SCP Foundation

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2316-A is to be contained in a secured footlocker when transporting for relocation or tests as scheduled for SCP-2316-B.

So where is the thing kept when it's not in transport? Also, why a footlocker? Seems like a waste of space, especially when you could just use a carrying case. Footlockers are pretty bulky.

Subject SCP-2316-B

Don't refer to SCP objects as "subject" when you're not describing experimental procedure.

is to be held in a 2 meter long, 1 meter wide wooden crate

Is this really necessary? That's a huge crate, and only 2-dimensional to boot. What if it's 2.01 by 0.99 meters? Will anything terrible happen if the measurements aren't exact? If no, you don't need to specify. Unnecessary information bogs down containment and makes it both boring and nonsensical.

within 5 meters of SCP-2316-A during same movements.

What if there's no movement? Can either object be moved?

Containment boxes may be moved by personnel if needed,

What containment boxes? You've got a footlocker and a crate.

and requires no special procedures for relocation.

Then don't mention that. It's assumed that there's nothing else required, since no one mentions "you do not need to eat an apple before moving. You do not need to brush your teeth." etc. Common sense, and again, containment is supposed to be succinct. Stick to the necessities of keeping the thing locked up.

Minor preventive security methods should be used during tests,

This can be put in an addendum since it's not particularly related to special containment… it's more of an experimental protocol.

similar to SCP subjects classified as safe in interview ( See SCP-2118 as example).

Again, SCP "objects", not subjects. Also, most items aren't classified in interview… how would you interview an inanimate object incapable of speech? Additionally, not all Safe objects are treated the same way, so this bit doesn't make much sense. And random SCP namedrop is random, and seems a little lazy on the author's part, since it can read like "I don't want to describe what I mean, so here look at this thing instead since they wrote it good"

Procedures on restriction and relocation of SCP-2316:

I don't see why this section is needed, especially when there's no information on how to contain this thing when it's not being relocated.

+SCP-2316 is to relocate facilities every 6 months

Worded funny. The SCP isn't actually moving the locations, it itself is the thing being relocated.

to prevent having learning capabilities and friendly nature abused for escape purposes by other SCP subjects (was attempted by SCP-1810, prompting first relocation)

…how did the SCP even get near other SCPs? Also, you keep it in a box, it can't talk to anyone, right?

+SCP-2316 is allowed to move about facility for up to 12 hours daily to eliminate boredom.

Oh… so that's why. Why does the Foundation staff care at all if the thing is bored? Security first. The Foundation isn't a hotel, it's an asylum. The only amenities granted are those that don't compromise security.

+All other hours of the day, SCP-2316 must be either confined in cell with adequate reading material, or undressed and placed back into boxes for relocation of facilities.

This should be first in the procedures, I think.

Why does it automatically get "adequate" reading material? Why isn't that withheld and only given for good behavior? Heck, if the thing can be kept in a box, why isn't it always kept in a box to avoid security breaches?

Description: Objects were found at the ██████ lodge, located at [REDACTED] lake, [REDACTED] Oregon.

Generally people care more about what the thing actually is than where/how it was discovered, so the general description is usually what should be started off with, unless you've got a very, very good narrative reason to do otherwise. Also, redaction usually is for anywhere from a sentence to a couple sentences, so just use blackboxes if you're going to blank out names.

Call to local authorities were made

Wording disagreement. One call, or more than one call?

by the housekeeper on duty at the time, and anomaly

Missing an article. "The" anomaly.

was reported to the Foundation by undercover Agent ████.

Seems a little unnecessary. It's an agent's job to report things, so you can shave off some extra wordage by just saying the call was intercepted and leave it at that.

SCP-2316 is comprised of of two pieces:
SCP-2316-A; Set of clothing consisting of camouflage jacket, hooded black undershirt, black dress pants, black leather gloves, and a red mask.
SCP-2316-B; Genderless mannequin with no remarkable features created with shape and size specific to fit SCP-2316-A

Again, missing articles. "A" set… and "a" genderless…

When pieces are kept separated, SCP-2316 seems to be inactive and unremarkable. However, when dressed with the articles, SCP-2316-B becomes animate and sapient, willing to converse with SCP personnel.

I'm wondering why the designation is 2316 for both pieces. Why not have the mannequin be SCP-2316, and the clothing a sub-designation? Also, the last bit is unusually specific—does it not want to talk to anyone besides Foundation personnel? (and another thing, it's "Foundation" personnel, not "SCP" personnel, because SCPs are anomalous and the things in containment)

Initial interviews were slow,

What does that mean? Slow to what? Show results? Slow to conclude? Slow in that the speakers were very sluggish?

but as time has progressed,

Don't need the "has".

SCP-2316 has increased communication skills significantly.

How? What does this mean? Why is it important to the storyline going here?

SCP-2316 is remarkably friendly,

For proper clinical tone, avoid using subjective words. "Remarkably friendly" can vary widely between people. Just say "amiable" or something like that.

and refers to itself as "Puppet". Every so often, SCP-2316 speaks of the "Master Hand" that created it.

Like the boss from Super Smash Bros? I'd recommend considering a different name… I personally can't quite take this seriously with that name.

When asked of the "Master Hand" and his intention,

How can a hand be male?

SCP-2316 stated that the "Master Hand" simply watches, but will take control if SCP-2316-A or SCP-2316-B is under threat of harm.

"Take control" of what? Watches what? Under threat of what kind of harm? "Harm" is pretty difficult to define, since technically a mannequin and clothing can be very, very lightly damaged in all sorts of ways, most of them not immediately noticeable.

Addendum 2316-A1: Tests to determine resilience conducted on SCP-2316 have all resulted in the subject conducting the test to be attacked (without serious damages),

Attacked by what? Also, the whole "make it mad/threaten it and get ATTACKED" gimmick has been done many, many times. It's not that exciting anymore. Also, subjects don't "conduct" tests, researchers do. The researcher in charge of the experiment tells the subjects what to do.

What is "serious damage" in this scanario?

as well as total shutdown of willingness to interact with Foundation personnel for a span of 24-60 hours.

"Total shutdown of willingness" is a weird phrase. Also, what is doing the shutting down?

Addendum 2316-A2: Testing of SCP-2316-A on other mannequins resulted in minor success.

Even mannequins that don't fit the clothes?

Subjected dolls wearing SCP-2316-A gain minimal motor functions, producing movement similar to a toddler learning to walk.

What if the mannequins are the limbless sort?

Addendum 2316-A3: Tests involving class D personal and SCP-2316-A produced no result.

D-Class personnel. Also, I read "no result" as kind of implying that results were unobtainable for some reason. Try "no anomalous effects" or "no effects". A result is just what happens during the test.