About Tree Fiddy
rating: +23+x

You know, most folks who think about the ocean usually only think about the surface level. You know, the bright blue areas with all the fish and plant life. Finding Nemo and all that sort of crap. It's mysterious, sure, but there's never any real sense of threat to it. You go down and you know you're coming back up; that sort of thing.

But they never think about where I'm going: straight to the bottom. Sure, I'm in a small airtight capsule, the best the Foundation's got on hand at the moment, but that doesn't really do much to distract from the fact that I'm currently 2500 meters down and still going. Let me tell you, when you're hours away from the nearest shore, going down to the bottom of the ocean to retrive a highly dangerous artifact all by yourself, even the best and brightest of the Foundation telling you it'll all be OK isn't nearly enough.

I swear, I'm going to kill whoever did this. If 173 had just stayed in its damn cell we wouldn't have to be going through this. But nope, it broke out, killed a bunch of people, vanished off the radar, and was last seen by one of our contacts being dumped out of a boat into the middle of the ocean. We would have taken the bastards doing the dumping into custody had they not jumped in right after it and floated back up as corpses twenty minutes later. Either way, we've got ourselves an SCP stuck at the bottom of the ocean, and I have to go get it.

They already went down a few times looking for it. Would have been nice if they'd bothered to think of bringing anything strong enough to dig it out of the muck it's lodged in up to the chest. But no, they only found where the damned thing is, and I'm supposed to go down and drag it up from the briny deep so we can lock it up until next Tuesday, when I'm pretty damned certain we'll have to go through the whole process again. I swear, if it weren't for the health benefits the job has, I'd quit Monday.

Christ, it's dark outside. I'm pretty damned certain I saw something moving out there, but I don't want to turn on the floodlights and draw its attention. All I know is that there's water all around me, pretty much no light, and a fucking long way down if anything decides to ram into me. Wonder what the pressure is out there? Probably somewhere in the vicinity of too damn high. Pretty much the opposite of the temp…

Why do the readings on the pannel indicate that I'm being pulled sharply westward? There aren't any major channels nearby, so it can't be that. It'd take something massive to pull with that much force, like a huge-ass drain pipe, or… a… Let's turn the sub around so I can get a better view. Please don't let it be what I think it is, oh please God, I'll be a good man from now on if it's not what I think it is, please oh please… oh, you dickwads.

There's a huge wall of flesh right in front of me, filling up my entire field of view. Looks like an enormous monster fish of some kind, mostly because of the miles tall gills that are slowly sucking me in.

Yeah! Yeah, thanks for not telling me that we were sending me down right the fuck next to the gills of the single largest creature on the planet. What, did you think that it wouldn't be breathing right now? You've got this thing's breathing pattern down pat, and you think it's a good idea to schedule my dive right when it's taking in water? Yeah, thanks a whole fucking bunch, assholes!

Calm down, calm the fuck down. You wanna get out of this alive, just maneuver the sub in the right direction. Which way is the right direction? Hell if I know, but it probably involves something along the lines of moving away from the giant neck slits of death. Angle yourself down, turn the propellers to full throttle, and work on trying to get in-between two gills. The pull shouldn't be that strong in the middle. C'mon, c'mon, that's it, take it nice and easy, while still moving at top speed as if your life depended upon it, which it kinda does. That's it… that's it…

Oh, thank God, I think I made it. Still too damned close to the giant fish beast, but I think I can keep going down without needing to worry about getting sucked inside Monstro here. Why am I even on the Deep Sea Specialization Force again? Answer, because I majored in Marine Science and thought it would be cool to live my dream job and get paid well for it.

Digging statues out of the muck and nearly getting killed by Biblical monsters. Yep. Job of a fucking lifetime.

***

Well, that was a boring hour. Think I'm finally below that thing. Wish I could confirm it, but I don't think the floodlights will light up more than three meters in front of my face at this point. And if that thing's so close to me, I'd say I really shouldn't worry about anything except how my last prayers should go.

According to the maps, I should nearly be at the bottom. Might wanna give the floodlights a go, just to check. Turning them on now and… hey, what do you know, I've got five meters of coverage, that's nice. Looks like I have made it to the bottom, so let's start checking around me to see how far away I am from that damned statue. They said I went down within ten meters of it, but I don't have any way of saying how far those gills pulled me away.

Half an hour of searching and still nothing. Are they really sure it's trapped in the muck? How do they know it didn't wrestle itself out at some point and just go wandering the ocean… black, by the looks of things outside. I swear, if he's not there…

Ah-ha! There you are, you old rocky bastard! Jammed chest-high in the muck, just like they said you would be! Christ, you look terrible. Looks like something tried to take a couple of bites out of you. Hell, you've even got a few teeth sticking out of you - big ones at that. And what are those things you've got tied all around you? Looks like little plastic bags of ground-up meat. Weird. Don't know who'd be stupid enough to use you as a fishing line.

Doesn't matter, though. I'm here, you're here, let's get back to the surface before something can go wrong. Yeah, I see you struggling every time I blink. Not gonna do you any good. That gunk's thick as hell, and this mechanical arm's even stronger. You're not going anywhere any time soon. Let's get heading upwards.

Oh, look, radio contact's back on. Hey, yeah, I've got it, don't worry. He's sealed up nice and tight in the claw. Yeah, things went smoothly. Oh, except for one little detail. Yeah, as it turns out, you fuckers dropped me right next to 169's gills while they were taking in water and nearly got me turned into a victim of whatever sort of filtering system that fucker's got. Yes, yes you fucking did. I expect at least a double pay for this job when I get back up to the… Hold on, 173's struggling again. Give it up, buddy, you're not getting…

Oh shit, I think he just got out. I've still got him by the leg, but he's in reaching distance of the screen on the sub. The guy on the radio's telling me that the glass is completely shatterproof, but I don't believe him, seeing as 173 is punching and cracking the glass at a fairly alarming rate. It's kinda hard to keep your eyes open when the entire sub is rattling around and you're scared out of your fucking mind. What the hell do you mean it's lucky that the sub's designed to float back up to the surface and increase the gripping strength if the hull is breached? I'm still inside the fucking sub, and I'm still gonna fucking die.

Good God, how much longer can I keep this up? We're ascending at a good pace, and we should be at the top in… I don't know, I'm too terrified right now to come up with the numbers. I want to say half an hour, but I really don't like that. Five minutes. We'll be up in five minutes. I can go for five minutes without blinking, right?

For some reason, I can't help but notice that weird writing on the statue's forehead. I haven't ever cared to get close enough to memorize the details of its face, but I know for certain it was never there before. Kinda weird, really. What's it say? "Property of the S… P…" can't make out the rest.

Hold on one fucking moment. What did that captured memo we used to pass around say? Something about capturing anomalous objects and using them to punch…

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Then I blink, and the screen shatters, letting the water rush in.

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