Dr. K. Stuff's Personnel File
rating: +40+x


You made it to my author page! I, DarkStuffDarkStuff, have created three successful articles at some point. By the time you are reading this, I might have made more. This author page is probably gonna be very bare for a while, and you're gonna have to just wait for me to put more effort into it. Yay!

Get It? DarkStuff? Dr. K. Stuff? Ha Ha I'm So Funny Ha Ha

Where getting a sandbox felt like an accomplishment, getting an author's page feels far, far greater. It feels honorific. I have accomplished something, it says to me. I am slowly becoming a more involved member of this community. Where I might not be the quickest of writers, when I write I put my heart and soul into it. And this has earned me an author's page. It feels so damn good.

I am much more of a brainstormer than I am a writer though, and thus I have ideas far faster than I have works of art to showcase them. I mean, having been a member since 2012, I have made only three articles. To be fair, I had only tried at the very beginning of that and had only started to get back into the swing of things maybe… late last year? Sorry, thinking in terms of school years. Early last year (2016 for those reading from the future!). Writing out something I am comfortable with uploading takes a long time. Why is this?

Well, flow. Mostly flow. When I write, it is stream of consciousness. If I have to stop and think about what I am going to write in the middle of a roll, it halts all progress. I need my flow. Thus, first drafts are (since I don't want to stop writing when I start) very much what I call "barfing out an idea". Barfing is when you just need to get this down and you don't have time to stop and think about the small things, like clinical tone for example. Flow is very much required when I am writing. This also makes going back and revising it very tedious for me, there is no constant flow when finding small thinks to revise. Thus, I have massive author blindness. I will start reading it and my brain goes back to flow mode, where I lose all critical thinking.

This is why critiquing is important to me. I don't think a cold post of mine could ever, ever work. Not with all the experience in the world. That's just not how my brain works. My pieces go through a lot of critiquing before they get posted, always in excess of a month. That combined with the fact that I have a life outside of this site (not saying other people don't) makes it take forever for me to crank out a work of mine. You would think this would mean that when they do get posted they're phenomenal, but that's not the case, mostly because in the grand scheme of things I am a fairly inexperienced writer.

Writing tales is, admittedly, easier for me. At the time of writing, I have not written a tale, but stream of consciousness works far better for those. Doesn't mean they don't need revising, but I like how the flow goes. If my writing is flowing, probably means the reader is flowing as well. Still fine tuning this, but you know, practice makes (near) perfect.

Anyways, I will probably have another section in here somewhere where I talk more about myself. I think I am an interesting individual. In fact, everyone is. Every single person on this planet is interesting and unique and worth knowing. However, I know myself the best, so it is easiest for me to write about me. Also, on the off chance that anyone is interested, they can go peek into my personality (if you haven't already gathered some stuff by the way I talk and write).

Enjoy My Author's Page!!
And hopefully my articles too!

I Will One Day Write a Character as Complex as I Know Myself to Be

I hope that doesn't sound… entitled. But I know myself like I know nobody else, and my other goal outside of the writing community is to know someone else to the degree that I know myself. I guess that would have to be a romantic partner, wouldn't it. Hmm.

For serious though, I want to be documented so that people may know me and share feelings with me and be chummy with me and yaddah yaddah yaddah, also I have a fear of being forgotten and having a permanent record of my experiences would be a lot of closure to me, and the best place I could think of putting this where people may read it and converse with me about it is on a respected writing site. You don't have to read if you don't want, and the more I think about it the more selfish and entitled it sounds, it really isn't. I just want to connect with the community and my fellow humans.

Diary / Journal / Blag Type Thing (Rarely Updated)


Misc. Skips

SCP-1549 - [S] - In Absence of a Perfect Medium
[30 Jan 2018 20:58] [+84] [Comments: 14] [Last Comment: 13 Sep 2018 13:17]

Short Commentary
I had an idea called "Wacky HTML" sitting in my sandbox forever, and I just felt like trying to write an SCP again (it had been three months since my last SCP posting). I didn't want to come up with a new SCP concept, 'cause that would take too long and I had motivation that very second! So I wrote a rough draft up, and started to work. The idea was that I would prime an article to be perfect for an exploration log, or an interview log, and not have either of those. Subvert the expectation, and make a good SCP in other ways. In this case, it was literally a plot point that the Foundation didn't do an interview or an exploration log, because the idea was that they didn't care. They just wanted utility. So, I think that the concept was pulled off. How well it was pulled off is up to you, my dear reader~! Also, in the end BillithBillith completely rewrote the containment procedures and description to include some better jargon and feel more clinical, so I couldn't not bless him with the collaborative author title. He also did tons of small edits to the grammar and wording, which all only worked to improve it, so he is a real cool dude. Love that guy.

