SCP Draft: Seemingly Non-Anomalous Youtube Videos
I have a new draft for a new SCP-XXXX. Feedback and criticism are welcome.
Sandbox link, first tab ("Memetic Anime Videos"): http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/pandoranuker
SCP Draft: Seemingly Non-Anomalous Youtube Videos
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» SCP Draft: Seemingly Non-Anomalous Youtube Videos
Summary:
"Seemingly"
As someone who watches MAD/AMV etc. frequently, I am interested in it on the get-on… but let's see what's there to the execution…
one ordinary, cost-efficient netbook
I don't think that "ordinary" and "cost-efficient" need to be explicitly stated. The point is to get a netbook right, no?
has begun, but not completed,
I think you can just say "not completed the instructions given" or something of the like.
terminate the D-class, and submit to subsequent class-C amnestic administration.
Is there a real need to kill off the D-class? And who is the amnestics for, if the D-class is killed off?
the SCP Foundation
The most minor issue: Some readers on the site prefer the term "Foundation", but it's your choice if you wish to retain it.
is incrementing about every half hour.
Why not "increasing"?
I and the few other researchers
Usually, in English, you would start with other people followed by yourself (i.e. "A few other researchers and I…")
Pros:
- The thing itself is interesting and warrants one to find out more about it.
- I sense I will be making weird fanfic for this
Cons:
- Will the Foundation honestly conjure swine flu just to amnesticise the world population? There are many cases (re: Star Signals) whereby worldwide amnestics use is employed and there was no need for a convoluted excuse to justify it then. It feels unnecessary.
- It currently feels incomplete. Will the unknown increase in view count be explained in-article?
Lastly, which GoI corresponds to Attack on Titan? I got my guesses…
Thank you for the feedback, Mr. Wrong.
Changes:
Removed “ordinary, cost-efficient”
Changed the containment procedures. D-class will indicate the procedure is complete and the room is safe to enter by pressing a buzzer, instead of the hard time limit earlier. This gets rid of the termination and amnestics.
Decided not to change “is incrementing about every half hour.”, since incrementing means increasing by one.
Changed to “My fellow researchers and I”.
Overall comments:
I personally dislike the hand-waved “global amnestics” that show up in Foundation articles at times, so I decided to try and explain it in mine. If enough people feel that it’s convoluted or unnecessary, I can handwave it, but I personally feel that it adds some realism/justification. In the specific case of Star Signals, I think they had to amnesticize only on the order of 100s or 1000s of people (compared to 100,000s) and the Foundation also fabricated a food-borne illness to get people to go to hospitals.
I’m not sure if the extra views should be explained or just left as a mystery. I have a bad habit of adding unnecessary addenda, so I’ll probably ask about this.
One thing I was unsure about was whether to add a sample of SCP-XXXX-affected fanfic or not. I decided not to for the current draft, as it’s already quite long and a fanfic might interfere with the clinical/serious tone, but I wonder if people understand the effect well enough without one.
In regards to the global amnestics thing, I think it's best to get more opinion on it. From how I see it, there is a possibility that the implication that a certain recent pandemic being engineered by the Foundation may come off as cheapening the actual disaster. If well-executed, it could be great. Otherwise, it is controversial at best.
As for the fanfic, let me clarify since I was ambiguous about it. I was thinking more along the lines of doing Project Crossover Tales based on the crossovers shown in your article. That is provided your article is posted and if it is well-received. As for your article, the details of the fanfics need not be known (as far as I can tell).
/forum/t-1244720/scp-draft:seemingly-non-anomalous-youtube-videos#post-
page revision: 3, last edited: 22 Sep 2018 03:57
