By popular demand, I've finally put together an author page!
This is not an in-universe document, for a couple of reasons. I'd like to include some explanations for my writing and articles that simply aren't possible in-universe, and the only Anaxagoras that maybe exists in the Foundationverse is actually a Chancellor in the Universiverse.
First, SCPs I have posted, in chronological order:
SCP-833 — Charity Worms
SCP-997 — Vermin Suppressor
SCP-962 — Tower of Babble
SCP-1088 — The Eternity Ward
SCP-838 — The Dream Job
SCP-1014 — Jonah Crusoe
SCP-1700 — Debtshop
SCP-1500 — Zachary Callahan
SCP-1900 — Dr. Bryshevskiy's Book
SCP-1909 — Conquerer's Tomb
SCP-562 — Revel Rousers
SCP-1862 — The Fluoridated Man
SCP-1755 — Cotton Blight
SCP-1291 — Football Gods
And one last one:
Gods of Money
If you've read my articles (You haven't? For shame!), you may have noticed some general stylistic consistencies. They tend to be rather short, SCPs tend not to be very deadly, and there tends to be a decent amount of research behind them. The research is because I feel it's always nice when you can learn something from an article. For instance, I learned from 087 to take the elevator. And now for some notes on my articles, my thought processes, and other things.
My very first SCP. I didn't have a sandbox, because I thought then that you needed three successful articles to make one, so I made a thread in which to run the idea by the community. I'd like to thank thedeadlymoose for having aided and advised me since the very start of my tenure here.
I would say this one turned out fairly well. Some things in the writing are awkwardly phrased, and I'm still not sure about Addendum 833-3, but the interview turned out okay, and the concept I think is a strong one. In my eyes, this one isn't actually anomalous, just strange enough that the Foundation wants to keep it contained.
This one started out in my head as a "better mousetrap". I had this idea a few weeks before I joined the site, and in its original form it was an object that drove out all mice and rats in a large area, and that the Foundation gradually discovered was something far, far more horrible. The object class would have been Safe Euclid Keter. This seemed on review to be a bit silly, so the idea eventually evolved into this. A little bit of it also lived on in 962 in the whole "only dangerous to nonhumans" bit. Neglect is a real thing, and it's one of the creepier things I know of. You know something, but your consciousness refuses to be aware of it.
The rest of the test log is redacted in-universe because the Foundation figured out that this thing can also function as a powerful mind control device under the right circumstances. I'm reasonably satisfied with how this ended up.
My most popular article. This one also started out rather differently, as a medium-sized robot that ate nature and excreted literature. This was, shall we say, poorly received in chat. After some revisions, it ended up in more or less the current form, but without the rant component. I was on the fence about adding that one, and a big thank you to all those people in the thread who told me I should.
One thing I like about 962 is the object class. It has never harmed anyone, even in self-defense. Yet it's also demonstrated capabilities that indicate that if it changed its mind on that, we might all be screwed. Pair that with a less than stable (and fun to write) form of insanity, and you have something awfully dangerous for something that really, really likes you. Also, I like how it's one of the most easily visible objects the Foundation contains, and how its sheer size makes containment a bit trickier.
This was for a time my worst and least favorite article. I made this one for the 1000 contest based on an urban legend someone alluded to in the contest thread. But the original version of the article had no hook whatsoever. It was just something horrible, and horribleness isn't interesting. It wasn't until someone brought up the baby living that I figured out what I now think is actually a pretty decent hook. I think this article kind of got forgotten, thanks to its prehook form.
Incidentally, this also contains my only use of [DATA EXPUNGED] or [REDACTED] in any of my articles. Though it is of the squick-concealing variety, I think it's a reasonable use of one, all things considered.
This went through two prior iterations. One is the first version I posted, where you didn't get paid, getting fired did nothing, and it gave you bad sleep deprivation. That one was kind of blah. The version before that, which mercifully existed only in my head, was a skyscraper that stalked you and eventually devoured you. Glad I didn't post that one. In it's final form, this is one of my favorite articles, because the analogy came through so clearly and nicely. The title really sums the whole thing up so nicely.
