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The Parauniversal Ramifications of Human Greed

Unified Thaumatology Quarterly Vol. 43, No. 4, October 1956, pp. 24-38

International Center for the Study of Unified Thaumatology
London Campus

By D. Kelzahn, N. Bolas, J. Long

Abstract
It has been conclusively established the nature of sapience is closely linked to that anomalous [1] and that on the whole, the emotions of humanity as a whole have ontokinetic properties [2]. Given that collective emotion has corresponding effects on reality, one must hypothesize that want and need — the strongest of human emotions [3] must have drastic effects on reality. This further becomes complicated by the personification of such concepts, which will result in unknown effects.

References
1. Loyd, D. & Zartion, C. (1920) "Does the Black Moon Howl? On the Origins of Humanity" Fieldwork, Foundation Interior Publishing
2. Salvia, A. (1951) "Tablets of the Gods: The Collective Nature of Man" Theography, Foundation Interior Publishing
3. "Emotion, Categorized by Objective Power"; A. Scott, H. Jordan et. al.; Unified Thaumatology Quarterly; vol. 12, no. 2, April 1925, pp. 63-68.

Project Proposal 1994-043

Name: Fat Piggy

Abstract: Fat Piggy is a piggy-bank (normal model, as cheap as possible) painted with a monacle, mustache and the MC&D logo. Every hour, the piggy-bank will actualize a small amount of conceptual wealth (that is, money which is not represented in a physical form) into the shape of a small gold coin, which will be produced within the piggy-bank. One coin is roughly worth $100.

When somewhere between eight-five and ninety coins have been produced, the piggy-bank will crack open and explode, spraying coins everywhere. After that, the piggy-bank will start reforming, to start the cycle again.

Intent: To the oil magnate, to the harsh dictator, to the kings and queens and lords and ladies, the common people are specks of dirt. To Marshall, Carter and Dark, the rich are unto ants.

The honorable Messrs. Marshall, Carter and Dark are so rich that if they were to lose all but 10% of their wealth, they would still be among the richest men in the world. The amount of money Fat Piggy skims off the top of their ledgers is almost nothing at all. They will not even notice that it is gone. But it is more than enough to support a modest life for a half a dozen men and women.

Eat the rich. Part of a complete breakfast.

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9 They came to the city of Jericho, having walked for five days. 2 And when they entered the city, immediately they heard of a man with an unclean spirit. 3 The man, who had once been humble and observant of God, was held by terrible greed. 4 Jesus led his disciples to the house of that man, and called upon him to meet them outside. 5 The demoniac came outside, and ordered them to leave him and his household alone, to never return again. 6 Jesus saw at once the spirit had made him greedy and desiring for gold, and went up to speak with him.

7 Jesus said to the man, "Your greed has blinded you to the truth of God." To which the man said, 8 "Be quiet. I have no need for your truth. I am great on my own." Jesus raised his hands and blessed the man. 9 So the unclean spirit left the man, and left this world. Jesus turned and spoke to his disciples, 10 "Know that it is easier for the rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than through the Gates of Heaven and the Kingdom of God. 11 For ordinary men, this is impossible, but through God all things are possible."

Summary: Small collection of entities, originating from outside of material realm. Unclear connection to certain human concepts, such as greed/wealth/desire/money/ambition. All have vested interest in gaining prior concepts and maintaining status, appears to be primary goal. Relation to one another unknown.

Four currently identified, fifth suspected. Three of four confirmed leaders/influential within large anomalous business entities. Fourth rarely seen. Potential fifth does not appear to share the same goals of the others, but has limited contact. Outlier, may warrant further investigation. Does not currently appear threatening.

Goals of each vary, but are generally consistent. One sells objects of luxury to rich, second sells objects of need to the desperate. Objectives of third unclear (contaminated by malignant fundamental constant associated with industry/production/rust/mechanization). Observation of fourth has not proved fruitful in establishing motives. Fifth only suspected.

List of confirmed members:
- Mister Dark of Marshall and Carter
- The Investor of the Factory
- Mister Night of the Chicago Spirit

Act One - Chicago Spirit

"Mr. Night is one of the top men of the Spirit. He's an old friend of Richard Chappell, and has been in the business with him even longer than I have. Back when Chicago Spirit was the name of a bar, even. Before, too, I think."

I was approached by a former member of the Chicago Spirit yesterday, who offered to sell me a collection of items from his time within the Spirit that he no longer had use for. He claimed to have left recently, only a few months ago. He said his name was Mr. Night.

Current Status: The identity of "Mr. Night" is currently under active investigation, including his civilian identity and any connection he possesses to the "Chicago Spirit".

Crimes: Six counts of murder in the First Degree

Sentencing: Death penalty (if found and apprehended)

Act Two - Chicago Spectre


Mr. Night, the founder of the Chicago Spirit, reached out to the Factory Administrative Department in order to arrange a meeting with a member of the Factory Board of Directors, as to negotiate a deal between the Factory and a revival of the Chicago Spirit.

He referred to this group as the Chicago Spectre.

Adoption Poster: Ol' Shock!

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