Lessons Learned
Posting time is important. Also, don't feel bad if your article doesn't get as much attention as another article because you did not stoop to a clickbait title — and for those knowing the article that I am referring to, I am not badmouthing it. It's a good article, and the title fits. But a "woah what" title is… well maybe I should do that, but I would feel bad doing that intentionally. My titles are very deliberate, and they shall not change the creative process behind them. Also, plugging. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, five well spaced plugs will get you nowhere, and one half-assed plug will get you four new upvotes. Don't be discouraged by the plugs that don't work. Plug on, space cowboy.

SCP-2728 - [E] - On the Barcelona Skyline
[23 Jul 2016 05:49] [+132] [Comments: 27] [Last Comment: 22 Apr 2018 04:05]

Short Commentary
This was my first successful skip. Though successful is subjective. First skip that wasn't downvoted to hell. I wanted something short and sweet, where a seemingly predictable anomaly throws the Foundation a curve ball and the Foundation misses.

Lessons Learned
You just have to work hard at it, and there is a method to see if it will succeed. A good draft critiquing method is to post the link to your sandbox and ask everyone to look at it and say if they would upvote. They don't have to give you a full review, just say whether they'd upvote. That works mighty fine.

SCP-2729 - [E] - What is it Good For? (was In My Final Moments)
[12 Oct 2017 04:04] [+82] [Comments: 27] [Last Comment: 26 Apr 2018 17:08]

Short Commentary
I might as well just copy what I posted in the discussion page on this one, gimme a second here… okay here we go. I wanted a silent intangible war that was raging on that barely anybody could see. I didn't know the purpose of this war, and then I decided to make it more like a computer simulation. It honestly wasn't made with a message intended at first, but you know… you start talking about war and it's bound to happen. So through revision it was quite clearly guided in that direction. Peace and love, y'all.

Lessons Learned
Yes, keep your containment procedures short. Don't keep your containment procedures two sentences short. They should have, y'know. Details. That pertain to your skip. Just a thought.

SCP-3018 - [S] - France & the Tale of the Well-Intentioned Understudies
[24 May 2017 16:28] [+84] [Comments: 24] [Last Comment: 10 May 2018 18:22]

Short Commentary
This one was wonky. Had an idea of some woodboring beetles fighting off a forest god, and then it became more beetle focused and less god focused, and then I realised I just liked the beetles more, so I removed the god entirely. I then had to find out what the "gimmick" was, and when I did that I realised the bugs didn't have to be sapient anymore, so I left it debatable. Many, many changes and an impatient author made this get posted a bit prematurely, and it's first impression suffered because of it. I worked in an addendum that gave more story and substance, but it was a bit late. Still proud of it though.

Lessons Learned
Even if it feels like it is taking forever, get some good veteran reviews before posting. I understand, it is hard when #site19 is so bogged down in shiz, but you gotta be patient.

SCP-3379 - [E] - D-11424 & the Arctic Meat Hole of Infinite Wonders
[20 Mar 2018 04:45] [+175] [Comments: 37] [Last Comment: 12 Sep 2018 02:37]

Short Commentary
This was a collab that was technically in development since December, which means that it was "in development" for about four months. But really, we didn't work on it for a while, so it was finished in only about a week. Anyways, it's about a D-Class that explores an (spoiler) interdimensional meat market and is all snarky about it and (more spoilers) lives! So, that's pretty cool. It also made D-11424 get popular enough to get a tag, which is sweet! Also, also also, it means I have two articles tagged "art-exchange", and this is the first time in the Christmas art exchange history that the gifter and giftee have collaborated on the article that went up on the site. Got to work with WerylliumWeryllium, who is one of my earliest friends on the site, so that made me pretty psyched. Just fun all around.

Lessons Learned
Not much to put here. I guess it is worth noting that even though D-11424 was supposed to be fun to read, some people found him very grating, but that's alright. This was written mostly for the fun of it, and not for upvotes… which is really how I should write most of the time anyways. I guess that's the lesson here. Also, collabs are fun. Clearly you can see by looking at my author page that I do a lot of them. There's a reason. They're rad.

SCP-3465 - [T] - Better Safe Than Sorry
[03 Mar 2018 06:32] [+90] [Comments: 21] [Last Comment: 25 Jul 2018 23:18]

Short Commentary
This was fun! I got it done in just one day (a lot shorter than most of my stuff) and it is my second Wilson's Wildlife Solutions article. The idea was this: I wanted to do something interesting with an object class. That became less of the focus as I went through development, but the name is still a pun on the situation. I also really enjoyed writing inter-GoI (including the SCP Foundation as a GoI) relations. It's fun to do! And I also felt like I didn't just tack on Site-64 to this one, I actually used some of the Site-64 established lore (think "scary robot stuff" and the names of the people who worked there). Very fun article to write and that is all I have to say.

