Magic Orientation
rating: +57+x

"Hello. Thank you all for coming. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Dr. Tilda David Moose. I am the director of Site-19.

"I'm here to — pardon my colloquial tone — I'm here to talk to you about magic.

"I'm not a very good speaker. Just letting you know that up front. If it were up to me, someone else would be standing here. So let's start this with some questions. Just raise your hands like you're back in school. Easiest way, don't you think? I — Oh. That's… that's too many hands. Alright, you in front, go ahead.

"No, this isn't an orientation for Mobile Task Force Sigma-3. Sigma-3 is a task force that doesn't exist. It doesn't hold 'orientations.' I think they had one orientation, ever, and that was when they were created. If you're here from Sigma-3 and you think you need an orientation, your superiors haven't been doing their jobs. Next question?

"I thought I said don't ask me questions about — okay, fine. She just asked why everyone here is from Sigma-3. First answer, it's not everyone. More… two-thirds of you. I see at least a dozen are high-ranking members of Tau-9, the Bookworms. Some of you are clearance 4 researchers who've just been read into this program, at least three of you are new directors, and some of you are… 'spooks'. Not saying who, of course. Just have fun wondering about that. Anyway.

"Very, very few people in the Foundation are allowed to know anything about magic. This is… by far the largest number of people I've ever spoken to about this. I guess what with everything that's been happening recently, the Overseers want more people, ah… knowing what's going on.

"Yes, okay, ask your question. — His question was — what exactly is 'Sigma-3'?

"In that case, I have a question, too. How the hell does anyone in here not know what Sigma-3 is? You should've been sent material on… right, great, still in the process of declassification. I see. I take it back, I suppose.

"Okay. We'll start with what we call "the anomalous community." Give you the lay of the land. How the world works, out there in the shadows. I'll explain how our Groups of Interest fit into this. I'll tell you about the Wanderers' Library. And, yeah, I'll explain a little bit about Sigma-3. In between, we'll have breaks, so you don't hate me too much.

"I assume you all already know this, but… There may be about a hundred of you in here, tonight. Still, you are a fraction of the Foundation's population. We're going to keep it that way. Anything you hear from me, anything, is not to be discussed with anyone who's not read into this program. On pain of death. Probably.

<clears throat>

"Finally, I'm going talk to you about magic.

"Don't panic. No, you're not hallucinating. There has been no containment breach, and, I promise, there are no drugs in your coffee.

"I am quite simply talking to you in the color blue.

"This is because I am what they call a "mage". Or, if you like, a "Type Blue"… or "a witch". This is stuff we can do. It's, well — magic. Trivial magic, but magic nonetheless.

<clears throat>

"But I'm not going to talk about magic quite yet. Give me just a moment, and we'll get started."

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