Track 1: Old Chilly The Space Trucker
rating: +29+x

"Old Chilly the Space Trucker"

By Brooke

I don’t care what you assholes think, we don’t have enough drum songs on the EP. How about we do one about that trucker we met on the way to Sacramento? What was his name? -Brooke

*Drum intro*
*More drums*
*More guitars*


We were travelin’ along, feeling tired and blue,
when a man pulled up beside me and my crew,
He said, “Hey there kids, do you wanna take a ride?
Sit right here beside me, let me show you the skies!”
Naturally we thought this was a chance we couldn’t skip,
and jumped up in that cab with Chilly and took a trip.

The truck was big and loud!
Yeah yeah yeah!
The fumes were pink and green!
Yeah yeah yeah!
The driver was a psycho!
Yeah yeah yeah!
And a party machine!
Yeah yeah yeah!


The old man tipped his hat, said “Old Chilly’s the name,
I drive all across the universe delivering grain.
See people in those galaxies have gotta eat too,
and sometimes use the grains to ferment tasty space brew.”
I asked him how he turned his big rig into a ship,
he laughed and said “I had to give some space techs a sip!”

The sky was dark and vast!
Yeah yeah yeah!
We sped throughout the stars!
Yeah yeah yeah!
Chilly wore an old cap!
Yeah yeah yeah!
He traveled near and far!
Yeah yeah yeah!

Drum Solo -Brooke

Drum solo? I’ve gone through the music you’ve written out like a half dozen times, and I haven’t seen any guitar tab or chords written anywhere. Are there supposed to be any other instruments in this besides a drum set? -Morgan
Nope. -Brooke
Fuck. -Morgan


Old Chilly parked us down inside an asteroid field,
and motioned for us to grab a brew case that was sealed.
We followed him across the way to a small dive bar,
around which were parked many a strange space-faring car.
He kicked open the door, took a breath, and yelled,
“More space brew from Kansas, ya’ll best come help yourself!”

Chilly was dancin all night!
Yeah yeah yeah!
He made out with a space hag!
Yeah yeah yeah!
She was a dreadful sight!
Yeah yeah yeah!
Oh how her titties did sag!
Yeah yeah yeah!


Chilly pulled over on the side of the road, back home,
Said “If you ever need me children just hit up my phone.
I’m really never far from a mobile satellite,
Unless I’m in Proxima Centauri for the night.”
We waved as he drove his big rig into the sky,
That Chilly sure was one hell of a space truckin guy!

Chilly taught us about space!
Yeah yeah yeah!
And flew a hefty brew barge!
Yeah yeah yeah!
He may be gone from our lives,
Yeah yeah yeah!
But his influence was large!
Yeah yeah yeeeeeeah!

*Drum Outro*

This is dumb. I wasn’t even on that trip. -Clyde

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