SCP Foundation

http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/agentjakeexpunged
It needs some critique
Naturally squirrels aernt my best
so give me feedback

Moving to Drafts and Critiques since there's a substantial draft here.

Keep in mind that I have not yet published a page on this site yet so I clearly don't know everything. I do, however, know quite a bit about English and technical writing. Just take all my criticism with a grain of salt.

The basic idea isn't bad. I acutally thought it was pretty cool, if a bit cliche. It needs a lot of work though. Two of my big issues with the concept are:

1) Why is the containment team armed with flamethrowers if the squirrel is resistant to flames and high temperatures? Seems like a seriously flawed plan to contain something.
2) Seems a bit tame to be classified as Keter. It seems to me that if we just lock this thing up, it probably won't get out unless someone screws up pretty bad. It also doesn't seem like it would be that big of a problem if it did get out, as far as containment breaches in this place go. Considering there was already a pretty massive containment breach of this thing (7000+ copies) which was contained with relative ease, a downgrade to Euclid would probably be a good idea.

… and why do the copies not just kill each other if they are hostile to all life? I guess that’s 3.

The biggest issue with this draft is the tone. There were some formatting, and grammatical errors, but the tone is what really suffered. I think the best course at the moment is to rewrite the whole thing, using much MUCH more concise language. For instance, your Special Containment Procedures reads:

SCP-xxxx is to be contained within a steel box 60cm cubed, with only five 1cm in diamater holes in the top for respiration and food placement for SCP-xxxx. The aforementioned 60cm cubed box is to be kept on a concrete cylinder 1m high with a diameter of 30 cm in a 2m by 2m concrete cell only accessible by an iron 20cm thick door that opens inward and can only be opened from the outside, requiring at least a two person team to observe SCP-xxxx, one always stationed outside to open the door. In case of a breach of security or escape of SCP-xxxx from its steel box into the concrete room, the iron door is to be locked, the hallway connected to the room is to be closed off, and all staff are required to exit the facility until a containment team is brought to restore SCP-xxxx to its original form. All staff within the 2m cubed room are to be presumed a casualty until proven otherwise. The containment team must be outfitted with a body covering of Kevlar armor at least 10 cm thick with bullet proof glass 9cm thick for the faceplate. Containment team is to be armed with flamethrowers and a new 60cm cubed steel cage for containment of SCP-xxxx.

This is extremely wordy and, frankly, confusing. A revision for conciseness could read:

SCP-XXXX is to be contained within a 60cm^^3 steel box, with five (5) holes measuring 1cm in diameter drilled in the top for respiration and feeding. This box shall be placed on a one (1) meter high concrete pedestal in a 2m x 2m x 2m concrete cell. Access to the cell is to be limited to a single 20cm thick iron door, opening inward, which can only be opened from the outside. One heavily armed guard is to be stationed outside the door at all times to allow feeding and observation staff to enter and exit the containment cell. In the event that SCP-XXXX escapes from its steel enclosure, the iron door is to be immediately sealed shut, the facility is to be evacuated, and a containment team is to be brought in, armed with flamethrowers and full body armor.

Hopefully you see my point. If you’ll forgive my blunt opinion, this sounds like a high school paper written in the hour before it was due. I think you may have a salvageable idea, but you need to take time to rethink through a few things, and certainly rewrite it. Don't be discouraged! Keep working.