SCP Foundation

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/athosnetwork-3

I just finished writing the first draft of my third try at writing a SCP article. It is a short-medium length Keter, you can skim through it pretty fast. I'm not entirely sure about my ending and execution, so I'd love some help with that! Feel free to suggest anything that you think would improve the conceptualization.

Okay, took a quick look at this since I got a PM about it. I will say, thank you for writing a short and snappy Keter! I'd like to see more of those on the site. Here are my thoughts:

• MTF Epsilon-33 (''World Travelers'') are tasked > should be "is tasked" since the MTF is one group, singular
• This includes sightings of SCP-XXXX by Foundation personnel and civillians and any and all > lot of "ands" in here. I'd use "as well as" for one of them, and add a comma for flow
• In the event of a SCP-XXXX > an SCP-XXXX
• secure the local of activity > …"locale"? I feel like "local" isn't the right word here
• Oxford commas pls
• to a hole, measuring approximately 2m x 2m across > if you mention that it's circular, you can just give the diameter measurement
• The first sentence should really be two sentences, and you can have the footnoted information in the main body of the piece. Have the first sentence be about the hole shifting. Second sentence about the range of movement/manifestation. Third sentence about the longest duration of time it stayed put.
• conversely, "SCP-XXXX appears to be the only access point to SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 is a large system of caves and tunnels accessible through SCP-XXXX." can be shortened and combined into one sentence
• some of the dialogue feels wooden. You have D-ALPHA going from kind of casual/colloquial phrasing to "There's a huge, meaty mass here. Suspended from the ground. It's pulsating, and it looks very oily. It is at least some 5 meters tall." which sounds almost wooden and robotic (why "pulsating" instead of "throbbing" or "vibrating"?). Maybe try reading the dialogue out loud and seeing if that sounds like something people would say normally?
• Ditto "I'm inside it now. It's a weird feeling. The liquid is pretty dense, heavy. It does burns me a little, it's pretty uncomfortable." Sounds robotic and I have a hard time believing that the person is actually in any sort of distress.

Overall… I'm not sure about what's happening here. I don't understand what the end of the investigation log is meant to imply (who's talking?) or what these holes are meant to be. Some sort of digestion system?

I feel like I'm very close to an upvote, but I don't understand what's going on and that's preventing me from liking this more. What am I missing here?