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Document 847-26 was removed by security teams from Site 17's third floor break room after shots were exchanged between Agent ██████████ and Dr. ██████ resulting in the requirement of a new clone body.

While normal protocol would require all duplicate copies of Document 847 to be collected, it has been deemed that there are now so many of them in circulation that the effort required to execute such an order would be a waste.

Staff are strongly encouraged not to pose for illicit photoshoots and are certainly not obligated to "strip for senior staff". Employee handbooks citing this instruction are not genuine and should be reported immediately.


I love how they cut the display off at april. I can't wait for june to arrive. -yoric

December is the real payoff. -Site Director Bright

So this is why you guys wanted to revive the Chinese exchange program. - Zara

I found like, twenty of these in Hatbot's charging station. There's still four or five not covered with oil stains. - Dr. Sorts

I categorically deny ever utilizing anything so tame for erotic purposes. - Dr. Clef

That's what you're worried about? Not possessing the calendar, but being afraid someone will think you were turned on by it? - Dr. Glass

I have a reputation to maintain as a human bastard who only ever gets turned on by flipper-baby snuff porn vore. - Dr. Clef

Memo: Due to multiple incidents at Site-19 and elsewhere, Document 847-26 (the "Break Calendar") may not be introduced to any SCP without Level 4 authorization. O5 approval is required before introducing Document 847-26 to the following items: SCP-040, SCP-085, SCP-343, SCP-423, SCP-826, and SCP-914. Please note that we have collected sufficient experimental results on 914's Very Fine setting, as the ruins of Site-██ will attest. —O5-██

I'm sorry Dmitri, Rights had a copy and I kind of… well… you know how it is. - Lurk

To whoever it was that told him that I had this hanging in my office, you'll be the one paying my medical expenses. And could you at least give me a copy of the thing I ended up getting shot for? - Dr. Gerald

Can someone please explain why several hundred boxes of tissues have just been requisitioned? The form asks for deluxe man-size. - Aeish

Screw the tissues: Can someone tell me why there is several gallons of lube missing from my hardware closet? And to whoever took them: you would probably want to get some soap and wash that stuff off cause it will cause rashes and boils after ten minutes. -Dr. Kensington

Do not know who left copy of this on my desk. Will not make me like you better. Please retrieve it or I harvest your aorta. -Dr. Kald

Who left this in my car? I'd like to not be horribly murdered as I sleep by a vengeful Agent Break.
…and how did anyone even manage to get into my car?

Allright, who mailed a copy of this into the South East Asian branch? And didn't pay for the air delivery service?
I'd better incinerate the evidence. Break is currently on good terms with us in the SEA.
- Carriontrooper

Indignantly proclaiming that you have a copy and then swearing up and down that you do not want it isn't going to protect you big babies. Also, anyone else who wants to inquire about the remnants of hatbot's stash better come cash in hand. -Dr. Sorts

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