Lessons Learned
Now, for lessons? Hmm… Well, I am not sure. Oh I know! Writing stuff in under 24 hours is doable, and fun, but not when I feel like they will be compared to other articles and judged and that I have to do more of them the next day no matter whether I have inspiration or not. God damn it the 72 hour jam contest stressed me out and I barely even participated. Blah. I guess this is my… redemption? No, that will come later… just you guys wait~!

SCP-3466 - [E] - Only Birdbrains Live the American Dream
[10 Feb 2018 17:20] [+159] [Comments: 35] [Last Comment: 06 Nov 2018 23:36]

Short Commentary
This was crazy fun to write. It happened out of a draft swap, an experiment put on by RimpleRimple and VaraxousVaraxous that might turn into a regular thing, in which I got given RimpleRimple's draft where the basis was crows that ran a Burger King. Rimple already had notes asking for a call transcript, and then a log of going into the Burger King and ordering stuff (and some notes on how the crows treated customers). He also had a one off line mentioning Wilson's Wildlife Solutions. Everything past that is yours truly (though there are entire untouched sentences in the description that came from Rimple's draft). It was awesome to work with because I already had a base. The extra motivation let me pump this thing out in less than a week (from Monday to Saturday). Love every part of this. Especially loved writing Wilson's Wildlife… they may appear again in the future…

Lessons Learned
Plugging is your friend. Through incessant, unyielding plugging I believe I have gained upwards of +20 that I would not have at the time of writing. I might be able to get this article to +100 in a week, making it my second article to reach +100 and the quickest one to get there.

SCP-3633 - [E] - I'm Right Behind Me
[13 Mar 2018 19:08] [+117] [Comments: 33] [Last Comment: 14 Oct 2018 05:08]

Short Commentary
This was a collab with Captain KirbyCaptain Kirby, which was heavily inspired by my SCP-3713. In fact, that's kind of what makes this cool. Because it was so heavily inspired, people caught the connection and tried to figure out how they were connected in-universe (without anybody being crotchety about it, or saying "meh, this is bull, it should stand on its own", everyone just took the connection for granted). With some help from ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks and my collab partner for 3713 VaraxousVaraxous, we tweaked it to make it fit more. There was not a canon explanation for their connection at first. Through editing and tweaks, there is now.

Lessons Learned
Don't hint at connections that don't make sense, and then go back over it to make it make sense later. That's just weird. It's a weird process. Also, these two articles need a third member. Trilogy!

SCP-3713 - [K] - All the World's a Stage
[06 Mar 2018 03:22] [+131] [Comments: 27] [Last Comment: 31 Oct 2018 08:55]

Short Commentary
This is my first proper collaboration on a fiction article. The Dr. Wondertainment Hub that I pulled off with taylor_itkintaylor_itkin was definitely a proper collab, but it wasn't for an SCP, and SCP-1549, while a collab with BillithBillith, that was more an honorary collab recognizing how much he contributed in the process than this. No, this was a real true SCP collab. We had an idea and we built it from the ground up with each other — myself and VaraxousVaraxous, that is. Writing this took a couple months (from November to the time of writing, which would be… March. Yes, I had to think about that for a second, don't judge me. Or do. Anyways…). I had the base idea, Vara had a real solid plot idea and a dream that we wanted to integrate (heavy inspiration for the video log), and yeah! Super fun. Also, for anyone interested, there are more secrets here than first meet the eye. Try to find them. Wink.

Lessons Learned
Collaborating all properly like this is pretty fucking rad, and even without getting a huge amount of upvotes I find myself not caring so much because it is just a testament to how fun a collaborative project is. Ignore the "not a huge amount of upvotes" if you are reading from a future where this is real highly rated (I don't go back and edit these sections after I write them). Also, depending on how things turn out, maybe I shall make the easter eggs more easily found next time I make something with easter eggs and secrets. But of course… maybe I just like it that way.

SCP-4006 - [T] - #MassaTruthetts
[11 Jul 2018 08:03] [+182] [Comments: 47] [Last Comment: 16 Oct 2018 11:27]

Short Commentary
This article solidified that I can never leave this site, really. I was trying to take a break. But then the 4000 contest happened, and… while the prompt "history" didn't really strike me, it suddenly reminded me of this stupid in-joke I had with my friends that Massachusetts never existed, and we had to open the eyes of the sheeple by using "#MassaTruthetts" on twitter. We never actually posted on twitter, so don't bother looking it up. Anyways, I discovered how to make it (hopefully) cleverly meta. I'm really, really happy with this article. It brings me joy that it worked. And I also love that it is my currently second highest rated article (at the time of writing) but also has nigh 40 downvotes. That's really neat, honestly. Anyways, that's about it. I tried to make it meta but not in your face meta. Meta but works entirely in universe meta.

