SCP Foundation

Note: I correct the given mistake only once. If you do not use the metric system, I will only make a single comment about it, even if it appears again in the rest of the article. If the draft has many language problems, I will only correct the most glaring ones. Unnecessary information will show as the copied text with the redundant information stricken through.

Formatting is incorrect. You don't need line breaks after the Containment Procedures and the description.

SCP-XXXX-A is a humanoid female, fixed at the age of 13 **appearing approximately 13 years of age since initial containment.''

SCP-XXXX-A displayed significant substantial capacity

These mean roughly the same. Capacity for what?

and a regeneration feature during a routine medical examination.

''Regeneration feature?''

SCP-XXXX-A delayed outer thermal resistance has been set between 1 and 400,000 °F.

Use Celcius.

When SCP-XXXX-A is in contact with SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX's secondary traits are able to engage. In which varied objects manifest from SCP-XXXX. All manipulations have been termed as SCP-XXXX-A-1, 2, 3, etc.1

This is better mentioned when you mention the actual powers, because mentioning the names before their meaning doesn't tell us anything.

SCP-XXXX's usage of fire appears to develop as idiosyncratic. A two-way outcome of combustion is possible, effecting flames of external sources.(Unless deficits aforementioned in the account is exploited.)

Wait, what? So it's pyrokinetic, but it's also unusual (yeah no wonder, it's fire). Is that just another term for anomalous? Honestly, this whole tone issue is very distracting and makes it hard to understand what you're trying to say. Clinical tone doesn't mean ''talk as convoluted as possible''. That's not meant to be an insult, people will tune this out as noise after a while.

One yo-yo. (Claimed to be a weapon. Chemicals and trace metals analysis revealed that metal of head was comparative to no known metals.

This is a trend I see a lot of lately. Unless these are actual new atoms (which isn't that this SCP is about) just leave that out, it doesn't enhance the narrative.

So, playing mythical figures straight is usually hard enough as it is, so you need a very good story to compensate for that.

So the thing that stands out right now is that you try to characterise the entity, which is good. The problem is that it's a bit on the nose. Professional documentation shouldn't really add emotion to lines like that. We see very little of her personality, which is weird considering we have a lot of information that could be used to convey it. Document-EDRF2 doesn't seem to add anything to it, and with the draft as long as it is, it could be removed without hurting the overall narrative.

Humanoids are actually among the most difficult types of articles to write successfully; if you're really set on writing one, then first take a look at the humanoid writing guide if you haven't yet.

Something that this draft reminded me of is SCP-3165. This is what we mean with backstory and intrigue without explicitly telling us.