Ambrose Makiling
rating: +72+x

Ambrose Makiling

Mabuhay.png

Mud_Spring.jpg

Ambrose Makiling is Happy to Announce its Grand Opening!

We invite you to join us in exploring new culinary heights right here in Makiling's Grove, on the Pearl of the Pacific.

Indulge in our Hands-only Buffet overflowing with the local exotic fauna and flora, raised by our own host, Fairy Queen Maria Makiling and her Diwatas. These alluring nymphs are more than eager to follow your requests on or off the dining table.

If you're coming with friends, come reserve a table of our famous Boodle Fight offering. We assure you, you won't run out of food like the soldiers of old, because everything replenishes itself!

We accept advanced orders for customers with reservations. Please contact us one (1) day in advance for preparation. In addition to our in-house ingredients, we accept custom orders for any materials you may bring for a small corkage fee.

Fixed Price per Pax = 14,000.00 PHP


Disclaimers

As we serve the local deities and entities as well, please do refrain from engaging other customers or prohibited areas. We do not claim responsibility for mortals who have been spirited away. We have bungalows for more private affairs, so please don't wander off the premises.

All food materials you bring will be evaluated upon entry and given an appropriate price for corkage.


Kakanin (Bite-size Baked Goods)


Kalasakas Sinukmani
(Growth Sticky Rice Cake)

Pioneered by the local god who grows crops, eating this glutinous mixture of steamed rice, coconut milk, and topped with roasted highland legumes and latik fried coconut flesh will at least add 2 centimeters to your height.

Kalasokus Bibingka
(Ripening Baked Rice Cake)

Popularized by the local god who matures crops for harvest, this baked delicacy from milled glutinous rice, coconut milk, butter and spices will bring you back to your sexual prime.

Damulag Puto
(Softening Steamed Rice Cake)

Made infamous by the local god who protects flowers, this soft and puffy steamed cake topped with Sarangay cheese and salted Tiktik egg is jam packed with so much calories and carbohydrates eating 3 cakes at once will cause fat embolisms.


Pang-Dagat (Seafood)

Kilawing Sirena
(Vinegar Cured Siren Ceviche)

Raised in the Laguna Lake at the foot of the mountain, these sirens are put to sleep by Diwata voices before they are butchered to ensure the highest quality demi-human meat reaches your table fresh. Actively denatured in coconut vinegar and rare mountain spices right at your fingertips. Rest assured the scales growing on you are quite normal.

Pinaputok na Berberoka
(Steamed Open-gutted Swamp Thing)

Freshly gutted in front of our guests, our BerBeroka stock are unequalled in size and meat texture. Fed only the youngest of lost children in spring water, Berberoka we prepare have none of the muddy smell of regular ones. Customers can choose what spices they would like to stuff the chosen Berberoka. Vegan Berberoka available upon request.

Sinigang na Sugpo sa Mangalyo
(Sour shrimp Stew in Will-o-wisp fire)

Only the biggest shrimps imported from our Temecula branch is good enough for our guests. Stewing all night using the local fire wisps, the wisps are added to the tamarind and vegetables reduction once they use up their short lifespans. The resulting viand is bursting with flavor and light.


Karne (Meats)


Bistek Sarangay
(Muscle Bull Demon Steak)

Allowed to terrorize the nearby university, each bull gains more muscle mass by feeding on the high quality fear of its victims. Butchered stress-free and grilled with Mangalyo fire, the meat tears off like cotton candy. Served with Sarimanok liver gravy, our albularyos are on standby in case of heart failure.

Adobong Sarimanok
(Rainbow Chicken Adobo)

Whole Rainbow Chickens plucked and gutted hourly (yes, that's the hourly fireworks). The prized liver portioned for its painful burst of sublime taste, the lean meat is stewed in coconut vinegar and mountain soy sauce. Spices are added after 30 minutes of boil over Mangalyo fire, resulting in the divine flesh falling off the bones.

Dinuguang Aswang na Baboy
(Demon Pig Blood Stew)

Using an old method to make demons, Kurobuta swine devours victims of violent crime successfully improving the already tender meat from Kurobuta strains. Meat and entrails are stewed in its own blood infused with moonlight herbs and coconut vinegar for 2 hours. More than 2 servings and even Maria Makiling herself can't help you.