Lessons Learned
Meta isn't so bad when you're an experienced writer. This was definitely a better idea and execution than "Anomaly".

SCP-4029 - [K] - Too Many Legs to be Going Nowhere
[13 Oct 2018 22:33] [+61] [Comments: 5] [Last Comment: 19 Oct 2018 22:33]

Short Commentary
This is a collab piece between myself and MaliceAforethoughtMaliceAforethought, who is a buddy I have had for a good while here on the site. Might even see him this coming Spring, as of the time of writing of course! Anyways, basically he invented a fun little group of interest and I liked them. He had an idea for trapped workers that were stuck in cubicles, and we brainstormed with each other from there. It went back and forth between it being his project, and then my project, and then it fell off the radar, and now basically seven months later we finally got together and worked on the project. This article currently crosslinks to all other articles using this group of interest, so it's also like a hub for them. Hopefully we will have projects with this group in the future. Stay tuned!

Lessons Learned
Not many. Well, pacing is important. Sometimes, you gotta make narrative conceits over logical, in-universe stuff.

SCP-4466 - [E] - Why the Long Face?
[02 Nov 2018 17:49] [+76] [Comments: 19] [Last Comment: 10 Nov 2018 21:43]

Short Commentary
I went back to my super surreal horror stuff. Back to stuff like URA-1902, and SCP-2729. That kind of stuff. I loved it. And I think I'm decent at it too. Of the four things I have posted recently, this might be my proudest (perhaps under SCP-4029), but… that's also hard to say, because man I love everything I write. But SCP-4466 is up there. I'm sorta geeking out about it.

Lessons Learned
I'm more than just decent at uncomfortable imagery. Even people who didn't like the "twist" upvoted because of how disturbing the video logs were, and that's great feeling.

Misc. Tales

[23 Oct 2017 23:36] [+58] [Comments: 22] [Last Comment: 27 Nov 2017 01:23]

Short Commentary
Yay! I finally got it to work! This is based off a nightmare I had. Heavily modified to make it have a cohesive story (but is it really all that cohesive even now?), but the essence of the nightmare is still there. Had to trim some great lines that included Peppa Pig because they weren't being well received.

Lessons Learned
The more ambitious your project, the more you should be prepared for revisions and failure. I had to post this three times before it stuck. So keep at it, and hear the people. Of course, if you have to revise it so heavily that it loses the appeal it had to you while you were writing it, then don't post it. Thankfully that didn't happen with this.

The Consequences of a Deep, Dark Disassociation
[01 Nov 2017 13:49] [+39] [Comments: 10] [Last Comment: 06 Jul 2018 23:26]

Short Commentary
This is a continuation of URA-1902, but successfully ties into everything I have written up until this point. Very exciting stuff, but it has the least amount of upvotes of anything I have written… so, odd. Also, this went from concept to posted in one day. And that's crazy.

Lessons Learned
Honestly… none, yet. Well, lesson learned that I can write something in one day and have it be postable. So yay!


[26 Jan 2018 17:56] [+17] [Comments: 5] [Last Comment: 28 Jan 2018 19:23]

Sometimes I Wish This Moment Could Last Forever
[23 Oct 2017 04:18] [+42] [Comments: 15] [Last Comment: 24 Oct 2017 14:48]

Short Commentary
I have a clear explanation for this one, but I might just continue writing tales that explain more about this. Who knows, I don't have a plotline. Just a cool idea, so I should think of a plotline that starts with this tale. We'll see where this goes.

Lessons Learned
Writing Victorian English is fucking hard! I still didn't succeed after this had been sitting in my sandbox for months. So, yeah. Don't try to pull that shit again.

Waiting on the Good Times
[27 Dec 2017 21:59] [+22] [Comments: 8] [Last Comment: 18 Mar 2018 08:17]

Short Commentary
I wrote this for the Secret Santa Art Exchange thing that the lovely who used to be named Gaffney// puts on ever year, and it was a blast to write. It is, as of the time of writing, my longest, gayest, and memiest thing on this site. It is unfortunately so long (10,500 words) that people are intimidated to try and read it. Anyways, it was for KakroomKakroom who gave me the prompt "I'll take anything", which was wildly unhelpful, so I went with their joke prompt of reviving Bob Ross. So I brought Bob Ross back from the dead, and tying in with their "I'll take anything" prompt I made it something I wanted to write anyways: a continuation of my tale Sometimes I Wish This Moment Could Last Forever. It was a blast. A total blast.

