Cleaning Larry
rating: +38+x

They started giving us oxygen tanks after the fifth cleaning. We would vomit too much, and get Larry all dirty again. God forbid we have a dirty Larry.

I remember when we didn't have the tanks and we had to clean out the suit. The smells that hit your nose all at once - encrusted shit, stagnant piss, aging vomit, liters of sweat. But the worst of all was the smell of rot and death that pervaded the air around the costume. I always remember a documentary I watched on the US invasion of Okinawa during World war II. There was one hill both sides were trying to secure, and rotting corpses littered either side. They said that if you charged down the hill, you'd throw up from the stench before you hit the bottom. It was a terrible, gut-wrenching smell that hit my nostrils every time I cleaned this thing. Of course, now I have a skin-tight scuba suit on, so hopefully I'll be fine.

The first thing I remove is the head. Underneath, your typical d-class. His lips are rasped and puffy, and his chin is covered in dried-up vomit. The inside of the costume's mouth is caked over in barf. They say the d-class almost immediately start tossing their cookies when they get in the suit, because of the smell. It's horrible, because Larry tries to talk to you even while they're vomiting, and all you hear is a garbled mess of spit and choking. A quarter of the people who wear the suit die in the first 5 minutes from this.

I start removing the rest of the front half. The torso's always the easiest, just a bunch of sweat and some vomit that's dribbled down. It's funny when you look at the corpses afterwards, everything else is absolutely disgusting, but the torso is always in pristine condition. Sometimes right before the d-class expires they take him out of the costume and remove his organs, which they donate to hospitals. I mean, we have to be at least somewhat humane, right?

I start getting to the waist and pelvis. Typically the smell makes you barf right away. We always throw out the jumpsuits from Larry's testers after the test. I can't help but feel bad for whatever pedophile murderer rapist they've put in the back. Can you imagine having somebody fart in your face for 3 days until you die? They did one test where the d-class were completely naked. The guy in the back choked to death after one day. When they opened up the costume they found the guy in the front had shit all over the guy in the back's face, and it was encrusted over in the stuff. Apparently he had choked to death on the other guy's shit.

However, this time they were both wearing jumpsuits. The jumpsuit was stained in the front with urine and in the back with shit. Nothing too bad, but the rashes that form after the first day always make me cringe when I get a good look at them. Typically the guy's nuts are pussy and swollen, and his ass is bleeding and cracked. We had a few cases where women had their periods while inside the suit. I gag whenever I think about those.

The worst part is the boots. When we first did testing, researchers noticed a slish-slosh noise after the first day. It took them a moment to realize that it was the boots. You see, Larry's boots are rubber, and so do not absorb but only collect fluids. All the piss and shit and vomit and sweat and blood running off the people wearing the suit drains into Larry's boots. It collects into this viscous fluid, mostly brown and yellow, with the occasional flecking of period blood. The person's feet becomes caked in this fluid, which slowly turns into a muck. And when you have to remove their feet from the boots, it makes this loud sucking noise like pulling a flip-flop out of mud.

And that's only the first guy.

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