The Battle of the Toys: The Breakroom Routing
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Researcher Harris finished the last pieces of his model, and set it down, as it walked away to join its fellows. For the last hour, he had been creating Lego Space Marines and assorted vehicles, and adding them into the large city that the staff of Site-19 have established using SCP-387. As the Marine joined ranks with the dozens of others that he made, he watched with a silent awe as the Marines began to interact with the city, before the emergency klaxons began to blare.

"God damn it," he thought, "another Keter breach." His colleagues and him all rushed out of the room, as the Lego citizens waved goodbye to their creators and friends. The Space Marines saluted Researcher Harris as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.


Around the same time, Junior Researcher Jays was transporting the Play-Doh, designated as SCP-705, back to its containment chamber. As he was passing the break room, he too also responded to the emergency breach, and, in haste, dropped 705's container as he ran to his designated station.

As the container hit the floor, the lid popped off, and within minutes, a platoon of army men formed from the mass. Their platoon leader led them under the door, to see if they can find a spot to capture.


"Private, what do you see up ahead?" The clay sergeant awaited the returning scout as he ran back towards their temporary hiding spot.

"20 clicks to the east, a large city made from some sort of modular brick. 2 clicks ahead, a large, unattended supply depot. We can form our base from there, sergeant."

"Excellent. Good work, soldier." He gave the thumbs up to the platoon commander, who began to bark out orders as the band of soldiers proceeded to the repository of clay.


Jack was walking his dog down the western end of Main Brick street, and waved hello to all of his neighbors as he enjoyed the fresh scent of an afternoon walk. Rumors spread of new arrivals today, clad in large blue armor and carrying machine guns around. He wondered why anyone needed machine guns these days - it's not like there were any pesky imitation blocks around.

As he rounded the corner, he heard weird mechanical whirring off past the treeline. Perhaps the researchers were trying some sort of new thing with the electronic stuff, or perhaps it was the new arrivals with their fancy war machines. He knelt to the ground for a second when a giant non-Lego mecha burst from the treeline, spitting bullets and large-velocity shells.

Jack was caught in the strike and lay dismembered as the clay soldiers continued their sudden strike deeper into the city.


"Battle-brothers! Report!" The Marine sergeant looked upon his squad as they all stood resolute, the incandescent light shining off of their pauldrons. They were the Emperor's finest, and no man would ever-

Before the first marine could report his status, a stray clay bullet impacted the sergeant in the chestplate. He fell backwards, and the Marines immediately ran to cover their fallen superior from any other fire. Across the landing zone, other marines began to assemble under their squad leaders, while the company commander and his retinue began to convene on the sudden raid that they have been caught up in.

The sergeant lifted himself up, and, thank the Emperor, the bullet simply flattened upon hitting his blessed armor. Uttering his praises to the Emperor, he stood resolute as the company commander yelled for a swift counter-attack, and motioned for all the Marines to move forward and to deliver divine judgement upon the enemies of Mankind. The sergeant yelled for victory and for vengeance as he and his brothers moved forward, their bolters blazing as they moved towards the unrighteous.


"Man, that was one hell of a breach… glad those containment guys got that all handled." Researchers Harris and Jordans conversed and laughed as they proceeded back towards the break room to continue constructing their Lego creations and finishing up their lab reports.

As they entered the hallway to get to the break room, they saw Junior Researcher Jays running from the opposite end. He stopped as he first looked at the ground, and then towards the two researchers approaching him. He looked upon the container on the ground, and uttered a simple, "Oh shit," before facing the two researchers who came to him.

"Something wrong, Jays?" Jordans looked at the now flustered junior researcher before his ears tuned to a faint rumble emanating from the break room. He was about to tap Harris, when he turned and saw the same sight that was unfolding before their eyes.

"Holy shit," was the only thing that all three of them could manage to push from their mouths.