Lessons Learned
Honestly none. Was only fun. Oh, well, I guess I did learn one thing: Bob Ross is great. Watched some of his stuff to try and write dialogue correctly (still didn't feel confident so he only got two lines), and he's so calm and nice. Also, Rachael Davidson… I love writing her. She will appear many, many more times in my works. Look out for that. That was a lesson learned for you , so don't you feel special? EDIT: The lesson learned is that long tales will get less attention, so next time I should split them up. Oh, and the ending was shite until SunnyClockworkSunnyClockwork helped me out with it.

Forever Young
[26 Jan 2018 16:51] [+13] [Comments: 2] [Last Comment: 22 Feb 2018 13:36]

Short Commentary
This is the tale that sealed this as being a tale series. Welcome in Ascension! Also known as "Dancing with Rachael", because I like that name too. This tale was an exercise in how bullshit philosophical I could get while still telling a story that people enjoyed reading.

Lessons Learned
Some people just do not like philosophical musings. I… wrote it anyways, so. Whoops?


[10 Dec 2017 07:19] [+63] [Comments: 7] [Last Comment: 13 Sep 2018 18:22]

We Just Make Toys
[10 Dec 2017 07:19] [+65] [Comments: 10] [Last Comment: 08 Nov 2018 23:36]

Short Commentary
So expect all the commentaries on these chapters to be relatively short. However, I can use this space to comment on Vend-a-Friend as a whole for a second. Vend-a-Friend was an idea that I have had for a very, very long time, perhaps since before I wrote my first article, SCP-2728. Before I wrote Vend-a-Friend, I wasn't even a huge Wondertainment fan. The idea was to A) successfully write a tale series (score) and B) make a very dark Wondertainment plot (something I thought didn't exist because I was a fledgling SCP fan). I don't remember exactly what sparked actually writing it. It might have just been me wanting to write tales, and being tired of writing SCPs, and going "so what tale ideas do I have…". Anyways, what I never expected was to become super involved with creating Dr. Wondertainment lore (as I found I didn't particularly enjoy any currently existing headcanons), or create its hub, or be the second most prolific Dr. Wondertainment author on the site right behind Salman CorbetteSalman Corbette (who I plan on surpassing one day), or yaddah yaddah yaddah. Loved writing this shit.

Lessons Learned
Tale series are where it's at.

To Think I've Spent My Whole Life Waiting
[11 Dec 2017 15:13] [+40] [Comments: 10] [Last Comment: 13 Dec 2017 14:58]

Short Commentary
And here I made things start to slowly get dark, and secretly tangentially connected this to URA-1902. See if you can spot the easter egg.

Lessons Learned
Not many lessons learned.

I Don't Get It, I Functioned Before
[13 Dec 2017 08:19] [+38] [Comments: 6] [Last Comment: 13 Dec 2017 20:47]

Short Commentary
The dream sequence here was top notch. Well, I loved writing it at least. Fucking adore this chapter. The name, the dark turn, the everything about it. The ending line! It's so good, it's so so good. Perhaps my favorite of the five main Vend-a-Friend chapters.

Lessons Learned
Taking inspiration from your dreams is a good thing to do.

You Can't Win Them All
[15 Dec 2017 16:07] [+25] [Comments: 4] [Last Comment: 16 Dec 2017 13:20]

Short Commentary
A perspective shift, and my first time ever writing the GOC. I had fun with them. The two operatives here, Baxter and I don't remember the woman's name, are characters that I honestly wouldn't mind coming back to. They're so neat, I just love them to death. The chase scene here was so much fun to write (especially 'cause I thought I didn't like writing action scenes and then I proved myself wrong) and taking a chapter to get outside of Brainy's head and see how other people are viewing his actions was interesting to write.

Lessons Learned
It's easy to make people think you are writing about the SCP Foundation when in fact you are writing the GOC. It was fun to play with that, as it comes more into play in the next chapter.

Be Strange or Be Forgotten
[17 Dec 2017 16:39] [+30] [Comments: 7] [Last Comment: 22 Feb 2018 18:22]

Short Commentary
Good golly that song reference in the title~! This is the only chapter of Vend-a-Friend to have cuss word in it, and where that single cuss word is used I think makes the scene all the more shocking and dramatic. Not gonna spoil the line for the rare chance that someone is reading all this commentary before reading the story. I liked writing Baxter even more here. I made myself tear up writing that part where… well yet again no spoilers, but people probably know what I'm talking about. Baxter felt really human to me. Loved writing him.

Lessons Learned
I should return to writing Baxter. He's cool.

