SCP Foundation

The website was created by a group of anartists from AWCY, with the intention of driving the idea "piracy kills the artist" home.

The website, originally causing the bootleggers to die, was morphed into one which causes them to actively get the album for free by all means possible. Once they fail to do so, they will instead be led to kill the major contributing artist.

The Foundation DMCA'ed the website, but a mirror popped up, and slowly began bypassing internet restrictions to increase its exposure, such that by 2024, the website no longer needs to be the direct link to kill the artist - through celebrity murders, it inspires the illegally downloading people to do so, as evidenced by three attempted murders on one particular singer within the span of seven months.

Somewhere down the line, those anartists went rogue, and subsequently AWCY themselves simply disowned the group by exposing their names to the Foundation. A raid on one of the creator's apartment revealed a letter that stated why they decided to make the website at the first place. However, the creators are still eluding capture.

Note: I tend not to read summaries/explanations in your forum post until after I'm done reading the draft at least once, so that I can give you a better idea of how a reader would react to your piece stumbling onto it on the mainsite.

The idea of an anomaly basically presenting as a slowly growing obsession with a piece of music is clever. It's a fairly unique angle on the Internet-based congnitohazard.

However: The way you've mapped this out in the current draft borders on nonsensical. First off: there are a ton of simple logistical holes in the way this works, not least of which is that I can do a Google search for basically all of the specific music you're referencing and find it easily. Perhaps not free, but is the nature of the anomaly really that it makes someone unwilling to spend $10 before they reach suicidal obsession?

And speaking of the suicidal thing: I really don't enjoy the depiction of mental illness, murder, and suicide here. Not just because it feels a little gauche to ascribe real-world murders to this vague anomaly (certainly real-life events and tragedies have been used in SCPs before), but because the depiction doesn't feel true enough to life. Your interview with an affected subject makes their mental illness look like Hannibal Lecter goofiness.

Those are things you can fix just by rethinking the cause-effect of what's going on here. While you do so, you need to be much more careful and precise in your language. Right now you're slipping into overly convoluted sentences and vague grammar all over the place; just as one example of how that affects the imapct of your piece, I had a really hard time even understanding which parts of the SCP were anomalous vs. side effects of the anomaly, so that from point to point I wasn't sure whether I was reading a progression of effect or just a series of events.

I would strongly consider setting this draft aside in its entirety and rewriting with an eye towards a) clarifying the nature of the anomaly such that you can explain it to your reader clearly and crisply, b) rethinking its effects to either be more careful about the use of mental illness or avoid that angle altogether, and c) being consistent about your use of clinical tone and voice. Check out the guide hub and this resource thread on writing tools to help you get a better grip on the technical stuff.

Good luck!

NOTE: First of all, do not consider this 100% comprehensive, i.e. just because I don't flag a sentence as having a typo or grammar issue doesn't mean one isn't present. I choose examples that I hope show you the mechanics of the grammar issues; you'll be able to better understand them when you reread and look for other examples on your own.

Also, I sometimes provide some example/alternate phrasing for things. These aren't meant to be prescriptive; adapt and reshape them to your needs. Concrete examples are just easier to process, I've found.

For such to take effect,

Awkward phrasing and also not necessary; I'd just cut.

all search engines are to filter out all search results from the domains of allealbums.com, music-monta.uk, en.lighten.me, mu.siclistener, musikalben.com.de, and malcolm.xcx.info.az from the first 2000 pages of their search results.

This is weird. If the Foundation can suppress any/all such results to this degree, why not just de-list the anomaly altogether?

Off-site employees are to be aware of

"be aware of" is unnecessarily vague, and "employees" isn't the right phrasing if you're referring to Foundation personnel. "Foundation personnel will monitor any shoplifting, burglary, etc" If you're actually referring to the employees of these physical music stores, how is the Foundation supposed to enforce this?

Whenever an SCP-5096-A instance is found, they are to be detained and be administered with Class-C amnestics.

"They" is vague here. "Personnel who find an instance of SCP-5096-A will be detained and will receive Class-C amnestics."

Employees are also to be reminded to avoid downloading music albums from any third-party or illegal sources to prevent exposure of SCP-5096 themselves.

"exposure of" should be "exposure to". This also seems like a weirdly specific reminder. Most of this conproc in general could be condensed to "SCP-5096 is to be blocked on all search engines. Foundation personnel encounters with SCP-5096-A instances, as well as any non-personnel exposure, should be treated with Class-C amnestics." Build on that a little bit to add in some more of the intrigue/hints about what the thing really is (since the conprocs serve as your first hook into the concept), but you're spending a lot of time not telling me too much.

The site administrators of usenet.nl have been recruited as Class-E personnel, and are informed of the domains responsible for the links. A custom firewall has also been installed to block all access to the website originating from allealbums.com and its mirror sites.

I'd change "and are informed of" to "and have been made aware of". Again: why couldn't such a firewall and/or blacklist be installed more universally?

to attempt reversal of the cognitohazardous effects.

This isn't really necessary.

In the case of Stage Four subjects, the instance is to be terminated if unsuccessful.

Awkwardly phrased. "If amnestics are unsuccessful when administered to a State Four subject, that subject is to be terminated."

Stage five subjects are

Capitalization inconsistency; I'd go with "Stage four"/"Stage five" throughout.

