SCP Foundation

http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/legion122

Okay, so I had posted a draft of this on here before, gotten some feedback, and put a revised version on the main site as SCP-2206. Responses were essentially that it was a good concept, but was lacking in its clinical tone and was rough around the edges still. So I've gone back and continued editing. Hopefully this looks a little better. Please keep in mind that I'm still a total noob so I'm not entirely sure how adding files like Incident Reports to articles work (so for now I've just put them at the bottom of the page, but that's subject to change).

Anyway, let me know what you think. Feedback is much appreciated!

I like it. Maybe get rid of the Acquisition Log, as it's redundant because of the incident reports. I don't know why the Foundation wouldn't have performed surgery to find out if it has a stomach or anything. I would guess that they would also take away his bloodied coat and give him a new one. Does it make grunts and noises?

There were a few grammar mistakes, but those are easy to fix: one's an a missing in the first incident log:

which is forum

I really like the second incident log. Some people would say that there's too much stuff blotted out, though.

I guess that's the more important stuff. I have one more thing, though it's a bit more on the opinion side; does the SCP have to draw gory stuff? Maybe have it draw sad stuff, I feel that would give it more personality

This is a massive improvement from the last draft. The toned down gore and expanded backstory and characterization make all the difference in the world.

I'll second the suggestion that the Foundation would probably at least make a token effort to provide it with fresh clothes (if just to see if it would put them on). That said, if wearing the dirty suit doesn't seem to be causing any problems, probably not worth potentially aggravating the SCP. Worth at least addressing in a footnote, though.

I think the artwork it produces is an excellent middle ground- it's disturbing and gory in theme, without making this just a creepy thing that kills people. The suggestion of violence is way more creepy than actual violence.

The logs are pretty good for the most part, but the redaction in the -B one is overkill. I get what you're going for there, but the problem is that that sort of thing was done to death on the site years ago, and its not really adding anything that you can't say in a more interesting way without using that much blacked out text.

Those little nitpicks aside, I could see myself upvoting this.

Did another small update to the page, trying to clean up the loose ends and maybe get this thing ready to be posted (?)