Sometimes the Best Intentions are in Need of Redemption
[25 Jan 2018 06:13] [+23] [Comments: 4] [Last Comment: 25 Jan 2018 23:18]

Short Commentary
Polly Gary Lenny got a chapter and we got to peek closer into the Toy Tinker's workshop! Fun to write. I mean, aren't all of these fun to write? Could have chosen a better title, but ah well. I liked this.

Lessons Learned
Some people felt this was "spoiling" things, even though it's meant to be read after the normal plotline. Interesting. I'll have to make that order more clear when I post things in the future. EDIT: I have done just that.

Life's a Show
[17 Dec 2017 16:39] [+26] [Comments: 4] [Last Comment: 19 Dec 2017 19:40]

Short Commentary
I call this an "imaginary" chapter (it's Chapter i) because I don't fully agree with all of Dread & Circuses' headcanons for things, and I want Wonder World to be able to exist outside of the Dread & Circuses canon. That's why not all of the Vend-a-Friend tales are tagged with the canon, of course. Still, this article gets to highlight my second favorite side character, 3T! Thomas Timothy Thompson, love that guy, loved giving him a bigger spotlight and writing more of Wonder World. For all those wondering, Judy the Tongue is my favorite Vend-a-Friend side character. She covers so many things I like about writing Wonder World in general.

Lessons Learned
Dread & Circuses is cool, but I already knew that.

...And I'm the Star!
[05 Jan 2018 02:29] [+39] [Comments: 4] [Last Comment: 06 Aug 2018 21:58]

Short Commentary
Not much to say here. I love writing Brainy's dialogue because he talks how I talk. In fact, in a strange way, Brainy Brian is definitely the closest I get to a self insert on this site. He rambles in much the same way I do. The main difference is that he's a little psychotic and very childish.

Lessons Learned
Easier to write other people's characters than you think. Manny was fun to write.

Back in Habit
[13 Aug 2018 17:35] [+17] [Comments: 5] [Last Comment: 07 Sep 2018 02:10]

Short Commentary
This chapter is named as such not only because it's Brainy getting back into the habit of taking his pills, but it's me getting back into the habit of writing this series. I liked writing Dr. Tinkles here, not only because I think I gave him a good character but also because I like taking side characters and expanding them. On a similar note, nice introduction to Pepper.

Lessons Learned
A dialogue heavy Brainy tale immediately following a dialogue heavy Brainy tale might not have been the best of choices, but ah well. This has more to it than that.

Pepper's Lament
[19 Aug 2018 18:07] [+23] [Comments: 6] [Last Comment: 20 Aug 2018 23:21]

Short Commentary
Speaking of expanding side characters, this does that even more than Back in Habit does! Pepper became the second main character of Vend-a-Friend after this chapter, and I think she was a very good energy next to Brainy. They worked off of each other very well.

Lessons Learned
I don't think I learned much here, except how to have a good time writing Pepper.

Souls & Somas
[28 Aug 2018 13:56] [+25] [Comments: 2] [Last Comment: 29 Aug 2018 04:42]

Short Commentary
Writing Brainy being theatric is great, setting up Pepper's body is great, thank you DrChandraDrChandra for helping me write your characters.

Lessons Learned
Writing other people's characters is really hard! Writing new outfits for Brainy is really fun.

Deceptive Cadence
[07 Sep 2018 13:45] [+18] [Comments: 2] [Last Comment: 07 Sep 2018 19:35]

Short Commentary
Brainy action scenes are fun. Brainy emotional scenes are fun. Pepper is totally my type of person.

Lessons Learned
Not any, really. Oh wait, no; other people's characters are still really hard to write.

And I Think To Myself...
[09 Jul 2018 03:03] [+25] [Comments: 6] [Last Comment: 20 Sep 2018 13:45]

Short Commentary
Look at that, my second longest article on the site (Waiting on the Good Times takes that cake with over 10,000 words)! This is the largest download of Wondertainment lore in a single article on the site, period. So so much is covered in here. This is basically me putting my headcanon on the site in nigh full and asking, begging people, "look, write this, it's all there!". I can't make people write it, of course, but man, this is so much that it's hardly likely people even need to ask me anything about my headcanon on Wondertainment if they just want to write it. They just have to read this. Which is pretty awesome. Plus, I got to have the main character be my favorite side character of Vend-a-Friend (if I can even reasonably choose), Judy the Tongue! Yay! Love this tale so much. One of my favorite things of mine on the site now.

Lessons Learned
Wonder World is great and I love writing it.

Everything Will Be Okay
[09 Sep 2018 05:17] [+15] [Comments: 2] [Last Comment: 09 Sep 2018 18:54]

Short Commentary
Finally got to use this tale title. Finally got to write more 3T, Pinwheel and Polly Gary Ashley. Finally got to give more character to all three of them, which I feel was very needed, and I also finally got to end a chapter with a very good cliffhanger.

