The director of the Records and Information Security Administration looked at the next report on her desk. A confused frown played across her face. She reached for the intercom. "Nala, could you send a file up for me?"
"Whenever you're ready, ma'am," the secretary replied.
"SCP-…048? Yes, 048. I need the file as soon as possible."
"Sending it up," Nala replied.
The file appeared in Dr. Jones' inbox. She glanced at it briefly (the file being only a few lines long) and looked back at the report on her desk, finding the author's name. She reached for the intercom again. "Could you send this…Agent Valdez up for me? Thanks." She waited five minutes, and a knock came at her door. "Come in, please."
The agent came in. "Have a seat," Dr. Jones said. "I imagine you know why you're here."
"Yes, ma'am, I think I do."
"You're going to have to explain this report, Mr. Valdez," Jones said. "How, exactly, are you attempting to claim that there's been a containment breach with SCP-048? Is this an attempt to be funny? I know how you junior staff like your little pranks."
"No, ma'am, it's very serious. I believe SCP-048 has escaped containment and is currently infesting a new location. I believe the appendices speak for themselves."
"Agent Valdez, I've read the appendices. You know that RAISA is not known for the same degree of…harsh punishment that other departments have developed a reputation for. But if you can't explain this away, I'm afraid your career here is over."
"Please, Dr. Jones, let me explain. The appendices clearly reveal a consistent train of behavior from SCP-1022 consistent with the pattern demonstrated in SCP-048 before its classification as an SCP. If I may be allowed to go through the file?"
"One moment, Agent Valdez. SCP-048 isn't an entity or a creature. It's literally just the number, a number that seems to attract junior researchers trying to make a name for themselves. How can a number escape from itself?"
"Ma'am, I believe the evidence shows that SCP-048 is more than that. I believe it is some kind of actual, literal curse. And when it was contained through retirement of the number, it started looking for a way to escape. Sometime in the recent past, it did so, and it's now inhabiting SCP-1022. May I demonstrate?"
Dr. Jones waved her approval. Agent Valdez flipped through the file, clearing his throat. "Okay, let's look at the evidence. This is one of the most recent entries, titled "Safety Blanket." It's a blanket that paralyzes its victim."
"Right, and eats them."
"No, that's 799. This just freezes the victim. And, um…"
"Renders the victim physically indestructible. And…then teleports itself into a different blanket, somewhere across the world. But only if you don't feed it D-class personnel."
Dr. Jones stared across the table. "You're…you're serious?"
Agent Valdez nodded.
"What was the actual object?"
"It was a bunch of blankets found on some homeless people. The researcher didn't want to touch them, so he said they were 'indestructible' and were responsible for their 'frozen' state. Apparently, his supervisor had told him that he needed to catalog an SCP or face demotion, so he went out and 'contained' some 'specimens'."
"Okay, you have my attention. Go on."
"Exhibit two. SCP-01022."
"Why the extra zero?"
"I think it's the curse. Either way, the entity is, and I'm quoting here, 'a young male in his early teens. SCP-01022 hair is a dark brown, whilst his eyes are a greyish-blue shade, and he's of average height and build. His only discerning physical feature are the large circular scars on his abdomen.' The kid supposedly had a bunch of Australian animal DNA in his bloodstream. We found him in a coma, and we were supposedly 'containing' him on a cot."
"Wait, but what was his real problem?"
Agent Valdez looked at his boss. "He was a kid in a coma. That was it. The researcher didn't even fake the blood tests, he just made up a story about how he had animal blood in his veins. He even added a note at the bottom about how the kid should be in a hospital instead of contained."
"What was that supposed to gain him?"
"I have no idea. Points for humility? Either way, the kid was put in a hospital, and the number was left vacant."
Dr. Jones nodded. "What else do you have?"
"The Door to Forever."
Dr. Jones stared ahead, her mouth agape.
"I'm serious," Valdez said. "It's called 'The Door to Forever'."
Dr. Jones lay her face into her palms. Through her hands, she said "Okay, go on."
"I'm just going to read a passage here. 'When attached to a door frame, SCP-1022 can be used as a portal to wherever you want to go. For example, if you wanted to go to Paris France, you would open the door via the door knob, and step through the door fame with the location (e.g. France) in mind.'"
Dr. Jones rested her head against her desk.
"'When you step through the door frame completely, the door will close itself and a flash of white light will be seen from behind it. Once the flash has gone back to normal, the subject inside SCP-1022 will be transported to the desired destination.'"
Dr. Jones began gently banging her head against her desk. Looking up at the agent in front of her, she said, "There…there can't be anything else to this, can there?"
"Um, for some reason, the Door to Forever could also take the money in your pockets and fuse it into weird Monopoly money somehow."
Ms. Nala was sitting at her desk when the intercom switched on. "Hello! Is anyone there?"
Bemused, Nala pushed the "talk" button. "Yes? Can I help you? Who is this?"
"It's…it's Agent Valdez, ma'am," the voice said. "I think Dr. Jones had a stroke. Please, send in emergency care!"
RAISA Directive #201209:
Investigation is to take place as to the possibility that SCP-048's current containment is inadequate for the entity's present nature. Convincing evidence has been presented to RAISA Command suggesting that SCP-1022 may be infected with either the being responsible for SCP-048's present condition or (an even more daunting prospect) a duplicate iteration of the same phenomenon.
The possibility that further containment slots may be contaminated and rendered unusable in a similar manner as SCP-048 is frightening in and of itself. However, this entity may also lead to a distracting and dangerous misuse of resources for the containment of nonexistent phenomena.
There is hope, however. Further research has demonstrated a similar tendency was present in items designated SCP-1031 prior to the containment of the item currently occupying that containment slot. In particular, one item categorized as SCP-1031 was an unnamed goblet allegedly capable of transmuting any fluid into hazardous substances; this was revealed to be a common plastic Solo cup painted to appear to be made of steel, and possessed no unusual qualities whatsoever. Suspicion has been cast on the entity known as "The Alchemist," an unknown being believed responsible for convincing researchers that various drinking containers possess anomalous properties and should be contained, even to the extent of leading a quest to recover them.
—Maria Jones, Director, Records and Information Security Administration