Name: Dr. Adileh Khayyam
Department: Psychology Department
Description: Dr. Adileh Khayyam is one of the resident psychologists of Site-43 and a specialist in dealing with humanoid anomalies, having assisted in the continued rehabilitation and monitoring of such anomalies as SCP-637, SCP-2370 and SCP-2032. Dr. Khayyam has been at the forefront of several initiatives relating to the mental health of Foundation staff, speaking at the Headspace intra-organisation conference on multiple occasions.
Dr. Khayyam was initially recruited by the Foundation following Incident READING GROVE: further information regarding said incident may be found in the corresponding casefile. As a result of said incident, Dr. Khayyam appears to have developed a somewhat abnormal measure of resistance to mind-altering and cognitohazardous effects, although such capabilities are not deemed sufficient for designation as an anomalous humanoid.
Serial Containment Prospectuses
- SCP-2370 – Undo It, Retry It
- SCP-2630 – Stock Of A Sort
- Allison Eckhart – Allison Eckhart
- SCP-2858 – As Though The Wasps Themselves Had Worked It There
Targeted Analyses of Likely Executive Scenarios
- Zyn: kaiju butterfly ninja master – April Fools' Contest 2016
- The Fountain of Lamneth – Third Law Cyberpunk
- Operation Llewyn Dark – Code: Geas
- A Memorandum – D-Class Contest 2016
- To Be Noir Not To Be – Metafiction, the Mob and Murder
- The Dedekind-Infinite Demographic – Wholly Chao
GoI Imitation Documents
- Operation Llewyn Dark (Third Tab) – Maintenance Report
- The Fountain of Lamneth (ラムネスの泉) by kidonoi
- SCP-2630 by kidonoi
- To Be Noir Not To Be (ノワールになるか、ならないか) by kidonoi
- Operation LLEWYN DARK (オペレーション・リーウィン・ダーク) by kidonoi
- Allison Eckhart (アリソン・エッカート) by C-Dives
- http://ja.scp-wiki.net/scp-2495 by kidonoi
Works and Letters
SCP-2370 – Undo It, Retry It
A large part of the coolness of the skip is pre-SCP-2370 realising he's SCP-2370…
It's a cool idea, and I see how it could be used in tales and the like…
– Jacob Conwell
SCP-2370 was quite the slow-burner for me. I initially came up with the first write-up in March, and had to wait till June before I could get it into an acceptable format. This was mainly due to the difficulty of finding a good enough twist for the article to really have any sort of sting apart from "Well, cool, I guess" – and even then, it lingered at +10 for a bit before my rewrite.
The idea for the SCP was basically churned out during my desperate attempt to find a new way to do time travel as a concept. Given that FortuneFavorsBold did the whole time travel schtick pretty well with Thad Xyank's temporal shenanigans, I wanted an alternative to straight "go here do this" time travel. Then, while thinking about all the different ways that time travel's been done, I decided to do it using something typically considered a consequence of time travel as opposed to a method of time travel – a causal loop.
I will admit that a guy getting a second chance with time travel, saving people who died, etc. is a pretty damn cliche thing to do. In my defense, I'll say that if you did have a chance at avoiding the deaths of coworkers and/or significant others, I certainly hope you'd at least try to save them.
Really, the one thing I hope I did with this skip is at least provide people with a standalone bit of character for my pet time traveller. Characterisation by actions alone is something I need to do more often.
Also, on the down-low: I wrote a successful superpowered self-insert article, if only in the fact that he's Indonesian and a guy.
The Fountain of Lamneth – Third Law Cyberpunk
As a hardcore cyberpunk fan, this appeals to me. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of classic Gibsonian cyberpunk and pulls it into the Foundationverse.
As said in chat, this is the best thing I've read in months. Excellent work.
Somebody hasn't been to enough dive bars.
