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This is my first SCP. It's probably not the best in the world but it's a start. I just hope the story has a little dread effect on it, as I was going for.
You can read the draft here: (Draft has been removed, working on a new draft that will be more suitable for my standards)
Thanks!
Going to read more SCP's and get some insipiration that should maybe help me expand on this SCP.
Hello and welcome! I'm glad you came to the Forums for feedback before coldposting, since it's an effective way of increasing your article's chances of survival on the mainsite. That given, this draft needs a lot of work. Please refer to the collapsible below.
I would like to clarify some things for you before i really go into your idea:
Now, about the article in general: You will probably need to rewrite this to fix the main issues i have addressed up there if you really want this to work. The idea is a little bit flawed and this article is definitely not "solid" as you described it. In the end, this is basically a thing that kills you and has over-the-top properties, like perceiving irradiated heat and body composition. I don't think that there is anything that we can salvage here, but you can rework it if you want.
Good luck!
I appreciate the feedback! Thank you, now I have something to start fresh with, thanks again
Sorry this is so nit-picky.
Containment
SCP-#### is to be kept in a normal Standard Containment Chamber and must be locked at all times.
When personnel must enter SCP-####'s container no fewer than 2 personnel may enter, and the door must be relocked behind them.
At all times, the two personnel must be at least 25 meters (25m) away from SCP-#### at all times.
When the 2 personnel enter the Containment Chamber they will be required to bring ice packs at all times, so hot materials or objects are forbidden in the Chamber.
Description
The origin of SCP-#### is unknown at this moment.
It has a human body which is decaying slowly than flesh usually does.
It has the same exact body structure as a human, it wears a red shirt and normal everyday trousers.
The skin has small minor cuts and bruises.
Covering the whole body is splinters that is also black and is lethal if someone makes contact with the splinters, the splinters can spread onto any surface the black liquid makes contact with.
SCP-#### has broken limbs in area's which requires humans to walk, lift and hold the only area's that is severely broken is the bones in the arms, hands, fingers.
After this, the SCP sounds a lot like a "Clicker" from The Last of Us described like a Pokemon, except it can find you with heat. I think you need to lurk-lurk-lurk and figure out exactly what the site is after.
Sorry if this comes at you as harsh, I don't mean to be, but you need to improve your SCP writing if you want to get anything of yours on the main-site.
I think you need to lurk-lurk-lurk and figure out exactly what the site is after.
Whoooooaaaa man. Hang on a moment. If you're going to tell someone to lurk, then please elaborate on what you mean by "lurk". If they knew what to do, you wouldn't need to tell them.
OP, try reading the high-rated Series II and III articles (SCPs with numbers from 1000 to 2999), because those best represent what the site is looking for nowadays. Furthermore, consider looking over this guide to get an idea of what elements to avoid putting in an SCP article. Get familiar with some of the writing guides in the helpful Guide Hub, and browse around the forums and/or chat to see how other people's drafts get critiqued, and see if you can apply that feedback to your own stuff.
Just lurking's not going to automatically make you a good writer here. You gotta put in the effort to retain the info and apply it.
No, it's not harsh. It's helping me improve and get more into the habit of writing. Can't be immediately good at something. Need to practise and get into the "swing" of things.
As of the Clicker, aspect I was aware this may crossover and unfortunately it did.
Seeing how this "SCP" (I think it's a disaster) has failed in my part, it will be scrapped. I need to re-think my game plan here, and come back with a more hopeful chance. And yes, my grammer is off from time to time as I just keep rushing for some reason :/ It's a habit…. Anyway, I thank you for you're help, it means alot. I will come back with a more "spicy" SCP and instead of going for a Hostile SCP I might go for friendly one. And I will be writing the first draft on paper first. And one more thing, coming up with "new" material is hard nowadays. Think about the famous SCP-173 that gives me the impression of a Weeping Angel, however the SCP is terrifying.
Thanks again
I will come back with a more "spicy" SCP and instead of going for a Hostile SCP I might go for friendly one.
To quote vezaz, "Get away from "type of object" or "sort of creature" and instead start thinking about stories you want to tell. Start looking for moments in your everyday life that give you pause, that are unusual, or that make you go off into a daydream. Then think about bringing the reader to that same moment."
Think of the story before the object. Otherwise, you'll spend too much time thinking about the least important aspects of the draft. We have tons of generic monsters and objects here… what will make yours stand out is what sort of narrative you have for the reader to follow, or what emotions you evoke.
Some aspects people like to add into the SCP to give the reader more to think about include answers to questions like
- did this object ever have a greater significance before it was contained?
- was it ever special to someone?
- how was it initially discovered by the person who first owned it?
- why does it exist? Does it have a purpose?
- what might the intentions of the creator have been?
- how does it interact with others? Is it meant to do so that way?
Also, 173 is kind of dumb by today's standard and is not a good example. It's high-rated because it's oooooolld and most people toss an upvote to pay tribute to the cave painting that eventually led to the Renaissance works yadda yadda. Read the newer stuff. It's good. :)
Zyn, you are probably the best person to ask help/tips for. Thank you for giving me a stronger approach, and will be used for my next little idea. But, it's being adapted as we speak. Still need some time to think about this, and yes I have had strange things happen in my life (Nothing to serious) such as having weird nightmares while I was a kid, and making myself believe something was chasing me in reality and my dreams (Yes, I know that's what I thought when I was younger) But, this will help! Give's you inspiritaion if you think about it. Hopefully, this new one I create will be way better. As of now though, I would like this post removed from public eyes. The draft is meaningless for me now.
Thank you!
Best of luck in your writing endeavors.
As of now though, I would like this post removed from public eyes.
I'm not quite sure what you mean by this. If you're asking for the thread to be deleted, staff only deletes stuff that's explicitly broken the rules. I can, however, lock the thread for you if you don't want any further posts on it.
Yes, please do that. I will then remove the link to the draft. I feel better now, again thanks for the help
