Name: Prof. Anders Bjornsen, Ph.D., Psy.D., D.S.W, Th.D.
Security Clearance: Level 3
Assignment: Field researcher, specializing in anomalous psychologies and societal abnormalities. Previously assigned to Memetics Department, Theology & Theometrics Department, and Cognitohazard Research Department. Currently assigned to Psychology Department as SCP Analyst.
Profile Summary: Generally respected and well-liked due to his genial and open manner and professionalism in the face of several containment breaches. Several commendations for Bravery in the Face of Overwhelming Stupidity1. Long-term, undisputed, and unchallenged winner in the annual Christmas Ugly Sweater Competition at Site 19.Staff Interviews:
- Intelligence Officer D. Bear
- I've seen him around Site 19 occasionally. Big guy, friendly. Easy to talk to, assuming you can look away from the vest. I still don't know whether or not he even realizes that the Christmas Sweater contest exists, since he wears those god-awful things every day.
- U.I.U. Liaison K. Walsh
- He really helped out with a minor bixby the Feds stumbled across before we did. He managed to distract her and talk her down from turning Nevada into marshmallow fluff. The car she "fluffed" did taste good though. Strawberry-flavored without that nasty artificial flavoring aftertaste.
- Dr. Jack Bright
- Easiest annual review I've done. No breaches, keeps up on his continuing training, doesn't try to analyze me. Now go away.
- KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME! THE SWEATER-VEST! OH GOD, THE SWEATER-VEST! IT BUUUUURNS!!!
Item #: SCP-SWTR
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-SWTR is to remain in the custody of Prof. Anders Bjornsen, who is to wear it daily, so as to mitigate its effects.
Description: SCP-SWTR is a metamorphic sweater capable of spontaneously transforming into the most visually unappealing &/or offensive combination of patterns, colors, and materials for each sapient being observing it. This property appears to be at least partially cognitohazardous, as individuals viewing photographs of SCP-SWTR taken when it was observed by someone else report that it's outstandingly ugly, but do not display the visceral disgust and revulsion as when confronted with it directly.
To date, the only individual known to be resistant to the effects of SCP-SWTR is Prof. Anders Bjornsen, who reports enjoying the designs that SCP-SWTR creates.
Ha ha, very funny. Now please return my sweater-vest with the maroon-glitter-yarn and electric-blue houndstooth pattern. That was a handmade gift from my niece. — Prof. Bjornsen
- SCP-045: Atmospheric Converter (initial report filed by [REDACTED])
- SCP-190: A Prize Toybox (initial report filed by Raaxis)
- SCP-338: A Portable Radio
- SCP-540: Tannenbombs
- SCP-553: Crystalline Butterflies (initial report filed by Paktu)
- SCP-618: Smoky Cigars (initial report filed by AgentSchism, revised by Dr. Ralph Roget)
- SCP-853: Weather Preserves
- SCP-974: Treehouse Predator
- SCP-1045: Candle of Life
- SCP-1129: Hyperarousal Response (initial report filed by MkfShard)
- SCP-1198: Endless Echo
- SCP-1224: Li'l Chemist Kit
- SCP-1225: The Worst Christmas
- SCP-1323: A County Fair
- SCP-1400: Sirens (co-filed w/ Dr. Chelsea Elliott)
- SCP-1475: 100% Brainpower
- SCP-1543: Efrain's Dialtone
- SCP-1687: The Violin
- SCP-1698: You Can't Get There From Here
- SCP-1737: The Referee
- SCP-1772: "Egg" Allergy (with updated information compiled by Hurtz)
- SCP-1828: An Accurate Dollhouse
- SCP-1885: Fissile Molar (initial report filed by AvengR)
- SCP-1979: Relativistic Treadmill
- SCP-2048: The Virtual World
- SCP-2121: Gods' Noose
- SCP-2280: Extra Nightly Cow
- SCP-2347: Maxwell's Phoenix
- SCP-2482: Liquid Itch
- SCP-2583: Dust to Dust
- SCP-2627: Boardwalk Empire
- SCP-2768: Human Potential
- SCP-2837: Ancient Physics
- SCP-2938: Unpredictably Reactive Substance
- SCP-630-J: A Song In Their Hearts (initial report filed by Dr. Agatha Rights)
- SCP-4357-J: Cooperative Demon