I think it's set in the Maxwell net and involves getting a meme virus out of someone's head or something
– Jack Ike
The other day, I was at Kinokuniya, curled up into a corner like the dorf I am, when I decided to go read Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash. I'd already read Neuromancer so I sort of knew what I was in for, but I wasn't prepared for the ridiculously intense storm of tech and prose that I got hit with when I read the book. In other news, I'd been approached by GreenWolf about his upcoming canon and I'd been yelled at to go write a piece for the damn thing already.
Add both those things in with a good dose of sleep deprivation and stress thanks to an upcoming software project and you get this tale. I'm almost inordinately proud of this – Kanako Yamada was an old character recycled from an equally old draft, so I like to think of it as a "how far I've come" thing.
That being said this is the third ever thing I've put on the mainsite, so take my self-congratulatory wankings with a grain of salt and a tissue.
(I'm even more proud that this was the tale that made Third Law a Big Official Thing™ so yeah. Grab another tissue.)
Operation LLEWYN DARK – Code: Geas
I've been waiting for this to be posted for ages now. Good work, Aiden.
A good story mixed with a solid primer on paratechnology and an admirable combination of different formats. I've been looking forward to this for a while. As you know.
Excellent work. I particularly like the idea of a 'microscopic tartarean pinhole', and thoroughly enjoyed this tale.
Operation Llewyn Dark would've been my entry into the MTF Contest had I not gotten back into the Foundation right as the damn thing had ended. That being said, the idea wouldn't have come into fruition without A Random Day's excellent T-Minus and its mention of NDA-geas, which ARD helpfully explained to me in chat while I was looking at the draft.
The idea of taking geas and expanding it into a fully-fledged paratechnology then came from that, with the seeds of the idea being planted by Charles Stross' The Jennifer Morgue and its handling of geas. Following that up with a Wikipedia binge about Irish mythology and some talk about satellites lead to this cocktail of astrotech and geas.
I then proceeded to make a couple of logos in Adobe Illustrator, slap together a letterhead based off Sunny's work for the MTF contest, and write some fluff about how geas came about involving everybody's favourite memetic duo, Berryman and Langford. GreenWolf and TyGently got hyped over it for no good reason after I showed it in chat, and as a result I proceeded to sit on my hands for a month.
Cut to August. GreenWolf makes a bet with me that if he completes a tale about necromancy (not raising the dead, you semantically drifting bums), I have to put up PSAT Setanta. I realise I haven't done jack shit about it, and, well, here we are.
GreenWolf is yet to write the necromancer tale. I feel mildly cheated.
SCP-2630 – Stock Of A Sort
<~GreenWolf> UPVOTE UPVOTE UPVOTE
– ~GreenWolf mashes button
mechanical auguration is nice.
This was originally written on a train ride back home, when I was tired, suffering from caffeine withdrawal symptoms and a painful bloody headache. Following the spitballing session that led to the development of the necromancy tale, I decided to take the idea of automated necromancy that's actually necromancy (that is, divination using corpses) and make it into a skip. I slapped up a neat little draft and posted it in a side chan. G-dubs and co. got hyped over it, and (again) I sat on my hands for a while.
Upon revisiting it, I decided that the weirdness of the concept alone could be used for much greater effect, and as any hack will tell you, "if you don't know how to do something, rip off someone who can." So I turned to my favourite example of "WTF weird", SCP-1193, and tried to copy the "semantic whiplash" technique from the skip by piling on absurd detail after absurd detail. I also decided to ditch the Series III semi-trope of story being told through addendums 'n' such and left the majority of the story implied.
The name Reikia comes from TyGently, although I'm sure he never actually intended for it to be used that way.
Questions you might be asking:
- What's Incident 219-Keynes?
There was a little economic meltdown that happened in 2011 you might be aware of. Whoopsies!
- Where did the human intestines come from?
"SCP-2630 should never come into contact with animal products or live animals at any time."
- What's the tragic golfing incident?
She was hit in the head by a rather large fragment of a well-known satellite.