Right now, this is probably my least favorite article of mine. It just doesn't have a hook, and I'm not sure if it makes any sense under examination. The closest thing to a hook is the repeated ominous phrase in different languages, but that's honestly kind of dull. The main thing I like about this is how it's going extinct because it's schtick (sinking wooden ships) has become obsolete.
Fun Anaxagoras fact of the day: most names I use in articles are combinations of the first and last names of different people I know. Or find when randomly searching the internet.
This article attracted a bit of controversy in chat and in its thread over the decision by the Foundation to not even bother trying to contain SCP-1700-A. My logic is that there are potentially millions of them scattered all over the world, and that they're indistinguishable from mundane scarves, at least to someone without knowledge of the supernatural. It would be impossible for the Foundation to search the house of literally everyone who could have bought one or been given one even without bothering with secrecy. Even if they could somehow, it would cost such a prohibitive amount of resources, it just wouldn't be worth it. Besides, SCP-1700-A aren't terribly visibly anomalous.
As for the article itself, I feel the interesting thing is that we have some fully human SCP creators in custody. Since the change to SCP-100, that I believe makes SCP-1700 unique, at least until 1755. I was going for some banality of evil with the interview. Bland's comment midway down the first page of comments sums up exactly what I was going for. Might the Foundation have filed this as two objects? Possibly. But we're telling stories here, not working for a nebulous secret organization. I think.
The hardest part of writing this one was coming up with the cover story. It had to be something that could be left alone, would be placed in a secure cell, and that no one would try to rescue or mercy kill. Someone in chat suggested the plant thing, which worked out great. I put at least as much thought into writing the cover story as the truth. I deliberately violate some rules of writing humanoid SCPs, especially in the last paragraph. The containment procedures are designed to come across as a little bit off. I want someone confused and suspicious by the time they click on the concealed part. The pun at the end of the cover story is deliberate. I couldn't resist.
I, just for fun, came up with a sketch of the origin of this thing, and threw in a couple fairly subtle hints to it in the article. I had meant this to be an easter egg for myself, but I let slip that there was something hidden in the article, and people responded as I should have figured they would. The easter egg is now an omelet, and so an origin story is forthcoming online, under the title Green-Gray.
I did a lot of research on this one, and it has a lot of stuff I like. The concept is cool, the implications are creepy, and I had so much fun writing the letter. But there's an elephant in the room with this one, that was brought up by everyone I described this to: What's the mechanism for human-computer or computer-human transmission? I still haven't been able to come up with a satisfying answer to that, and that's the main thing that's holding this article back. The other thing that might be hurting this article's rating is the title. Quick, without looking up, try to spell it.
I'm frustrated with this one. There's a lot of cool stuff here, and I feel it ought to work. The uptick in "Alex" is a real thing, and I have no idea why it's happening. That should be damn strong SCP fuel right there. Plus, I feel I did a good job conveying to tone for the inscription. So why doesn't the article work? First off, it's bad expungement. Okay, technically there's no expungement at all, but I never say what happened during Incident 1909-2, despite its obvious importance to our understanding of the SCP. Similarly, the Towers of Alexander are ill-defined. Even I'm not sure exactly what they are. This was a deliberate stylistic choice, because the Foundation can't know what these things are, but it really doesn't pay off here.
Another flaw is in the personality of Alexander. As I said, I did convey the tone I was going for with the inscription, but I'm not sure if it's the tone I should have been going for. The perception in the thread, and I can't say I entirely disagree, is that it's a poor match for Alexander's personality. He's perceived a bit less as an egomaniacal tyrant than I depicted him, though in fairness that ego is entirely justified here. Lastly, there's some logical flaws, like why Alexander didn't use all this supertech when he was alive.
