other materials tested thus far have proven non-resistant to this corrosion
Not sure why but this sentence sounds odd. It didn't make sense at first, maybe I'm just tired.
SCP-6428 is an ancient Sumerian tablet of an unknown material, at first sight identical to the Shamash Tablet currently kept in the British Museum, the latter of which
Using 'the latter of which' doesn't make sense to me in this context. I think you'd use that if you had a list of two items, where here you have one item and then a comparison to another. It's not really a list.
Like it's stone counterpart
This is the wrong form of its/it's to use here. It's means "It is" while "its" is possessive.
conclusive results regarding the nature and origin of its material have eluded the SCP to this day
I'm pretty sure the Foundation doesn't refer to itself as "SCP" (correct me if I'm wrong). Even so, that's not how I'd word that sentence.
Dr. [REDACTED]
Instead of redacting something as short as a name, you could come up with one or use blackboxes (█ / Alt+219) to censor it out. I use [REDACTED]/[DATA EXPUNGED] when it's a large amount of information, at least a sentence, while I use blackboxes for one or two words.
non-organic materials will begin degrading from as early as 1 hour after exposure
From one hour to what? You give a bottom limit and no upper limit. It'd work better if the word 'from' was taken out.
but the mysterious nature of it's
In this situation you'd use "its".
extremely great age makes it difficult
to prove wether this is indeed true
There's a strange enter in there. Also, whether is spelled wrong.
Background Information:
Minor thing but I think you could just put this section into the description.
marine by the name of [REDACTED]
colleagues serving with Mr. [CLASSIFIED]
Not sure why you switched from REDACTED to CLASSIFIED. Maybe to differentiate between the two? If so, I'd find a different way to do that. Or, again, come up with arbitrary names.
Mr. [REDACTED] was observed as increasingly paranoid, apathetic, and began mumbling strange words and sentences, incomprehensible to his colleagues.
This sentence is odd to me.. not sure why.
given different accounts of what was read
All of these accounts differ from one another
They are different and they differ. Remove one or the other to get rid of that redundancy.
yet to surface to this day
Again, redundant, "yet to" and "to this day" sort of mean the same thing. I'd remove "to this day".
SCP security
Again, I don't think they refer to the Foundation as "SCP".
has until this day proven to be the most resourceful
'Until this day' makes me think he isn't useful anymore. Did something happen to them?
As described in report [REDACTED]
I see no use in redacting a report ID.
You don't understand, dr.
Dr. would be capitalized.
You DONT UNDERSTAND
Don't forget the apostrophe in "DON'T".
Him. He. Mad. Stars. Behind. Yes. You see. He who is behind the stars. He. Speaks to me. ARGH. In my head. Was here before. Long. Stars. Long ago. He.
I had a hard time reading this. Be sure to read out your dialog and make sure it sounds natural, or that it fits what was going on.
were later found on SCP-6428s chest.
You mean SCP-6428/002. SCP-6428 was the tablet.