A Memorandum – D-Class Contest 2016
There's not a lot of good tales about people on the site. This is one of them.
The emails and correspondence have a lot of nice flow, and I really find them to be believable. There is good characterization here, and you can really feel the different personalities of the various hands involved.
– Jacob Conwell
I was prepared to be disappointed by fancy schmancy try hard format screw or unnecessarily wonky storytelling but it was excellent epistolary tale
This was difficult for me to write, although if I describe how I wrote it, it doesn't exactly seem that way.
Let me explain: when you really get down to it, there are four main elements of any really successful piece of writing, namely plot, character, setting and style. Operation LLEWYN DARK was my attempt at writing for plot and setting, while Lamneth was style and setting over just about anything else (as the comments stating "tf is this I don't even" would suggest). Memorandum attempted to address the gaping hole in all this, namely, characterisation, with a good dose of style.
The idea of this tale came from me reading an article in the paper (one I actually linked in the discussion page, to boot) about paramedics and the culture of psychological abuse that's developed around the career. I've made no secret about my particular struggles with mental health and that article hit me straight in the gut. Combine the kick of grief-powered adrenaline with the subconscious urge to write character drama and I turned out this particular piece.
I wrote the entire draft in about five hours. It's gone through exactly three changes since the first draft – the first was to elaborate on Fletcher being sent to the med bay, the second was to make clear Morgan's motivation behind shutting down the D-Class' account and the third was to fix some typos in the timestamps in the security log. Rimple continues to prove themselves as a crit barometer, as I posted it expecting it to be downvoted to hell and found instead a +12 rating some time later.
The bulk of the characterisation and plot is delivered through the negative space in the notes: the sheen of passive-aggression that Morgan displays, the D-Class' abortive attempts at helping Fletcher heal, Khayyam's thinly-veiled desperation at seeing his mental health go into a free-fall. The epistolary form of the tale, too, is also guided by the clinical, detached feeling of examining the various memos and emails a bunch of colleagues sent to each other.
That being said, it might feel convoluted or difficult to follow for some readers – that's perfectly fine, given the slightly obfuscated format of the tale. It's unconventional, sure, and it could just as easily come off as melodramatic, no doubt, but at its prime it's an epistolary narrative telling the story of a toxic institutional culture and its effects on a group of characters who can only watch as it wears down an innocent person whose only crime was caring.
3:15 PM <Dexanote> But otherwise I'd like to see more of this universe.
3:15 PM <Dexanote> I could even see it being a loosely grouped series of Tales.
3:16 PM <Dexanote> Like the… whatever it was Mann's character was called, the one Security guy who had an awful life.
3:16 PM <Dexanote> Lombardi tales, yeah
3:16 PM <Dexanote> I think you could do that kind of thing.
3:16 PM <AidenEldritch> Sounds good.
3:16 PM <Dexanote> I'd read it
More to come.
To Be Noir Not To Be – Metafiction, the Mob and Murder
I like how you tie the rise of Noir fiction to anomalous meta-narrative warfare, and the idea of characters popping in and out of the written word armed to the teeth with fictional sci-fi tech is pretty inventive.
– Jacob Conwell
It's like eating freshly prepared General Tso's Chicken wrapped in gold leaf.
I can't really say much for this one. This idea smacked me over the head at school after reading The Big Sleep and for whatever reason I could not let go of that goddamn concept, so I banged out a draft and showed it to Pig_catapult on chat before posting it on a whim. This was meant to be a somewhat light-hearted, fun, and most definitely unconventional look at the SCPverse in general, and it's a bit of an oddball even in the… already pretty unconventional atmosphere of Third Law.
Allison Eckhart – Allison Eckhart
Allison motherfucking Eckhart.
I don't know why people keep insisting I hate clever things.
I honestly upvoted quite early at the phrase "autosynecdochic semantic pointer, believed to be the result of an artificially induced conceptual fractal" and dared the entry to reverse my vote as I kept reading.
