SCP Foundation

Note: I correct the given mistake only once. If you do not use the metric system, I will only make a single comment about it, even if it appears again in the rest of the article. If the draft has many language problems, I will only correct the most glaring ones. Unnecessary information will show as the copied text with the redundant information stricken through.

The creatures wear gold clothes including armour-plated chest pieces, and red robes from the waste down made of an unknown material, based on one SCP-XXXX-1 instance recovered on Earth.

Don't say 'the creature' or 'the subject'. Designate it 'SCP-XXXX-2' (or equivalent) or 'it'.

The spacecraft slowed its velocity from light-speed before crash-landing in the desert twenty-seven kilometers south of ██████.

This sentence needs unpacking.

• The article talks about an object reaching light speed very casually. According to the laws of physics, this isn't actually possible. Traveling at the speed of light requires infinite energy if you have a mass above zero, and special relativity would influence the alien to perceive time so slowly that Earth would be millions of years in the future on arrival. Physics experts that read this might groan at the inaccuracy.
• Hitting the atmosphere at light speed (300.000 kilometers per second would create a catastrophically large explosion due to the heat and friction of such a fast object hitting the air particles. Everyone is going to notice that because everyone will now be dead. Compare it with an sizable asteroid impact but with about 200x the force. Leading up to:
• There is no way that anything remotely intact could be found, especially not a fresh corpse and a convenient journal that we can also read for some reason.
• It's not very believable that some alien race can travel across lightyears only to then fuck up the landing and crash. This is obviously the least important plothole.

Yeah…this is going to be rough to pull off, if I'm honest. The science doesn't make any sense, there's no real story to it apart from a note at the end and there's no interesting characters.

Rather than establishing any sort of character or coming up with a narrative device to convey the story that you really want to tell, we get a shoehorned, contrived note conveniently found that explains that the reader should be sad because the author says so. There's no reason at all for me to feel much beyond whatever I'd feel when I see a blurb on the news about a violent crime because there are no characters; just names of characters, essentially. Nothing has been invested in making the people involved in this story real, and therefore I have nothing invested in the story.

You understand that you need a story needs to be told for the SCP to be effective, but that's not what this is. This is an SCP played straight with a run-of-the-mill energy crisis pasted at the end to give the whole thing some semblance of a setting without actually pacing it or making us feel invested.

You understand what needs to be done, but this execution isn't going to cut it.