I may come back and try to repair this article. I would shift it probably from supertech to magic, or at least something seeming more magical than as I currently have it. I'd clarify or remove the Towers of Alexander, because right now, however clever they seemed at the time, they really are just distractions. Alternatively, I might have the tomb not be built by Alexander himself, but by more modern (as in, in the last thousand years) fans of his. We'll see how it works out.
This one has a bit of a story behind it. So, a new user named xDarkBloodWolfx posted a new article which had basically the exact same effect as this. People online are contacted by something calling itself "Mary" or "Muhammed", then if they agree to visit it, they vanish. One of the vanished folks appeared dead in a forest in Malaysia. Despite Mr. xDarkBloodWolfx's rather… inauspicious username, the SCP was actually kind of decent, though not quite good enough to make it on the site. I figured out my own explanation for what was going on, and wanted to write it up. Of course, I'd need either author permission, or for the author to be clearly gone.
I contacted xDarkBloodWolfx, and he wrote back politely and reasonably explaining that he still wanted to take a crack at his idea, and that he'd rather I not post my version. I had been hoping that if he did say no, he would do so in such an odious manner that I could go past him in a clear conscience. Talking it over with him in chat, we came to the conclusion that our ideas really weren't remotely similar, except, of course, in primary effect. I proposed that I help him to the best of my ability with his SCP, and that we post our takes simultaneously, with the mini-contest posted in the first post of the discussion thread. Whichever had the highest rating after a week would stay. I figured that with my help, he'd have a chance at it, and even if he lost, it would still be decent positive publicity for him. Others in chat agreed that it seemed somewhat like an experienced gunslinger challenging a novice to a shootout, but agreeing to show him where the safety was first. In retrospect, that was probably closer to the truth than I cared to admit.
Fortunately, it didn't end up coming down to that. When discussing his idea with xDarkBloodWolfx, the idea gradually developed into something rather different from mysterious chatter that makes you vanish. The town proved to be big enough for the both of us after all. I don't believe xDarkBloodWolfx ever posted his version, but he showed strong potential.
As for the article itself, I had originally intended to have a log of the chat, but I couldn't figure out how to make that interesting and plausible, so I just omitted it. I think the historical element is a strong enough hook anyhow. I'm pleased with the names I came up for for the fairy chatters. In my headcanon, the fae can't create new dances and songs themselves, which is the primary reason they abduct humans, so they have something new to do at this endless revel.
This was the first of my article marathon (four articles in four days), and actually my favorite. It was inspired by an XKCD What If that discussed how horrible fluorine was. This got me thinking about water fluoridation conspiracy theorists, so I just sort of threw this together based on all the random ideas regarding fluorine I had at the time.
Despite the haphazard construction, I did put a lot of care into the writing of this, especially the excerpts from his site. I've always found conspiracy theories interesting in how they develop, so I included a lot of the patterns I've observed, such as how they tend to expand to include more than just the original topic of the conspiracy. Still, when I posted this, I had no idea what was going on. How did this guy become Fluorine Man anyhow? What does that have to do with his administration of a fluorine conspiracy theory web site?
I didn't know the answer to any of these when I posted 1862, but I actually figured that was less of an issue than it normally would be. It fed into the papers-tacked-to-walls conspiracy theory mood I was going for in the article. Since then, I've figured it out, more or less. There's not really enough in the article for the reader to get it, but that's okay. What happened to him is not at all what happened to his disappeared forum members, and is in fact an accident. The thing with the coupons is actually related to what happened to him.
With this article, I like the tone I captured in the website, which I feel is actually a decent facsimile of real conspiracy pages, and that in the interview, which does a good job showing how this guy doesn't quite get it. I think the use of groups of interest is solid here, especially with Mr. Cerrano's only semi-accurate view of the supernatural world. The main effect itself — fluorine man — is a little bland, but hopefully that's not too much of a problem, seeing as the focus isn't really on him.
