Ambrose Special: Fukushima Fire-Tailed Lizard
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Following documentation were confiscated from Location of Interest during the Ambrose Restaurant Bicentennial Anniversary in Backdoor Soho, NY. Newspaper clipping from Three Portlands-based newspaper taken a week after EE-10012. Documentation is preserved for use by MTF Lambda-14 ("One Star Reviewers").

Ambrose Special

Fire-Tailed Lizard

Introduction

As the humble head of a family-run restaurant for over 200 years, it is my duty to serve only the most quality of foodstuffs to my customers. As of today more exotic dishes can be added to the list of exotic cuisine my establishment serves. The Fukishima Fire-Tailed Lizard is fit for feasting and feeding, starting today!

Long thought extinct, now found only within the forbidden reactors of Fukushima Reactor #3, this fiesty firey fiend has RNA instead of DNA! If you're a person who loves science as much as I love cooking, you know makes for a mighty unstable meal! Whether lightly roasted under UV lamps or popped in the microwave, any part of the light spectrum is sure to cook your reptile in a way that will whet your palette! Our chefs spent years mastering the fine art of cooking these beautiful creatures to perfection, because one wrong turn of the knob, and KABOOM. But not to worry, our five-star chefs and I are the utmost paragon of safety.

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Mains
Microwave Marination:
Normally, I and other chefs of my calibre despise the microwave. In this case, I make an exception, as the taste of the brine of the Undead Sea is brought out by the microwaves, coming along with is the meat reddening into a scarlet hue, and a spice only found in the purest of peppers. Lightly garnished with herbs and seasonings.
$9.75
Gamma Glace de Viande*:
You will go nuclear for our in-house fission-frying platter. Gamma rays from our custom-made ovens make the lizard grow and swell, the meat obtaining a savory sweet flavor with a little added zest as thermonuclear payloads deliver sensations right to your tongue. Enhanced by our signature meat glaze, imported all the way from France.
$23.50 *WARNING: slight radiation hazard
X-ray Étouffée:
Enjoy this Cajun-style dish enhanced by yours truly! The bigger the x-ray dose, the more the lizard duplicates! If you are feeling your carnivore side, simply ask the chef to put your dish on the "Chernobyl" setting. Smothered with tomatoes, brown roux, and lain over rice.
$11.00
Infrared Roast:
Become a fire-breathing dragon of legend with this spicy hot meal. The only meal on this list that is cooked with a normal oven, although the food is anything but! It's so easy to make, just ask the waiter for live Fire-Tailed Lizards, ready to be brought home so you can make the dish yourself!*.
$12.00 *Ambrose Restaurants is not liable for any damages caused to property or persons due to negligence by buyer.
Entrées
A Light Omelette:
A Fukishima Fire-Tailed Lizard is so delicate, only those at the pinnacle of cooking (me) could hope to prepare them. Mere exposure to light causes them to glow like the Sun for hours. This even extends to their eggs, so a delightfully prepared soft omelette is the perfect side to complement the main dish. Entertain your friends as you unlock the glowing beauty within, literally! Made with your choice of seasonings.
$3.60
FM French Toast:
Some say that putting the radio on for your flowers makes them grow faster. Well for Fire-Tailed Lizards, they may not grow faster, but it certainly makes them taste better! Tune in to your favorite radio station by eating this pain perdu, made along with Audhumla's milk.
$4.39


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