SCP Foundation

constructed out of magma blocks

Would be called "lava blocks" in Minecraft. Ignore that, completely forgot magma blocks were a thing.

The team follows Xephos to a giant cave.

Reading previous posts I'm assuming this is a leftover from a previous version.

Jason: Hello, SCP-4335.

Generally speaking, logs reference speakers by their surnames, not their first names.

Lead Researcher Jason.

Should be Lead Researcher Yeslan.

-Researcher Jens Bergensten

I can't tell if this is just meant to be a jokey reference or if you are actually trying to imply that Jens Bergensten works for the Foundation but either way it just comes across as hamfisted and immersion breaking.

Bigger issues. I could be misremembering here, but I'm fairly sure that in earlier versions of Minecraft single player and multiplayer functioned completely separately internally. ie, single player games weren't operating any kind of server like they do these days. So, even ignoring all the other issues that presents, the idea that, using "admin tools" or not, the MTF would be able to connect to a persons single player game is pretty unbelievable. You rely on these magical admin tools a couple of times and they are pretty hoaky each time.

For example:

A-3: Amnesticize them, and transport them to a world exactly the same in appearance as this one. Use your admin controls.

A-2: Got it.

The 2 players are transported out of the game. Work on SCP-4335's new containment chamber is underway.

None of this stuff here (which is all very hand-wavey-admin magic) makes sense, especially the idea that it could be done with the press of some admin button. The above concept would be better described as making a copy of the server and having their clients updated to connect to that instead of the anomalous one. I'd advise looking up what actually is and isn't possible within the confines of Minecraft admin/debug tools.

Your containment procedures are somehow a combination of overly verbose and not specific enough. It is my suspicion that they are going to read fairly nonsensically to people not familiar with the specific mechanics of Minecraft, without providing enough specific detail for them to understand it, and they are already very long for people in that situation to get through. Further more, why don't they just shut down the server this thing is currently on and trap it that way?

Your final interview log with the thing just reads as a huge exposition dump. It comes out of no where, is your just monster explaining what it is and what it wants in exacting detail for basically no reason, and ultimately comes across as melodramatic and cliché (darkness monster wants to destroy all life). Having that then tie in to the release of endermen as a public thing makes no sense either, as why would they need to in the first place? Did they appear in every single copy of the game currently running? Why have these things that can apparently break containment on this thing added as a regular part of the game?

The note at the end has all the typical problems with notes at the end - more exposition trying to explain this thing - and very little else. It's all a strong example of telling instead of showing, and causes the ending to be very unsatisfying.

The unfortunate reality is that Minecraft already has its fair share of existing ghost stories surrounding it, and makes this comes across as some attempt at writing Herobrine in SCP form. The stakes here feel very low when compared with the fairly overly dramatic tone of the entire article and ultimately it's just not very interesting - an entity that can jump between instances of the game in specific circumstances. We have no evidence it can do anything besides that, so the only *real* risk we know about here is that someone might see something weird in their game and start hallucinating melting keyboards. There's no other evidence it can do anything else.

It's my feeling that for something like this to work well, it would have to be far more involved and interesting than a monster that wants to destroy the world being trapped inside a game. As it stands, to me this just reads like an attempt to make a lot of Minecraft references.