Kasama (Side Dishes)


Wakwak Balut
(Man-Crow Embryo)

Wakwak eggs brought in from the Capiz Region are inspected for embryos. Viable eggs are soaked in warm blood for months for the embryo to mature. Before hard tissues fully form, the eggs are pressure cooked for 2 hours. Served freshly cooked on the service floor with salt and vinegar.

Atsarang Labong ni Malakas at Maganda
(Pickled Bamboo Shoots of Adam and Eve)

Bamboo shoots are harvested from the Great Bamboo and pickled with other moonlight vegetables in Coconut vinegar. The resulting dish is a perfect accompaniment to any of our meat offerings, substantially lowering your risk of cardiac arrest.

Itlog na Pula ng Tiktik
(Salteg Harpy Eggs)

Harpy Eggs are harvested and submerged in mud comprised of graveyard soil and fairy tears. The eggs are then boiled over Mangalyo fire and served fresh on kakanin or beside rice offerings.


Special of the Day


Sizzling Sisig Ulo ng Aswang na Baboy at Atay ng Sarimanok
(Meat Salad of Demon Pig Head Parts and Rainbow Chicken Liver)

Marinated a day before in a coconut vinegar concoction, then seasoned with salt, pepper and starlight spices, afterwards drizzled with Calamansi and topped with Cracklings. Served on a sizzling hot plate, it finishes cooking right in front of your eyes!

(Caution: Touching the hot plate will melt whatever body part it came into contact with)


Advanced Orders


Sisig Kahit Ano
(Anything Goes Meat Salad)

You name the meat, we serve it on a sizzling hot plate.

Kilawing Kahit Ano
(Anything Goes Vinegar Cured Meat)

You name the meat, we serve it fresh and cold.

Sinigang Kahit Ano
(Anything Goes Sour Soup)

You name the meat, we serve it in sour soup.


Panulak (Beverages)


Makiling Mead
(Honey Alcohol from Makiling's Sacred Garden)

Mead from the honey in Maria Makiling's garden is exceptionally sweet and terrifyingly strong. Flowers in the garden are tended by the faeries themselves, showered by their faerie dust. 3 shots is all you can take, believe us.

Diyan Masalanta Tuba
(Love and Conception Goddess Coconut Red Wine)

A local aphrodisiac and fertility supplement, the perfect drink for a date. Over-consumption will lead to twins.

Batang Bakunawa Lambanog
(Coconut Vodka with young Snake Dragon)

With a young snake dragon infused in a lambanog jar for decades this drink is truly for the divine. We mean it. Mortals will not only lose brain cells, but also their minds.


For Reservations Please Contact:

(+63) ███-███-████ for █████ subscribers

(+63) ███-███-████ for ████ subscribers

lola.basyang.1925@███████.███.ph

Paalam.png


MICHELIN GUIDE ONLINE

Powered by The Dark Web


★★★★☆
I simply came to have a snack and drink but this place does not disappoint. The Demon Kurobuta blends perfectly well with the divine liver meat. I also sampled small portions of all your liquor and was sincerely impressed, though I can't recall drinking the last one. Perchance, could we procure some stock? Your banana leaf menu was an amusing piece of parchment and I shall pass it on to my superiors.

~Victor Chan

★★★★☆
My date would've been perfect if that Faerie didn't suggest THAT SECRET OPTION to me. I apologize for having lost my composure. I'm kinda attached to my mortal and would never think of hurting him. Other than that, the shrimp stew was sour to perfection. The chef was also kind enough to give us some additional Mangalyo for our soup. I absolutely loved those savory sweet lights.

~ Mayari, Avatar of Selene

★★★☆☆
Me and my friends were just hiking when we got lost in this fog. We remembered an old tale about reversing our shirts and found this amazing place. I've always been a healthy eater, but when I got the Puto with the Dinuguan, I just had to pig out. Well, I'm an obese pig now after that. My friend tried checking how hot the hot plate was and lost his arm. Some old dude did first-aid and led us out of the mist. Funny thing though, our luggage included 2 additional bags from people we don't remember meeting.

~Juan dela Cruz

★★★★★★☆
I found the copious amounts of hatred the Aswang Kurobuta exuded to be refreshing. The horror of its victims would have been of top quality. I also firmly express my gratitude to the host for accommodating my request of having seven attendants. The Tuba they served me worked so well, I finished seven bottles.

~ Child of the King Adorned in Red



Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License