- Date: 13/12/2008
I think it's about time we started trying to utilize 040's abilities, or at the very least, allowing her to use them enough to actually learn how to control them. She will not be able to rely on the SCP-148 hairpieces forever. We theorized that as she gets older, her powers will increase exponentially, possibly to the point where her unconscious telepathy cannot be contained.
At the moment, she doesn't seem to have a fully conscious grip on her abilities either, allowing her subconscious to take over when she begins to use them. She says its easier to do that way, but that she doesn't always know what the thing she's working on will become, or sometimes even what she's doing.
I'm going to have her perform a set amount of exercises. We'll start with small things, such as pebbles, odd bits of debris, that sort of thing, and she's going to try and change them into something we agree on, like some sort of crustacean or insect.
Well… That could have gone better.
The beginning of the experiment went badly. 040 was nervous about trying this in front of so many people, and that anxiousness reflected itself in the things that she produced. Most were vicious, often baring fangs, claws and poison sacks at anyone who ventured near, despite 040's best efforts. Most of them we had to terminate simply for safety reasons. She wasn't happy about that.
But she improved towards the end of the session, although she still couldn't firmly nail down the process, often becoming incoherent and unstable while she performed. Still, it's not a worst case scenario. She's performing well for a first try under supervision. Still be a little while before she's able to do anything on the scale I'm hoping. She just needs more practice.
I think 040 is a little more prepared today, but she still seemed a little anxious. Not as much as she did yesterday thankfully, but it's still there. At least she's stopped those little episodic delusions of grandeur. Those were a little disturbing.
We're going to attempt the same as yesterday, although if she improves significantly, we'll move onto the next subject group. But for the moment, we'll simply stick to small things.
Today did go better than yesterday, considerably better than yesterday in fact, but not good enough to progress to the next level of testing. 040 still has trouble with control. Out of the twenty-five times we had her use her abilities, she was only able to give us the results we wanted three times, and it seems that even then, it was more of a fluke than anything else. Still more practice required. We're going to have to break this block between her and her powers. And to do that, we may have to employ slightly more… stressful measures.
She still seems to be getting over the initial anxiety, but now, it's barely noticeable. We're going to try again with the little things, but we're going to have her concentrate on directing it towards her own conscious will, rather than her subconscious. Basically, we're telling her to "remain in control".
Today was the same as yesterday really. She seems to find it difficult to control her powers. All she's really doing is opening the floodgates and directing it at a target. No finesse, no control. She's just turning it on and pointing it. I'll have her set up for a psych evaluation. We need to find the root of this block of hers.
040 seems to be in a good mood today, and is determined to be able to alter things herself, instead of doing it automatically. Same exercises as the last couple days.
There seems to be some slight improvement, but not much, and then again, it could just be a higher rate of chance. She's been scheduled for a psych evaluation, and it should take place within the next few days.
The psych evaluation went through, and the results were sadly predictable. Apparently, she's suffering from psychological repression regarding her abilities. The only reason she's able to access them at all is due to the fact that she would act on her need to use them through her telepathy, and find an acceptable venue in which to use them, but in doing so, would still regret having done it, and so instantly repress the memory. It has developed to the point of being a conditioned response. There's also the large amount of repressed memories she has regarding why she feels this anxiety when using these abilities. Apparently, the only lead we have regarding this is either her former guardians or her parents, both of which are now deceased. So, while we figure out how to break that block, we'll try and remove the stigma of using her powers within limits, by increasing the windows in which she's allowed to use them.
The block is still there, which is pretty much making this route of experimentation and training useless. But still, if we break it off so suddenly after her psych test, being as young and emotionally inexperienced as she is, she might think that the reason we stopped was because there was something wrong with her, leading to loss of self-esteem, loneliness, and in general, more emotional baggage, which in turn, lead to more incidents regarding her and her abilities, more stigma, and more to the detriment of everyone involved. So, the experiments are to continue for the time being, but we're going to have to have more psychological probing, and discover what caused this repression.
Trying to fix the damage to her mind is proving to be difficult. She's unconsciously resisting the treatment, because subconsciously, she doesn't want to be healed. This is hardly a good environment either. We'll have to get that looked at. Continuing with the same exercises.
Same results. We'll have to allow her access to more of the results. It could possibly help ease the stigma. Maybe we could have the restrictions loosened a little, but then again, we don't want to spoil her. She is still a child, and as such is still susceptible to having her mental growth altered.
We're trying to find out about her history to try and investigate what may have lead to this. It's difficult, because all members of the [DATA EXPUNGED]. So, that leaves us with no real leads, since the original population of the area has been mentally purged, and we could find no other traces of [DATA EXPUNGED]. Further research is needed into her background. Same exercises as the past few days.
Same results. This is beginning to get frustrating. We may have to resort to hypnosis to try and get access to the memories that we're looking for.
040 is definitely getting more self-esteem, so at least these experiments are having some sort of positive effect. Her abilities at control though are still lacking, but it's a step in the right direction. Being allowed to keep some more of her creations seems to be helping as well, although we may have to increase her containment area in order to accommodate. Still going to put forward the approval for hypnosis though. Still the same exercises.
Post -Experiment Note:
No changes as of yet, although the fluke rate of more accurate transmogrification is slightly rising. It seems that while she isn't controlling her powers directly, she may be forcing her subconscious to her will, although it could also be the fact that we've been performing the same tests for a few days now and it's coming to what her psyche is expecting to happen. We'll have to change the target organism.
We've gotten approval for hypnosis, and we'll soon be using it in conjunction with the normal experiments. We'll start with that tomorrow though. Also, we've changed the target organism to something reptilian rather than insectoid. We'll see how that fares.
No change, oddly enough. The fluke rate of accurate transmogrification is still steady and slowly rising. Maybe she is getting the hang of this. Nevertheless, we'll continue with the hypnosis and attempts at getting 040 to break her mental block.