Hey there, guys. Uh… Right. My name is Lament. Don’t call me doctor. I’m not a doctor. I work for a doctor, sometimes. Anyhow, they asked me to come and talk to you guys for a little bit today. Normally, someone else does this, so… just bear with me, I guess. Right? Right. So… Listen. I’m going to do my level best to get this across to you in the nicest way that I can.
A lot of you are going to die. And it’s going to be your own fault. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. And there’s a really good reason for it, too. I hear it in the lunchroom every day.
‘Have you seen 682? Man, that thing will annihilate you!’
‘Dude, I saw 173 snap a guy's neck during the last security breach. Scariest thing I’ve ever seen…’
‘You hear about 835? Fuck, man, it’s disturbing…’
You care about the SCPs you guard. You will. It’ll happen, because it's what always happens. You get an odd, possessive quality to yourself, something you can’t easily describe. When you guard 914, it is yours, damn it. There’s pride, there. You'll love your SCP, just don't, you know, love your SCP. Heh… Little… Little joke there… But… uh… but that’s a good thing. You get into arguments about what would be the worst one to break free or who would win in a fight. You care about what you guard. You care about what it can do. On some level, you start to love them. And that’s how we know how precious all this shit—even that fucking mirror who talks to you—how precious it is.
And really… that’s where you fuck up.
See, the problem is this: we don’t really give a damn what an object can do. Essentially, at the root of it all… We don’t. We like to know, though. Hell, we have to know. But that’s not as important.
Containing it is what’s important. Doing what we have to do to keep people safe. It's why the containment comes first in all the files. It's the most important thing. You guys can still remember your parents, right? Them. We’re keeping them safe. Your grandparents, your old friends… We contain these things to protect them.
See, this is where we always fuck it up. The second they make you forget about everyone… Ahh, well… It’s not important. Just remember. Right now, remember this feeling. Hold on to it.
Because eventually, you’re going to slip.
Eventually, some of these carefully crafted procedures, something that dozens of people died so we could make sure it worked… You’re going to fuck up.
People will die. Maybe even you. Don't let that happen, if you can. Remember the feeling of your parents. The emotions that are tied to all those people out there. You can forget memories, but it's hard to forget the emotions tied to it. You ever hear of Little Albert? Same thing.
Anyhow, sorry to be such a downer. Doctor… Rights? Is that right? Doctor Rights is going to make sure you’re all good and healthy, give you some drinks. Don't bite the pill, just swallow it.
And remember, alright? Especially for the next little bit? Try?
I… Uh… Yeah. Sorry, Doctor. Your show now. I'll see you guys around the water cooler, right?