I don't know why… I liked this.
– Doctor Cimmerian
Surprisingly, this doesn't get as annoying as it should.
In retrospect, this was probably another victim of the "Fuck It Let's Post" Syndrome that I seem to keep falling into. Allison Eckhart is probably the most oddly controversial thing I've written yet, which is probably to be expected. There were similarities to two of Scantron's skips – SCP-2602, which used to be a library, as well as Di Molte Volci, which was posted pretty damn close to when Allison Eckhart came out.
If anything, though, I'd say it's more reminiscent of Inside, considering the semantic fuckery going on in that as well as the repetition of a word/phrase ("is/became inside", "Allison Eckhart"). That all being said, I don't feel the similarities to other SCPs are the main flaw of the article – rather, the logical flaws that psul pointed out.
The weakness of the article is its lack of a really strong internal logic apart from "ha, it funny". Allison Eckhart is predicated around the slow, semantic horror of having literally everything become Allison Eckhart. The clouds are Allison Eckhart, the water is Allison Eckhart and the skin flakes of Allison Eckhart are all Allison Eckhart.
The problem here is that how the Eckhartransmutation actually occurs is ill-defined and inconsistent. If I get around to rewriting it, correcting this fuckup is probably going to be top priority, as is correcting the odd pacing and escalation (which went from "huh, that's cute" to "oh god the entire planet's breathing Allison Eckhart fukkkk").
SCP-2858 – As Though The Wasps Themselves Had Worked It There
it was a bit slow to start but, man. fucking wasps.
– Communism will win
No, that most certainly is not better.
The inspiration for this particular buttfuck of sanity and Vespidae is a comment AbsentmindedNihilist made in chat, where she suggested the idea of "wasps that impersonate WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants)". From there, I took the idea of wasps becoming people and thought of wasps coming out your pores, before then going onto the logical conclusion – makeup companies capitalising on it.
As you might guess, the idea of "haha Neutrogena selling a cure for wasps" can only be so novel for so long, so I decided that in my infomercial transcript that I'd give the users a bit more insight into the fucked-up world that produces "wasp pores" as a common medical aliment. The big twist, of course, is that the alt-Foundation is using baseline civilians for testing their products.
It also implies they're so desperate for a marketable and somewhat permanent cure that a) they're willing to work with Fifthists b) they sold out to Neutrogena of all things and c) they needed to test-run it on other universes' civilians because they had a shortage of D-Class. This is not a healthy or fun universe, not that (again) wasp pore universe will ever be a fun universe to exist in.
This will probably be the only horror thing I ever write. But goddamn if it wasn't a fun trip down body horror lane.
The Dedekind-Infinite Demographic – Wholly Chao
I gotta say dude, when you nail prose you fucking nail it
Your new tale is disgustingly good.
Speaking as Macaroni Landis Of The Buttercups Most High, I've been pretty surprised at the lack of Discordianism on the site. Aside from Randomini's Acidverse hub and his Discordianisme Syncrétiste, there has been a total of almost nothing whatsoever about Discordianism, and that's when we have a figure whose last name is literally Chao, as well as an entire group focussed around spreading chaos and discord.
So I wrote this to address that. Partially that and the fact that I wanted to write something about the Black Queen. This also serves as an unintentional hype piece for A Random Day's upcoming series/canon within a canon based around weird and wacky WMDs, because I was stalking his sandbox for a few fortnights before the publication of this tale. Said worm-y figure is a rather prominent presence throughout that series, so stay tuned for more.
The sequel tale is named after this song by The Avalanches.
Favourite Tale of All Time: Three Sleepless Nights by Djoric
Yeah, I really like this tale. Fight me.
In more serious news: I love this tale because it perfectly encapsulates the kind of balls-to-the-wall, anomalous, speculative, hyperactive fiction that I came to the site for. It's weird. It's purple, and it's nigh-on incomprehensible but I love it so, so, much. You're pelted with every detail like chunks of crack cocaine and you feel it hitting your system with every sentence.
