ALEXYLVA PUBLICATION ARCHIVE - NEWSPRINT
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THE TELESCOPIC

WANDERING DEVICE USERS: LANDSCAPE RECOMMENDED


Issue No. 𐤈𐤆 𐤇𐤅𐤃

/A.

A DEAN DAWN ARRIVES

THE DEAN OF THE UNIVERSITY HAS RETURNED WITH GREATER STABILITY THAN THE UNIVERSITY HAS KNOWN SINCE THE ASSUMPTION OF LEADERSHIP. FUNDING FOR MULTIPLE ALEXLYVA STUDENT PROGRAMS. CELEBRATION CEREMONIES HAVE BEEN SCHEDULED.

ALL PATRONS OF KNOWLEDGE WILL BE ATTENDING. DO NOT EXPECT TO LEAVE BEFORE SUNDOWN. NO MORE THAN ONE SPEECH WILL BE ENGAGED. A PARTNERSHIP WITH ONEIROI IS EXPECTED TO BE ANNOUNCED.

WORKERS MUST PREPARE TO EXHIBIT RESPECT AND TAKE NOTES ON ANY SPEAKING EMANATING FROM THE DEAN. LOYALTY PLEDGES WILL BE BRANDED IF A LACK OF ENTHUSIASM IS DETECTED.

DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE DEAN.


A NOTICE TO ALL

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TOKEN FALSIFICATION IS AN OFFENSE. THERE WILL BE PUNISHMENT. EXECUTION IS POSSIBLE. SEIZURE OF BODY FOR SCIENTIFIC DONATION USED BY THE UNIVERSITY OR ITS SPONSORS IS PERMISSIBLE. THIS WILL BE YOUR ONLY WARNING.

ANY TIPS TOWARDS TRAPPING TRAITORS, WHO ARE CRIMINALS AGAINST CURRENCY, WILL BE GIVEN FANTASY OF REWARDS AND PRIZES. FALSE REPORTING WILL BE MET WITH WARNINGS.


THTXXX THOUGHT PROCESS

A NEW CLASS HAS BECOME AVAILABLE TO ALEXYLVA STUDENTS. TAUGHT BY GAIUS OCTOBRAS WITH POSSIBLE ASSISTANT PROFESSOR SUPPORT FACULTY.

DISCOVER HOW TO PLUMB THE MIND IN OTHERS TO FACILITATE LIFE ADVANTAGE. NATURAL PROCESSES CAN BE HELPED THROUGH THOUGHT. NOT MEANT TO TEACH KINETICS OR MENTAL ENGINEERING.


MENTAL GYMNASTICS COMPETE

EXTORTING THEIR FELLOWS TO FIND AN ODD TRAIL THROUGH A LOGICAL QUANDRY, THE AU DEMININE SQUADREN FULFILLED ITS GOAL. THEIR DECEPTION SKILLS ARE ENVIABLE. THEY EXERTED AN EXHAUSTING AMOUNT OF EFFORT IN ACHIEVING THEIR GOAL.

SPEAKING ONCE THE GAMES HAD BEEN COMPLETED, IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE TO OBTAIN A COMMENT AS ALL WERE MENTALLY DRAINED. CROCODILE TEARS WERE ADMINISTERED AND REVIVED THE PARTY ENOUGH TO ALLOW THEM TO WAKE UP AND WALK AROUND POSING.

NOTICE: THE POSSESSION OR SALE OF CONTROLLING SUBSTANCES IS STRICTLY REQUIRED. IF FOUND TO BE WITHOUT POSSESSION OF EXPECTED DOSAGES, THEY MAY BE ADMINISTERED IMMEDIATELY. IT IS BELIEVED THAT THOUGHT ENHANCEMENT IS CRITICAL TO THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE. THIS IS FOR YOUR ACADEMIC BENEFIT.

BEWARE!

MANY CHARIOTS IN THE STABLES HAVE BEEN UNDULY LIGHTENED OF THEIR LOADS BY UNKNOWN PARTIES. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT VALUABLES ARE SECURED AND SLAVES TETHERED BEFORE LEAVING TRANSPORTS UN-ATTENDED. ANY CLUES REPORT TO THE UNIVERSITY GLADIATOR.

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THE SHAKING EARTH CANNOT HOPE TO TOPPLE ALEXYLVA.

THE PLANET ONCE AGAIN ATTEMPTED TO REVERT THE COURSE OF HUMAN KNOWLEDGE WHEN A TREMENDOUS MOVING OF THE SURFACE OCCURRED AT A LATE HOUR. RUMBLING AND CACKLING EMERGED FROM BELOW, BUT TO NO AVAIL. WE CAN WITHSTAND ANY AMOUNT OF NATURAL PHENOMENON WITH THE SUPERIOR POWER OF NATURAL PHILOSOPHY.