So, this is a rewrite of the old SCP-474. That was a kind of generic uber-parasite that killed you in hours and turned you into more of them. The only distinguishing feature was that, in the short time before you died, the parasites looked like threads or pieces of lint, and they would, in the process of replacing you with a lump of parasites, also replicate your clothes. Trying to make paranoia about fabric, I guess. I really disliked the old 474 for conflating danger with creepiness.
Fortunately, I was not the only person to think it not up to the site's standards, so it eventually dropped into the negatives, and I volunteered to rewrite it. And I tried to. I got the idea of an uber-parasite of clothing, with no negative effects on people, right off the bat, but couldn't get any further than that. Frustration with my inability to finish the article actually drove me away from the site for a while, until the crystalized idea for SCP-1862 brought me back. The break made it much easier to finish the SCP, and I was able to put it up within a day. The 474 slot was long gone, of course, but eh. I find it mildly interesting that this article is very similar to my SCP-1700, both being about textiles, both having us having the creators in custody, and both being made for very banal reasons.
Also, I wrote a Keter nudifier. Made of worms.
Another problem idea. I tried writing this over a year ago, and just couldn't. I tried the idea of eldritch horror college sports team, but it wouldn't come together. Everyone I showed it to in chat thought it was awful, and that the idea was completely unworkable. So I shelved it. Coming back to it, I figured that the biggest problems were with the nebulous powers and motivations of the eldritch horror. To make it easier to work with, I decided to neuter the thing. I put it into the body of the coach, and stripped it of its ability to actually, you know, help the Moccasins. This allows the Foundation to actually interact with it.
I thought my journal was pretty good, but I took extra care to get help on it, since I knew it was the most important part. I found some problems with the journal slipping into an improperly narrative tone, but was mostly able to refine those out. I'm not quite sure where the phrase "sick silk nail" came from (it was in the original version from over a year ago), but I'm not surprised people liked it.
In my headcanon, the reason this thing isn't helping the Moccasins is because Coach Wilson isn't really out of the picture. He had once-a-millenium talent at magic, and is still there, inside his head, locked in an even struggle with the entity he summoned. If it weren't for his will, all the Moccasin's opponents would have died as soon as the match started.
I'm pleased with the idea for the "Binding Maintenance Procedures" section. I was having a problem with the containment procedures that half of them were for the protection of Foundation personnel, and half were for the protection of the rest of the world. The difference is a relevant one, as the Foundation should know that removing SCP-1291 from its wheelchair will not cause the entity to break free.
Commentary on tales:
One day in chat I receive a message from Salmander asking me if I want to be a part of his secret project. I accept, and am told that it's a Canterbury Tales style collection of stories about the Little Misters, as they each journey in search of Mr. Redd, who's shtick is that he's poorly defined right now. I chose three Misters — Moon, Headless, and Thin. Mr. Thin never got written. I wanted to do him as a poem, but I couldn't get it to work.
This was actually the second story I wrote, just a few hours after Mr. Moon. I decided to take a very straightforward approach to Mr. Headless. The stories of the headless horseman actually didn't occur to me until well after this was posted. I think the old fashioned creepypasta writing style works well on this one.
This one was chosen to be the lead-off for the series, which was posted one per day over about three weeks. Unfortunately, I was off chat for a few days, so Salmander wasn't able to inform me, so he posted it himself. That's why I'm not technically the author, even though I am the writer.
Mr. Moon always bothered me. He, alone of the original Little Misters, had a power that was entirely a drawback. And not even a very interesting one either. He was just an old man who was blind half the time. I also wanted one of the stories in the collection to be about an SCP already in containment. The idea came to me quickly, and then it was simply a matter of putting it in a story with the right tone. It's short, but I think I did a good job at capturing the essence of Mr. Moon as he should be. This is one of my favorite articles.
