Ignoring the most basic flaws in this piece (including but certainly not limited to spelling and grammar issues, over-the-top containment procedures, poor clinical tone, and poor execution of redacted information), I believe this work strongly suffers from a weak concept. It's a piece of metal that kills people when touched. There is nothing exciting or interesting about this concept.
Danger does not make something automatically interesting. There are plenty of things that kill on the site that this piece would need to compete with. The reason those get a pass is because they use their object as more of a tool.
Now, when I say that they use their object as a tool, I mean that there is something more meaningful about those items. Consider an ice scraper, for example. At first observation, it is a small piece of plastic. What makes this different from other pieces of plastic is that it was designed to chip away at ice on surfaces, mostly car windshields. If you use an ice scraper right, you could probably really hurt someone in an interesting way.
Let's apply this to an SCP. SCP-4514 for example. It is, on the very surface, a knife that kills you when you stab someone with it. However, the title of the SCP is The Knife That Kills You. It is the only knife capable of killing people. The thing about 4514 is that it exists in a reality where death comes for no one. It exists because death is one of the most desired things in that reality.
I highly suggest the following links for your consideration:
- Ideas & Brainstorming to rehash your concept and for future concept refinement.
- How To Write An SCP to review the basics.
- This helpful guide for some tips on redacted information.
- This guide right here as a refresher on clinical tone, just in case.
- Grammarly to help in those SPaG errors. It's a free-to-download writing assistant that plugs into your browser. A lot of authors here use it, including me.
- This in-depth guide on some finer points to consider when creating an SCP article. A lot of what I just told you came from this guide specifically, and I find it extremely helpful, especially when it comes to ideation.