STUDENTS IN CONFUSION

IF UNCERTAINTY HAS STRUCK YOU, ADRIFT IN LIFE, PERHAPS CURSED OR BEWITCHED, ALEXYLVA HAS ACADEMIC MASTERS READY TO ASSIST YOU THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. SUBMITTING TO THEIR MASTERY WILL ALLOW YOU TO ABSORB THEIR SKILLS THROUGH ACTION. ADVISORY DRONES ARE AVAILABLE TO DIRECT YOU IN THE PRECISE COURSE THE CATALOG DEMANDS. THERE ARE SEVERAL NEW REQUIREMENTS.

  • HUSCII - INSTRUCTION ON SPEAKING WITH OTHER LIVING CREATURES AND SEVERAL NON-LIVING BEINGS. KEEN WILL REQUIRED FROM RESOURCE ALCOVE.
  • TRSLXXX - SKILLS AT UTILIZING COMPLEX ABACUS DEVICES AND QUANTIFIERS. LEARN WHAT HAPPENS IN THE EVENT OF NULL TRANSACTION VOIDS.
  • FLYDCI - INTRODUCTION TO PHYSICAL ENGAGEMENT, LEARN HOW TO OPERATE BASIC SELF-DEFENSE TOOLS AND BUILD UP PHYSICAL STRENGTH WITH ENDURANCE. CODE MAGAZINE IS REQUIRED
  • CRTCCCL - LEARNING THE BEST METHODS OF TRADE AND HOW TO USE TEARS IN THE WORLD FOR FINDING PRODUCTS. THIS WILL ALSO ALLOW FOR ESTABLISHED GUILD LEADERS TO SELECT NEW APPRENTICES.
  • MAKDCL - SCULPTING AND CHISELING FOR THE BEGINNER.

SOME MATERIALS ARE REQUIRED FOR ALL CLASSES:

  • STONE CHISEL.
  • TABLET.
  • PROPER ROBE AND FLOWING GOWN.
  • NUTRITION ENOUGH TO ALLOW CORRECT THINKING.
  • LIGHTED INSECT IN SEALED VESSEL.

MEMBERS OF ALEXYLVA DIRECTORY CAN BE REACHED THROUGH BIRDING FEATHERMESSAGE OR ELECTRONIC MAIL.


//A.

ELEPHANTS GENTLY USED

ANY ACADEMIC INDIVIDUAL INTERESTED IN OBTAINING GENTLY USED ELEPHANTS MAY COME TO THE BIDDER AUCTION HELD OUTSIDE THE SPEAKATORUM BY THE SIXTH GATE. ALL WERE USED IN WAR, SOME NEEDING MODERATE REPAIRING OR COUNSELING.

BE PREPARED TO TRANSPORT CREATURE. ANY ACCESSORIES SHALL BE SOLD SEPARATELY. AUGMENTATIONS WILL NOT BE INCLUDED. THE FOLLOWING SOL CYCLE OMENS WILL DETERMINE WHEN FURTHER AUCTIONS CAN TAKE PLACE

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SEDATION IS NOT OPTIONAL.



TUTORING ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE — DO YOU REQUIRE ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING THE TASKS NECESSARY BEFORE BECOMING TRULY ONE WITH KNOWLEDGE? THAT CAN BE REMEDIED WITH EASE IF YOU LET US IN YOUR BRAIN.

BRING PAYMENT TO THE RAVINE — DO NOT BE LATE OR IT WILL NOT WORK. HEADS MUST BE SHAVED BEFOREHAND AND WILL BE INSPECTED BY PHRENOLOGIST. DISSOCIATION WILL OCCUR UNTIL THE TASK HAS BEEN COMPLETED.

SLUGSCUMM MIND ENHANCEMENT.


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TELESCOPING LETTERS

STUDIOUS CONCERNS TO THE EDITORIAL MEMBERSHIP WITHIN THE TELESCOPIC IS ALWAYS TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION. RESPONSES FROM THOSE WHO CAN PRECEPT WHAT IS NEW AND WHAT IS NOT CANNOT BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE CURRENT LISTINGS FOR THE CUISINE FACTOR. IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO SERVE MORE THAN TWO MEALS PER DAY. IF THIS GLUTTONOUS CYCLE CONTINUES IT WILL LEAD TO THE FLABBY GREED-INDUCED DEATH OF US ALL. IT IS WASTEFUL TO EAT HERE WHEN IT COULD GO TO THE BIGGER CAUSE.
SEBASI PENTON

NUTRITION IS AS IMPORTANT AT HOME AS IT IS DURING STUDY. WITH PROPER EXERCISE, EATING, AND SLEEPING HABITS YOU CAN PUT YOURSELF IN A SOUND PLACE. HAVING FOOD IN THE STOMACH IS KEY FOR MANY ACADEMIC ADVANTAGES TO SUCCEED.

THE BATHS HAVE NOT ENOUGH BATHERS. WHENEVER I AM ENTERING, IT IS ALWAYS FOUND COLD AND DREARY. EVEN IF IT IS LATE, WE ARE PAYING FOR THE WAVES WITH OUR COIN AND DESERVE BETTER FROM THE UNIVERSITY. WHY HAS EVERYONE GONE BY?
ALEXIUS FORSBERG.