I decided to add this fairly late to the Tales. Seeing as this is a fairly major addition to the lore of the Little Misters, I ran this by Sal and Dexa first. I hate second person, and I'm not too big on present tense, but they seem like the only good option here. In the first draft of this, I placed the two twists far closer together, but I'm happy with the spacing now.
I researched the crap out of this one. Almost everything in there is a reference to some actual piece of Greek philosophy. They weren't all forward-thinking advocates of democracy. I also had some fun constructing the arguments the Chancellor (probably Anaxagoras) uses here. Some of them are fallacious for rather different reasons than they would be in our universe. I wrote this at about the time there was a surge of popularity for Alexylva-related articles, in an attempt to flesh out the Universiverse and give some idea what was going on over there besides the production of creepy artifacts.
This isn't very good. I didn't self-delete it because I think there's some good lines, but honestly, it's not too good. The main thing I like about this is the use of SCPs. Self-defense sugar is a cool item that fit well, and just consider what SCP he kills in this. What number should it be?
Finally, I write a tale about one of my SCPs. This was for Smapti's canon in the 2013 New Year's Contest. I suppose this is less intimately a part of the canon than the other stories are. It could, for instance, work just fine in Bellerverse instead. With this one, I think the journal format works well, though I think I could have given the guy a more distinct voice. What I was going for overall was that there's no reason the unnatural has to be more hostile and dangerous than the natural.
Another hard one. This was the long promised origin story for SCP-1500. Interestingly, this basically makes it into an X-man, but no one actually complained. The challenge with this was nailing down the voice for Zach, and balancing that with the massive amount of exposition I had to deliver. I needed to get across both how he became SCP-1500, and why he's the kind of person who would become SCP-1500. I had an earlier draft fo this floating around that I showed to Ksaid, who was quite helpful in figuring out what parts to keep and what parts to get rid of. The real breakthrough was when I realized that I should put the exposition into the special expositions sections, and remove them from Zach's voice. This also made the story a bit less monotonous.
The other bit I like is the email from the Prometheus researcher. Unlike Zach and the advertising, this researcher is a lot more blasé about Prometheus's technology, probably because he actually had a hand in making it. I liked the tonal contrast with the intranet message. The stuff with Zach's soul getting absorbed by the Telekill is a bit experimental, but I think most people got the idea.
I wrote this way back in high school after I got bored in econ class and combined fiat currency with the notion that gods derive their power from the faith of their believers. It's a cool idea, and it could probably get a better execution than this, but it's what I wrote.
I originally posted this to the SCP wiki, but it was considered to have too little to do with the Foundation and I was told to repost it over to the Serpent's Library wiki. A pity how empty that place is. But what is there is generally quite good.
I've been reading this site for years. I found it long ago, back in the halcyon days of high school, and was immediately hooked. I don't remember where I was first linked to it; possibly TVTropes, possibly not. In short order, I read the whole list (a feat that was much easier in those days). My favorite articles back then were SCP-035 and SCP-342. The site was more inconsistent then, but I have a certain amount of nostalgia for the less enforced structure and kookier articles.
I've always thought of myself as a good writer, but I'm lazy and a perfectionist. Every word must be right, every sentence perfectly constructed. As you can imagine, this takes a while, which is where the laziness kicks in. I've also tried to maintain a fairly small internet presence, so I didn't join the site. But I continued to read it regularly, as the mass edit was conducted and, er, seafood became harder to buy.
College helped with my weaknesses as a writer, forcing me to be faster and more confident, as well as purging the bloviating that plagued my writing through high school. When my hard drive crashed the summer of 2011 without me having any backups, I chose to treat this not as a calamity, but rather as an opportunity to begin new era in my computer use. Except not quite that grandiose. And so, I joined the site I'd been reading for three or four years, and here we are today.
I have a somewhat nonstandard view of the Foundation and the universe it inhabits. First off, the supernatural is not the best kept secret. Consider: The Foundation may try to keep the general populace from learning about the paranormal, but they aren't the only force out there. Many other groups of interest have no problem letting random people know about the things man was not meant to know. Clever enough? Rich enough? Curious enough? You'll be able to figure it out, and the Foundation doesn't have any easy way to know that you know.