It's a tale about blood, sweat, magic and psychics and I love it love it love it love it.
Favourite Series of All Time:
Randomini's The Cool War is the epitomy of a long tale series executed right, and oh god has it had a hell of an impact. It established the basis of Learning the Alphabet (sorry, TG, you lose this time), another great tale series and just as importantly provided a window into the pure, unfiltered psyche of an utter madman. Given my adoration of Three Sleepless Nights, it should come as no surprise to you that that's the biggest compliment I think I can give.
And then there's Et Tam Deum Petivi, which I still hold to be one of the best examples of characterisation on the site. Also, the series that introduced the term "Topmom McLiftsalot" is physically incapable of being anything other than cherished and beloved. There's the sass of Mary-Ann, Salah's calm demeanor, the … of Saturn Deer – there's just so much and so many people to love and care about.
The above have been mostly urban fantasy with tinges of high fantasy on the side, though – now time for some science fiction, or speculative fiction at the very least. qntm's Introductory Antimemetics took the original concept of SCP-055 and spun it off into something new and even more terrifying by building up an entire family of the damn things. From there, it becomes a mind-bending trip down a memetic rabbithole I don't think I'll forget any time soon.
Funniest Tale: I, Autarch by Kalinin
I am the absolute pinnacle of humanity's ability to exert control, refined to the outermost limits of mankind's capabilities to achieve my purpose of ruling over my domain.
Somebody, please shoot me. Right in the head. Please.
It's a tale where the world's gone to shit and people have become immortal. The world, in an unrelated note, becomes absolutely fucking hilarious (albeit blackly humorous) in the process.
Saddest Tale: Fault by Tuomey Tombstone
Not going to say a lot about this one, except it hits way too many spots close to home for me to not upvote it.
Any skip that forces me to write an essay detailing why and how it's so bloody good can't be called anything other than my favourite. No other skip has actually made me do that and for that, I've got to salute you, minmin. This is a fucking fantastic skip and the exploration of the metaphysical anomalies become a trippy yet entirely rational portal into the brand new "field" of antinarrativics.
2188 is a perfect encapsulation of the mesh between SCP and tales: the ability of tales to explore a character and a plot with ease, the dispassionate, cold eyes of the SCP report, both combined in a melancholy, beautiful exploration of two people's relationship in the world of the Foundationverse. It's not hamhanded and it's not lazy – it takes time to build it up into a poignant piece about a man and his town.
This is the epitomy of weirdness kicking a skip home for me, and it's one that'll continue to endure for as long as the site lasts, with any luck. SCP-1193 is a simple story – it's one about a man in his oven – but it's one which carries an eerily sinister undercurrent of logical illogic, the feeling that we're not getting the universe, that we've been thinking about it wrong the whole time.
Stale jokes about "I had a crit but I forgot it" aside, qntm-and-some-other-bloke's 055 is the "thing which does a thing" of Series I taken to a new extreme by exploiting the horror of the unknowable, as well as just plain old smart-arsery. That being said, if that was all it did I'd have to put SCP-579 up the top: the subsequent Tale series he created a mere five-odd years after the fact adds chocolate ganache to the cake.
Favourite GoI-Format of All Time: GRANT REQUEST FOR UTILIZATION OF ELECTRO-THAUMIC COMPUTERS TO PERFORM EXORCISMS OF DEMONIC ENTITIES
GOI-FORMATS DESERVE A FAVOURITE SECTION GODDAMN YOU
This is Prometheus Labs at its finest – treating a machine that automatically performs exorcisms like a new and improved washing machine. It perfectly summarises the coolness of the entire Group of Interest (what if anomalies was science?) while also adding new and cool things to the universe. It functions great as a grant request and it functions great as a worldbuilding piece. Great all-round.