SCP Foundation

This article has been to hell and back again, bouncing around from infohazards, to pataphysics, to infohazards again, to where we are now. Special thanks to Reverend Fox and Crow-Cat for their invaluable feedback and critique during the creation of this article, and to the Park Rangers at the Canaveral National Seashore for literally pointing me in the right direction.

Photo Credit: Me and my camera :^)

Photo Details: A mature gopher tortoise living in the Canaveral National Seashore area.
(F/5, 1/1250 Sec, ISO-200, 4.6 Apt.)

I hope you all enjoy the read!

Also, huge thanks to the SCP Cafe podcast for reviewing this piece in their Recap: 2019, Week 3 episode! You guys are awesome!

I am irresistibly drawn to recall an incident at the San Diego Zoo on a determinate date. I was viewing a display of tortoises when a gaggle of Bright Young Things (presumably SDZ volunteers) scampered past. One exclaimed, 'I didn't know we had turtles!'

The distinction between turtles and tortoises was explained, to no apparent purpose.

Look, it's 2019. Didn't anyone tell you that you're not supposed to write about self-inserts?

I love it. +1!

Lol turtle infohazard.

+1

I don't think this is nearly intersting enough to merit two versions of the document, considering the banality of the subject, and the documents don't really go anywhere entertaining or amusing. Overall, the amount of content versus what's worth reading has me convinced this would have served better as an entry to the Anomalous Items log.