So, this is my obligatory Nobody headcanon tale, which I hope you'll find interesting. Thanks to KindlyTurtleClem,
YossiLeiner,
KnightAlaska,
pr0m37h3um, and
Countless Skies for critiquing and reading this!
Good tale as usual, but my favorite part is how it jumps straight into "They're dying" instead of vividly describing all the parts of death
Definitely. There are certainly many approaches to writing about death, but for this tale it's less about the death itself and more about what happens as a result of that death (which, for those who meet SCP-4999, is nothing at all), so I didn't want to focus on the actual death too much. Glad you liked it!
Oh man the feels. That hit hard like a punch to the gut. Even the O5 of all people are not able to escape the fear of what death is. The fact that we might die alone one day with no one to remember us as the light slowly fades with no hope of it returning.
+1, Great work Author.
Doctor North was here. Just don't let South know, or East….never tell East.
“Will you remember meeeeee”
But honestly, very nice tale. The beginning was a bit confusing with the whole desert thing but I am assuming that was intentional.
Another think I like is how you included SCP-006 The way you wrote 05-1 is what I would expect, no thinking much about death due to their position and the amount of the security seems like something 05-1 would think.
Finally you actually put 05 designation number rather then just leaving it as 05-█.
I'm glad you liked it. I never got why people blacked out the O5 numbers, but if my tale is any indication, they'll all be forgotten just the same. Also, it appears you didn't upvote the tale. I'm not hunting for upvotes or anything, but if you liked the work then please do upvote it.
My bad I didn’t realize I didn’t upvote it.
I upvoted it now sorry for that
An interesting and well written tale, a good blend of several of my favorite things; Nobody and The Feels™
I personally, however, dislike the idea of Nobody=SCP-4999. It just doesn't really feel right in my opinion, having these two characters (well, Nobody is very expandable for writing) be blended into one single entity. A surprising twist, but not one that sits in my stomach very well. I still find this to be an +A tale however, so it still earns my upvote.
I'm glad you liked it, and I can understand if my interpretation is a bit weird. Personally, the blankness and connection to those forgotten with SCP-4999 made perfect sense with my view of Nobody, but it is a very vague GoI.
Your prose is certainly competent and well-done, but something about the execution of this puts me off- its pacing is a bit too rushed, and you essentially tell rather than show all the emotional beats you want the reader to feel, making it feel too explicit and on-the-nose. I'm afraid it's going to have to be a downvote for me, but there's good stuff in here- it's definitely an interesting concept.
Thank you for the kind words along with the critique. Pacing, it seems, has always been a problem for me, so I'll be sure to work on it, along with the other things you mentioned.
This tale has been translated into Spanish and Chinese! The Spanish translation can be found here and the Chinese translation can be found here. Thanks to Yorick1 for the Spanish translation and
DF-thirteen for the Chinese translation.