MANY ARE BUSY WITH STUDYING DILIGENCE AND RETURNING TO PRODUCE IN THE WORKSHOPS. WITH WORKERS BARRED FROM BATHS IN THE DAYTIME, MANY HAVE FOUND THEIR TIME BETTER SPENT SWEATING THAN WASHING. YOUR COIN IS GOING TOWARDS TRANSCRIBING WORKS FROM LIBRARIES, EXPERIMENTS, CONCEPTS OF NATURAL PHILOSOPHY.

IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS, THEY CAN BE ANSWERED, WHISPER A SECRET IN THE RAVENS EAR AND WE SHALL BE INFORMED.

SOOTHING SOUNDS SENSATIONALIZE

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SERENADING THE STUDENTS

IN THE SOUND GARDEN, THE CLOUDS PARTED TO SHINE LIGHT DOWN UPON THE SYMPHONIC ASSOCIATION OF ALEXYLVA. THEIR VOICES SANG OUT IN A CHORUS, SERENADING PICNICKERS IN THE TREES. IT COULD HAVE SOOTHED BABIES WITH THEIR MOTHERS AND CALMED THE SPIRITS OF ALL IN ATTENDANCE. MORE OF THE STUDENT BODY ARE ALWAYS WELCOME iN THIS CHOIR.

SINGING TALENT IS PREFERABLE. MUST BE IN FULL CONTACT WITH NEXT AND PREVIOUS OF KIN. JUDGEMENT WILL BE MADE ON QUALITY AS WELL AS THE CLASS AND STATUS OF THE CANDIDATE, AS WELL AS OUTSTANDING DEBTS.

FOOD AND SOME BEVERAGE WILL BE PROVIDED. DO NOT MAKE PLANS FOR ACTIVITY FOLLOWING THE TRYOUT. THOSE WHO ARE SELECTED WILL BEGIN PREPARATIONS IMMEDIATELY AS WELL AS BEING AWARDED FULL DEGREE OF THOUGHT.


NEW DORMITORIES TO ARRIVE

THE OLD MOURTZOUPHLOS DEPOT HAS BEEN OBTAINED BY THE UNIVERSITY FOR USE IN THE COMING SEMESTERS. IT WILL HOUSE INCOMING TRANSFER STUDENTS FROM OTHER REGULARITIES AND CORPOREAL LAYERS. IF MULTIPLE ENTITIES FROM THE SAME CONSCIOUSNESS REGISTER ATTENDANCE, ADDITIONAL FORMS AND DOCUMENTATION WILL BE REQUIRED.

INCOMING LEARNERS WILL HAVE NO DIFFICULTY FINDING SPACE FOR THEMSELVES NOW.


ONEIROI IMPROVES SAFETY

BAD APPLES TAKEN OUT.

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ALEXLVA ONEIROI ALLOCATION


THROUGH THE USE OF NEW SOMNAMBULIST TECHNOLOGY, SEVERAL MEN WITH ANTI-SAFE THOUGHTS WERE LOCATED PRIOR TO THEIR ABILITY TO CAUSE DAMAGE EMERGING. THE PROCESS OF THEIR EXPULSION HAS BEGUN. SEARCHING THEIR PREMISES SHOWED PROOF OF INVERSE THOUGHTS AND PLANS.

THROUGH THE USE OF DREAMS, INSPECTORS FOUND THEIR DREAMS AND FROM THERE WERE ABLE TO OBSERVE THOUGHTS. ALTHOUGH THIS IS NOT NEW, IT WAS PREVIOUSLY DEEMED IMPOSSIBLE TO OBTAIN COHERENT FINDINGS. FANTASY OF PAIN AND SUFFERING CAN LEAD TO VIOLENCE IF UNCHECKED.

COLLECTIVE FINDINGS CAN NOW BE ADMITTED INTO THE CHRONICLES ALONG WITH OTHER KNOWLEDGE. THIS SHOULD PERMIT MANY MORE CONFUSED INDIVIDUALS TO BE TAUGHT CORRECT INFORMATION. DREAM SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE TO ALL STUDENTS AND COME ALONG WITH OTHER BENEFITS PROVIDED BY OTHER UNIVERSITY PARTNERS.

AS WITH MOST ANOMALOUS SERVICES AND ORGANIZATIONS, ONEIROI DREAM MONITORING SERVICES ARE PRESENT IN ALL ALEXYLVA RESIDENCIES.

TELESCOPIC STAFF

COORDINATION MASTER: JAINE SHARP

EDITORIAL MASTER: ANA NG

F-CORRECTION MASTER: EMILET MIRABON

SOCIAL CONNECTION MASTER: WYNG HYZUENGA

LAYOUT ARCHITECT: DONETZ MONSTRO

VISUAL PRODUCER: JOHANN KHABBAZ

APPRENTICE: JOHN SCOTT

MASCOT: MYSTERIOUS WHISPER

DO YOU WANT TO WRITE FOR THE TELESCOPIC? WRITE THREE AUDITION ARTICLES AND PLACE THEM UNDER YOUR PILLOW. WE'LL LET YOU KNOW WHAT WE THINK.

THE TELESCOPIC IS A STUDENT-MANAGED PROJECT OF ALEXYLVA UNIVERSITY

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