Item #: SCP-4406
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-4406 is to be locked in an air tight container constructed of military grade steel (6 m x 6 m x3 m) and lined with a 10 centimetre thick wall of keratin. two (2) meters of vacuum must be maintained at all times from the closest point of any wall with the only exception being a lead faraday cage one (1) meter out from the internal structure, an exhaust tube coming out of the top of the structure made of aluminium, controls for the trap door and an injection tube for feeding the subject. No human contact is to made with SCP as risk of infection. SCP-4406's containment unit is suspended using a magnetic levitation system and only has one electromagnetically locked door towards the top of the containment unit. All exhaust and food injections are to be magnetically locked on both ends to avoid containment breach. The site of which SPC-4406 was discovered is to be kept under lockdown until further notice at the site created site ████. SCP-4406-997 and all excretory reservoirs are to be kept at site ████ unless transport of reservoirs is required.
Description: SCP-4406 is a hive minded parasite that infects though all physical contact excluding hair and nails. The physical form of SCP-4406 is a large spheroid object engulphed in a viscous opaque greenish-brown fluid that will harden into a translucent shell if it feels threatened. All current attempts to damage the shield have failed.
SCP-4406 was discovered in ████████, ███████, ████████ in a dense forested area surrounded by bones of differing native mammals, including some human remains. It can only be transported by [DATA EXPUNGED].
Author, I'll be honest, very little of this is workable. Right from the start, the containment procedures are excessively specific to the point of nonsensical (at the very least, there's no reason for the exact measurements. Generally, the number (#) numeration is used for extreme precision measurements that can be fatal if misinterpreted, like drug prescriptions. Alternatively, it's for legal reasons to avoid ambiguity. You don't need to do that with easy to count whole numbers. And on and on). I recommend reading this guide on containment to get a feel for how to write more logical, resource-conserving procedures.
You have a lot of simple errors like misuse of the term "SCP" (which refers to the containment procedures; "SCP object" is the thing in containment), lack of capitalization at the start of sentences, and typoing "SPC". There's also a lack of organization in the paragraphs and all the sentences feel a little jumbled; some are run-ons. The censoring is sloppy—I recommend reading over this guide on interesting expungment for some tips on when to redact information meaningfully.
Most successful SCP authors have at least some college-level writing experience, since clinical tone is typically covered in college. If you haven’t encountered clinical tone or writing analytical essays in school yet, it can be hard to write an article that possesses the unique "flash fiction as written by a professional scientist" tone the site audience is looking for. If you tell us where you are academically, we can recommend some materials you can study up on, such as these college resources for clinical tone:
http://www.aje.com/en/arc/editing-tip-maintaining-formal-tone-scientific-writing/
http://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/tone
https://healthcare.utah.edu/brand-and-style-guide/writing-guide.php
http://vrici.lojban.org/~cowan/style-revised.html
Conceptually though, this needs some reworking because it's just a pretty generic parasite, and we have a lot of more unusual/unique parasitic entities on the mainsite.
Definitely get the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you make the idea more interesting.