Lessons Learned
I love every single character I have written into Vend-a-Friend.

Holding an Umbrella but the Sun's Still Shining
[13 Sep 2018 20:47] [+19] [Comments: 6] [Last Comment: 06 Nov 2018 08:12]

Short Commentary
Once again, I feel like I get to the end of a project and I run out of steam. Not like, not that I'm not happy with this, not that I don't think this does a good job of ending the series, but the pacing is a little odd and it's not as good as it could be because I was just beginning to run out of steam. I have already made edits to make it be paced better, and I expect to make some more in the future. However, Dr. Neurosis is really fun, and 3T is great, and Pepper is my spirit animal. For a deeper look into this chapter, please go to the discussion page for this article and read my author post.

Lessons Learned
I'm going to use this space for lessons learned from all of Vend-a-Friend. Here goes. Series / books are not as hard to write as people say they are. Outlining your plot before writing it is, however, necessary to make the whole thing flow like it's supposed to. Projects like this are really fulfilling, and fun, and I should do things like this again… perhaps with a real book, intended to be published. That would be crazy awesome. Also, I really like (my version of) Dr. Wondertainment. And I really enjoy having a readership. And I enjoy writing dialogue, characterization, and worldbuilding. Really, I just… really like writing. And I hope people like reading my stuff as much as I like writing it.


Failed Ideas & Lessons Learned

Black Hole Church for a Black Hole Town

Short Commentary
I wanted to make the King Fisher concept, where the church is the king and the town is the kingdom. Got an amazing review from A Random DayA Random Day on this one (not a positive review, but his critique was in depth and gorgeous).

Lessons Learned
Make sure it has a story, and not just interesting effects. Also make sure that there is tension, and give it a good hook at the beginning. Mediocre articles do not survive.

Actually, maybe. I like this idea, I just need to expand upon it. I posted it far before it was ready and then it got downvoted (not to hell, mind you, but it was in the negatives). I might come back to this idea, the King Fisher concept is really quite cool.

I Should Think Not

Short Commentary
An area where, if you said a truth out loud or wrote a truth down, it would only be true for the area and when you exited you were in a world where it wasn't true. One might ask "how do they figure this out?" and I have a test that they designed that is so ingenious I'm still proud of it. But alas, it was not meant to be.

Lessons Learned
Actually was a good idea. So good it had been done before. Make sure you are being original.

No, the reverse causality torus really has this idea on lock.

Anti-Foundation Crystals

Short Commentary
Some guys made out of crystal that acted like computers and their sole purpose was to divulge information by the Foundation. Later, I decided they should go after a couple different GoI's. Even later, I found out it wouldn't work and I wasn't having fun writing it.

Lessons Learned
Don't do X-Man syndrome, it's uninteresting. Also, don't try to write humanoids as your first skip. Thirdly, don't do action. This isn't a rule for all authors, but it is for me. I don't have fun writing action, and I'm not terribly good at it. My skips are probably going to follow a path of being either Safe or Euclid and fairly non lethal with very low stakes because of this. I might attempt action in the future, and I might get good at it, but I also enjoy writing more calmly anyways. Action is for tales where I can be overly descriptive, writing action in a clinical tone is damaging to my psyche.

…The more I think about it, the more I remember why I liked this idea in the first place. It has some cool aspects, mainly the abilities of the crystal people. If I took out the action, I think the mystery of their motivations and some of their tailored abilities would be cool to expand upon. Also, who created them? I dunno, a revisiting might do them good.


Short Commentary
Some anomalous items from the log of anomalous items interacted weirdly with another anomalous item, so they upgraded the whole thing to a real SCP. Trying to find any sort of pattern was futile, because there was no pattern. The SCP starts being weird, makes noise and kinda talks and points out how weirdly futile they are, and adds that they should really accept that sometimes random nonsense happens given that it is an anomalous world.

Lessons Learned
Don't try and reinvent the wheel. I made the log of anomalous items into an SCP. Didn't need to do that, it gets the message across just fine on its own that strange things happen for no reason, that's all I know. Er, sorry, got a bit carried away there. Anyways, yeah. And don't try doing metacommentary before you are a much better writer. Like, seriously. Just don't.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I really don't think so but I also really enjoyed writing this, so… if future me thinks they can tackle this again than sure. But I doubt it. So probably no. Anyways, this thing was supposed to be a collab between me and LugwardLugward, and I very much wanna try that again 'cause he's great and I love him.

The Throats of the Earth Hum & Howl

Short Commentary
Wanted to have some trippy sinkhole imagery. Something you might find on an album cover. This was that. It didn't turn out so well, but I enjoyed writing it and I learned from it so it is a success for me personally. Might rewrite it someday though, with more gusto. Hopefully when this is rewritten, it'll have a story too.

