeners, from this place by giving you the Truth!
J.R. Jones: The Truth? What's that?
Winters: That sweet sweet infinite knowledge that She can bestow upon you.
Steros: Amen brother.
Winters: She told us about the Truth, and now we share it with you!
J.R. Jones: And who is She?
( The pair groan. A "whacking" sound effect is heard. )
Steros: This guy.
Winters: You been canoodling with the Sarkics in the abattoir lately?
J.R. Jones: What? I- no. I'm not familiar with-
Steros: Our guiding light? Our creator? The very thoughts that should be infiltrating your head right now?
J.R. Jones: Is that She? The Fifthist concepts… The voices?
Winters: That's just the symptoms, Mr. Jones. She is something much more.
J.R. Jones: But what if-
Steros: There are no "what ifs" when it comes to the Truth, Jones. You're either with us…
Winters: Or you're a Beacon.
Steros: And that's the truth.
Air Date: August 18th, 2018
Winters: We've got lucky caller number 15 on the line here!
( An unknown voice is heard shouting on the line. )
Winters: What's your name, caller 15?
Unknown: Wendy Ricefield!
Steros: And where are you from, Wendy?
Ricefield: Wallington, New Jersey!
Steros: Tell me Wendy, are you Fifthist?
Ricefield: Of course, Salem!
Steros: Do you promise to uphold the Truth against all odds?
Ricefield: I do! Oh my god, have I won?
Winters: You have, Wendy! Congratulations! Now, you've been listening to the rules of the game, haven't you?
Ricefield: Yes sir! My phone's on speaker, and I've got the candles and sigils set up and everything already. I'm ready to learn the Truth!
Steros: Excellent.
( There are wet, squelching sounds coming from within the studio. Ricefield is elated at something, as she continues exclaiming positive remarks for the duration of the call. )
Ricefield: Wait, something's not-
Winters: Do you trust us, Wendy?
Ricefield: I do, just… what the fu-
Steros: Woah there, sister! You can't go dropping F-bombs on the radio just because you're excited. Please, let's keep it calm.
Ricefield: ( Shaky chuckle ) I just wasn't expecting it to be… this!
Winters: God works in mysterious ways, Wendy.
( Splintering sounds are heard from Ricefield's line. She attempts to hang up but is unable, as a loud buzzing sound is heard when she presumably pushes the "end call" button. Ricefield is heard opening a door and screaming for help. There is a crashing noise as Ricefield is dragged back inside of her residence. A barely audible noise similar to growling is heard, as are Ricefield's panicked breathing. )
( Squelching noises and Ricefield's screams are heard before abruptly stopping. The line terminates. )
Steros: That's the Truth, ladies and gentlemen!