Shamu's Revenge a.k.a. an Orca SCP
http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/mechadrake
It feels rather sparse as it is, so any advice on how to punch this up a bit or otherwise improve it are welcome.
Shamu's Revenge a.k.a. an Orca SCP
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» Shamu's Revenge a.k.a. an Orca SCP
Summary:
My first SCP, so please don't be afraid to critique the bejeebers out of this. I need the feedback!
45 meters x 25 meters x 10 meters
Does it need to be these measurements exactly?
Foundation personnel are to use caution entering SCP-XXXX’s tank, and must wear thermal-imaging goggles at all times when in or around the subject’s tank. No personnel are allowed inside SCP-XXXX’s tank or within 5 meters of the edge of its tank under any circumstances.
Mmm. This is a pretty old tactic of showing "ohey this thing is dangerous." And the trope is pretty old by now. By this point, really, the Foundation isn't going to be taking the risks that allow the issues to arise in the first place. I'm not saying this is something that simply can't work, it's just… indicative of things.
Foundation marine biologists are to be assigned to SCP-XXXX in attempts to acclimate it to human handling for better study. No human contact with SCP-XXXX is permitted.
Same. I just don't see the Foundation trying to tame this thing.
The effect the thing has is… okay, but it's certainly not enough to carry an article. And when the actual creature is just a violent thing, you don't have much to stand on.
Following the events of ██/██/20██, in which Foundation biologist Dr. ██████ was attacked and [DATA EXPUNGED] while standing at the edge of SCP-XXXX's tank
Okay, so. I don't really buy that they'd just have a biologist hanging out around a skip's tank like this, especially around something already proven to be hostile.
Second, this is not how you expunge. Expunges should be reserved for cognitohazards/infohazards/etc - things literally harmful to the reader. This is just gore, or scare-expunge, or… something.
Right, so. Angry orca whale with weird visual trickery. Not much really going for it. I think the light-bending thing could work if the creature really made use of it, but "hard to see killer thing" ain't gonna cut it.
Thanks for the feedback, Twisted. I'll make corrections to this tomorrow, and think of more ways to make it interesting. I'll probably remove the expunged thing and the struck-out areas too.
I feel like I made a lot of "newbie" mistakes with this despite reading the guides, and that's a bit embarrassing. ^^;
Quite a bit of revision made. Would still like some feedback on the updated version. Got rid of the struck-out areas and expungement.
under any circumstances.
Isn't necessary here because it's already implied.
All personnel are to wear thermal imaging goggles during study of the subject.
Will something terrible happen if you don't?
Any photographs or video footage taken of the subject show it as appearing idential to non-anomalous orcas.
*identical
Also, we can assume (unless stated otherwise) it'll look the same in a photo.
SCP-XXXX appears to have no control over its anomalous ability,
How would you know?
Nixing the SCP for now. Been poking at it off and on and can't seem to get it to go anywhere. Maybe I'm not cut out to write these things…
Hey man, if you gotta put it on the backburner, then do that. Let it sit until you feel like working on it again.
Writing for the site should be a hobby. If it gets to the point where you feel like you have to push yourself to work on something, that's a sign that you should take a break. The fun of writing something should always overcome the fatigue that comes from working on it. If it's not fun anymore, switch to another thing to poke at or just give yourself a writing break.
People on the site go months, sometimes years, on break when writing things. A lot of authors keep idea dumps of things they thought up or wrote partially but don't feel too interested in pursuing at the moment.
Take your time. Don't force inspiration.
Thank you. I'd been getting down on myself because it seems like every idea I have is either lame or has already been done before, but better. Guess I just need to take your advice and give it some time.
This is pretty much everyone. Most everything has been done before, twice.
This leaves almost no room for good ideas.
Maybe you shouldn't look for ideas, but rather let them come, present them in Ideas And Brainstorming, and see where it goes from there.
What I'm saying is instead of wondering 'what would be a good idea for an SCP?' you could let ideas come ad think 'how can this be executed into an SCP?'
Trust me. Just about every idea isn't that good, but you can always scavenge a few that are.
Notice I said 'isn't that good,' no idea is truly bad, but some are harder to execute than others.
/forum/t-1055317/shamu-s-revenge-a-k-a-an-orca-scp#post-
page revision: 3, last edited: 22 Sep 2018 03:57