Similarly, the Foundation itself is not a perfect secret. Most of the other GoIs know about, along with most governments, and they aren't all as secretive. It's ludicrous for any secret organization to operate without the knowledge and consent of the world's major governments. Similarly, it's kind of silly for a secret organization to have more resources than, say, the US government.
Consequently, I view the Foundation as being something like a cross between NIH and special forces. The Foundation has to do a ludicrously broad array of things, and as a result, even with extensive subcontracting (utterly unavoidable), they still can't have much depth. They must have respectable research in nearly every field, including some that they can't recruit anyone with a background in. They must have elaborate and nonstandard facilities at numerous locations across the globe, and have a moderate military capability.
With this many different things it must be able to do, my Foundation can't do any of them at a particularly superior degree of capability. It's also crippled by its secrecy, dangerousness, and moral ambiguity, both of which make recruiting the best a much harder task. It's worse at nearly every research field than top-tier research facilities that specialize in that field. Its agents are well-trained, but tragically few. The only advantage it has is technological, thanks to advances gleaned from studying anomalous objects.
To counteract this, the Foundation has been growing more and more rapidly. And it still tries to remain secret. The problem is, with modern advances in communications technology, and the difficulty of quashing information once it gets out onto the internet, secrecy is soon becoming impossible. Soon, very soon, the public will learn of the existence of the paranormal, because it would be ludicrous for them not to. Class A amnesiacs can only go so far. Whether the Foundation has planned for this or not remains to be seen.
As for the Foundation itself, it's important to remember that it's made up of people like you or I. Not all the researchers are like Dr. Gears. Hell, Dr. Gears isn't like Dr. Gears, if you've read his profile and early stories with him in it. You can't make an organization as massive as the Foundation as cruel and ruthless as it is sometimes portrayed as being. The reason why certain dictatorships can grow so vast is because people live in a sea of propaganda. In contrast, the Foundation is dealing with people who would probably react like you would to callous sacrifice of lives for trivial gain. There aren't many Mengeles out there. Additionally, even the most repressive organizations have defectors, and to remain secret, the Foundation can hardly afford any.
This is not to say the Foundation isn't powerful and ruthless. Only the GOC may wield more direct power among the GoI, and the Foundation is willing to do terrible things for the greater good. But they are far from omnipotent, and when they make hard decisions, they are indeed hard.
To the average citizen in the Foundationverse, there are rumors of the supernatural far beyond those present in our world. With enough effort, it's possible to pierce the veil of secrecy and discover what the Foundation would prefer you didn't. Of course, the lengths to which you'd probably need to go would probably distance you from everyone but those who already know, so at least the information wouldn't spread. There are plentiful rumors of the men in black, but they're highly contradictory, considering the existence of at least three opposing organizations whose agents are being described.
It's a mad world, but it's intact for now. Still, when the time bomb of public knowledge of the paranormal goes off, all bets are off.
I've posted some drafts for ideas I think have potential but don't know how to work here. All of these could be great, but currently suffer from crippling problems.
For the Moccasins, I think the log is quite strong, but the article itself is a bit on the weak side. But I really want to make the core of an SCP college sports team work. I have a few ideas. I'm keeping the eldritch horror for sure. It worked!
Fringe Theories is adapted from an article by someone who posted one rather cool article that had major tonal problems, then vanished. It might work as an 001; I don't know. I think that article is the closest of the three to prime time, but just a bit lacking in some way.
The Invisible Fist has a really clever name, and I like the idea of a Keter that poses only an economic threat, albeit an existential one. But like SCP-1900, the mechanism is too poorly defined, and the thing itself is a bit bland and unstoppable. I think I don't know enough about the stock market to be able to write this article just yet, but I will one of these days.