Lessons Learned
Sometimes the direction that you are taking your skip is not the direction it needs to go, and trying to cram too many small details into one article can be overwhelming if not done correctly. So much, in fact, that you have to rewrite it. Yup, this one is in rewrite mode. SCP-2729 is its old slot.


I brainstorm way more than I write. I will put summaries of ideas here, and when I start working on an idea I will put it in my sandbox in far deeper detail. If you like one of these ideas and wanna see it done, like, I dunno, you can… ask me… to write it yourself… I don't remember where I was going with this but I wanted a fatter beginning paragraph because a short one would look bad. Anyways…

Save Your Wishes for the Druids of Gaul
Exploration log of an MTF going into a huge stone(?) protrusion that's popped up in Belgium with an obvious (but angled) door. They enter it to find a long line of hallways and rooms. They can find a translucent green substance around, and a lot of foliage, along with small holes along the walls and floors. They can also see a lot of Celtic and Christian imagery. Suddenly, the whole things starts moving, and the agents see bugs explode out of the holes in the wall. Later, they find some druids. Even later, they get spit out as the "temple" surfaces in Turkey and spits them out. The anomaly has not been found again, but the agents start acting weird… Also, this idea has developed a bit and should be co authored with Fingo7Fingo7. So that's cool!

Funny Animals
I don't even think I should talk about this, just go to my sandbox and find the tab. Very excited about this idea. Transhumanism meets furries meets a very extensive set of exploration(?) logs. Yay~!

Sorry, I'll Be Home Soon, I'm Out Having a Night With the Boys
Mostly just a working title that I love, but it actually does have an idea attached to it. Some kind of reality degradation thing… think, like… well, I was actually going to tie this to SCP-2728, so let me start with that idea. It would be Agent LaFerrier, from the alternate dimension, and his cell phone would pick up calls he got from his boss and from other people, and stuff like that. It would tell the story (sort of) of what happens between LaFerrier getting sucked into the anomaly and go even beyond where 2728 ends (with him saying the sky is black). If I didn't connect it to 2728, it would be some sort of reality degradation event revolving around some other story told through someone's phone calls that gets siphoned through random audio emitting devices throughout the world at random moments. It would be sad, to coincide with the title.

Gamers Against Gamers Against Weed
The set up is that Gamers Against Weed (a relatively small sect of them) is trolling a bunch of servers across multiple games (Call of Duty, League of Legends, other big massively multiplayer games…) using their anomalous abilities. Gaming communities interpret their anomalies as hacks, and they're getting extremely fed up with them. Teaming up, a mass of gamers launches a siege on Gamers Against Weed. It starts over the internet, and then it escalates, and it takes a very long time for them to really, really understand what they're getting themselves into…

Too Old for This Shit
During a depression, the US government is dealing with an economic crash and finds that they are spending too much money on retirement funds (and they don't have the money to do it). Teaming with the SCP Foundation, a subsection of the CIA is devising an anomalous plan to make people doing dangerous jobs die just before they retire. This would probably take place somewhere in the future, and part of the challenge would be writing the whole thing with accurate governmental and economic terms, and hoping to never break clinical tone (no interviews, no logs, no nothing, all told through the cold veneer of scientific language).

Stuff from the Grave
So in Oregon (this would be a Wilson's Wildlife SCP) there is a fungus that smells like vanilla and looks like this but with more different colors. It grows on dead things, and it grows very, very fast. Its spores are released within a day of its first growing, and it is not edible. It is terrorizing a forest, where anything that dies grows these things and anything that eats these things dies so it spreads itself and removes much food from the ecosystem. Wilson's Wildlife Services and MTF Beta-4 ("Castaways") are dispatched to deal with this eco threat, especially so that it doesn't get near any population centers where the spores will most certainly catch on people and be carried far away, which would be very bad (this thing is Keter but Wilson's Wildlife has been employed to help in containment, not claimed it like they would with something Euclid or Keter).

They find the source of the fungus to be a cabin in the woods that is covered in this stuff (the wood is rotting, y'know). They find an in tact computer inside that has emails between the guy who owned the computer (moc.liamg|ttiwhcsroh.llib#moc.liamg|ttiwhcsroh.llib) and some weird person (dni.ffuts|ebotretsim#dni.ffuts|ebotretsim). It's just one email sent by the dude, saying "the product is working great but it got into my fridge and doesn't seem to be impeded by the cold, all my lunch meat is ruined and this vanilla smell has stuck around for days, not to mention that I think my dog ate some of it and he's feeling real sick, what should I do?" and then the guy replies with details on CadaVanisher, and it ends with "Sincerely, Stuff Industries".

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