Thanks for checking this article it means a lot to me!! I have already had critique on this forum for the same SCP, but now I think the most of the fault points are gone. Please tell me how you liked it!! http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/minuz
PLEASE JUST ONE LAST CRITIQUE!!!
Eh, I haven't done a line-by-line in a while, but I feel this warrants one.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
It should be Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid/Keter
It should be one of the two.
The door into SCP-XXXX's chamber must be made out of this same material.
If this requirement is for the cell, I can assume it's also for the door. This information is unnecessary.
No staff with a known overactive imagination are to be permitted in, on, or around the area of SCP-XXXX under any circumstances.
Having an overactive imagination isn't an official condition, and if it's so important why would we let anyone in, on, or around? The "under any circumstances" is implied by the initial order, and the underlining doesn't sound official. Don't bold, underline, capitalize, nothing to make the text look more important. I've seen you do a few variations of these in you draft in the past, I want to make this clear.
this is just used as a precaution, whether or not it is a trigger is still in debate. The staff members to preside over SCP-XXXX are required to have a stoic personality and a past with children.
"stoic personality" is pretty opinionated and I don't see why a past with children would be necessary. Additionally, the way a person interacts with children isn't usually recorded anywhere for official reference.
approximately 11 years of age. SCP-XXXX does not seem to age, sleep, or have any heartbeat of any kind.
If it doesn't age, how do they know how old it is? I also don't think there are different kinds of heartbeats. "of any kind" doesn't need to be there.
Unlike children of it's age, SCP-XXXX has a high IQ of 160.
IQ doesn't fluctuate all that much with age, and measuring the IQ of an anomalous object is usually an inaccurate representation of it's intelligence.
SCP-XXXX is extremely reluctant to getting "examined". He has only been examined once successfully using heavy sedation through Dr. ████████ and his assistants Dr. Briehaus and Dr. ██████.
"he" shouldn't be used to describe your object, and I'm not sure what is meant by "examined" when it's in quotations. I also don't have any interest in the doctors involved.
It has been noted faint signatures of an as of yet unknown radiation.
This is weird. What frequency is this radiation? I'm not sure if this is harmless or not. It's also strange to hear that a radiation is unidentified.
HIGHLY unstable and should be considered a possible threat.
Once again, don't capitalize. The "should be considered a possible threat." doesn't feel needed and it breaks the informative tone.
If a person passes by that has an overactive imagination, SCP-XXXX will "sense" his/her presence and awaken.
I can't get over the fact that an "overactive imagination" is bias and difficult to measure. I'm going to stop this critique here and let you find a term that can be put in a scientific document. This is what you have to focus on. What precisely triggers this effect.
Thank you for all the critique, it's really helping. Although I do have a question. What is the accurate way of measuring an anomalous entity's intelligence? I have researched different scales of intelligence and opinions vary on which one is the most effective. I was hoping you knew or had a better idea. Or maybe I should just leave it out. what do you think?
You should probably leave it out - it has no real bearing on the rest of the article and ultimately feels pointless.
If you do really want to include it, regular intelligence tests aren't going to be able to measure an anomaly's intelligence. I'd recommend making one up.