Marines took positions in the now ruined towers of downtown Main Brick street, while the Dreadnoughts provided cover for advancing tactical squads. Clay artillery shells whistled through the air while heavy bolter fire and Krak missiles smashed into opposing infantry lines. Around them, Lego minifigs were running to escape the cataclysm while police officers provided assistance to the Marines by using their cars as mobile cover and by shooting at the clay soldiers with their smaller, inferior weapons.

"FEEL THE HEAT OF THE EMPEROR'S FURY, HERETIC!" Battle Brother Zephyr aimed his flamer and ignited an advancing light infantry squad while their bullets bounced off of his helmet and pauldrons. He continued to steadily advance, setting flame to the enemy with his blessed promethium flamer, while his battle-brothers continued to fire their bolters from behind him and protect him.

As the Marines pushed forward, they heard a rather frightening sound rounding the corner - it appeared to be an enemy superheavy tank. "BANEBLADE!", yelled Zephyr, as he dived for cover while the vehicle's primary cannon launched a shot of clay into a business tower, sending minifigs falling to their demise or being crushed by the large pieces of debris that rained from above. Zephyr was buried underneath the rubble, but forced himself out, and began his burning inferno anew.

The clay superheavy continued to dispense destruction while the soldiers followed behind, while the lesser minifigs dropping their weapons and running. The Marines continued to hold their ground, firing whatever they could into the clay tank, while being pummeled by the artillery cannons situated behind the trees.

Brother-Captain Adaris smashed away another soldier with his Thunder hammer, watching the energies send the soldier flying into pieces and splattering the nearby walls of the building. He swept the hammer around and managed to send a light clay vehicle onto its side, before bringing the hammer down to utterly destroy its occupants in the name of the Emperor. Before he could swing his hammer once more, he heard the sound of retro-rockets firing in the air, and knew that the time had come to destroy the heretics and bring glory and praise to the Emperor.

"BATTLE-BROTHERS! CHARGE FORWARD, AND SHOW THESE FOOLS THE POWER OF THE EMPEROR! GLORY BE TO HIS NAME!" Adaris charged the superheavy tank and destroyed its turret with a flying swing of his ancient hammer, while the Marines behind him yelled a loud cheer and followed, bolters and flamers blazing to exterminate. The dreadnoughts and Predators continued to blast away at the enemy emplacements, taking out the machine gun nests and the snipers that attempted to harass the charging Marines.

Behind the treeline, the clay artillery pieces continued to walk their rounds back, attempting to keep the Marines away from their established positions. An artillery spotter was about to aim at one of the Predators, when he looked up and was promptly crushed underneath the weight of a drop pod. Two more pods opened, and terminators began to pour out with their storm bolters blazing. A soldier attempted to toss a fragmentation grenade at the heavily armored figures, before being swept aside by a power fist. Chainfists tore through the enemy pillboxes and bunkers, and the terminators began to advance towards their brothers, trapping the clay soldiers in-between two moving walls of death. Behind the terminators, Stormravens dropped off the mighty Land Raiders, and continued their advance, unimpeded by the enemy's light bullets.

At the end of the day, with the last clay soldier executed, the Marines sounded their praise to the Emperor. Brother-Captain Adaris looked upon the carnage, while the apothecaries tended to the wounded and to the fallen marines and all of the civilians that assisted them in routing the malleable enemy. As he began to walk back towards their new base of operations, a child minifig ran up to him and grabbed the leg of his power armor.

"Who are you guys?", the child asked, with a sense of curiosity behind his painted black eyes. The Captain smiled, and told the child, "We are the Emperor's Finest, and today, we bring salvation to this hive." He continued to walk back, with the thunder hammer over his shoulders, and the child waved back at him.

In that child's mind, he thought, "I want to be like him!"


"Let's never do that again," remarked Jays, as Jordans, Harris and him picked up the last pieces of clay and finally re-instated containment of 705. They left the Lego figurines on their own, as they could rebuild their city and take care of their injured. As Harris walked out of the breakroom, he saw his initially small Marine force laying down the foundations for a monastery, and, in a moment of sentimental value, saluted the Marines. The Brother-Captain saw him salute, and lifted up his hammer to return the gesture.

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