Desvenlafaxine

This is a generic drug name and should be lowercase.

Any murder attempt on artists is to be given a standard cover story

Weirdly phrased. Your grammar's getting really circular a lot, which I think has to do with how you're approaching the clinical tone. Go for much more straightforward, short sentences; clinical is just about clarity and lack of emotion. "Foundation personnel are to monitor and response to any murder attempts on music artists. Perpetrators of such events should be portrayed as mentally ill and otherwise unmotivated. Contrary evidence is to be confiscated."

SCP-5096 is the domain known as allealbums.com, purportedly established in 2012, as a forum for the online sharing of music albums.

Comma use is off here, and you're using imprecise phrasing where it's inappropriate or unnecessary ("known as", "purportedly"). "SCP-5096 is the web domain allealbums.com, established in 2012 as a music sharing forum."

To distinguish between a normal thread and an anomalous thread on the forum, all of the latter consists of

"Anomalous forum threads consist of"

"forum members"

Shouldn't be in quotes; based on the stages and other description, these are all actual forum members and forum posts (even if one/more of them is part of the anomaly).

a link which always redirect

redirects

three posts generally states

state

a cognitohazard resistance of under 10 or above 98 (comprising 22.3 percent of the global population)

This is unnecessarily specific to the point of pushing plausibility.

then rejects the registration process.

Meaning what? They're unable to register, decide not to register, the registration page denies them, or what?

Subjects become increasingly agitated by their inability to look for the material they requested for.

Remove that last "for". Also, they're not unable to "look for" the material — they're unable to find it.

At this stage, subjects would use their search engines and browse up to page 1000 of their search requests at minimum. 70 percent of subjects eventually succeed, most at the cost of malware infiltrating their computers.

How obscure are the albums being requested? This seems like a really extreme scarcity for something like any specific music album.

acquire the master tapes of the album

Musical artists don't generally walk around with master tracks (I would think studios and production companies hold on to those), but setting that aside since obsession is part of the anomaly, the percentages are getting increasingly odd and unbelievable. Unbelievable not meaning the numbers are off, but — how would the Foundation even know for sure when this was happening?

and likely developed obsessive-compulsive disorder as a result of his inability to find her With Love album on the Internet, culminating in a desire to murder her while Grimmie was touring in Orlando.

I am having a hard time understanding what exactly the anomaly has done here. The use of "likely" in particular throws off a lot of what you're trying to set up by muddying whether the Foundation even really knows that the website is the causal factor.

After the revelation, Class-C amnestics were applied on four hundred people, and a cover story that Grimmie was murdered by an infatuated fan of hers.

Four hundred people having what involvement exactly? The Foundation just, what, amnesticized an entire investigation and everyone who was a witness to it? Was this never on a news report, necessitating orders of magnitude more cover-up? Why would they need to amnesticize everyone at all, considering that "obsessive fan kills artist" seems like exactly what actually happened, setting aside whether or not the obsession was caused by a website?

SCP-5096 was classified as Safe on 28/07/2016, with firewalls being used to filter out the site.

Firewalls where, used by whom, how is this not just the entirety of the conprocs?

The Foundation has been tracking Internet flow towards allealbums.com

So the site hasn't been blocked in any useful way? What led to it being designated "Safe" if not?

a mass application of Class-A amnestics was used to expunge all knowledge of the cult

Same question as above — even with a at-all-costs organization like the Foundation, this kind of mind-wipe stretches plausibility, and moreover doesn't really seem necessary, because it's not like obsessive fanbases aren't a thing outside of the anomalous.

SCP-5096 was reclassified as Euclid on 22/06/2018

I think you're misusing the object classes here a bit. So, Safe/Euclid/Keter refers not to the threat level of the item in question, but instead the ease/complexity of containment. Considering the Foundation at no point in this story is able to stop people from visiting the site, there's no reason it wouldn't always have been designated Keter.

a DMCA complaint was filed against SCP-5096, taking down the domain for four months.

the domain resurfaced in the form of a mirror site known as music-monta.uk, redirecting to the original site in all cases.

This doesn't make sense. A redirect still has to resolve to an extant domain, so allealbums would still need to exist for the monta.uk redirect to work. If allealbums still exists or has been remade, there's no need for a redirect in the first place. Also: has the Foundation made any attempt, such as a whois or other trace, to determine the source of domain registration/redirect?

Within a month, the mirror site was also taken down, but proved to only be a temporary solution, as several other mirrors were established within the next two years. The mirror sites also showed firewall-bypassing properties, increasing the likelihood of civilian exposure.

Again, to be clear: a mirror and a redirect are not the same thing. If music-monta.uk is just a mirror/replication of allealbums, you should name it as such. You don't need to give me all the technical nitty-gritty, but what phrasing and explanations you do use need to be clear and accurate if you don't want to confuse or lose me as a raeder.

On 21/12/2020, SCP-5096 was reclassified as Keter.

See note above about object classes.

I became obsessed just as well, at the album, and Charli herself. It was truly an Eureka moment, for I didn't have the idea to do so until then.

The grammar here is off, this person sounds more like a Machaivellian villain than a disturbed/depressed/obsessed individual.

If I can't have it, no one should, either.

It is extremely easy to find 14 with a basic Google search. What is the reason this person has been unable to find it?

(Dr. Reimer showed visible discomfort at Greenway's comment)

That doesn't really make sense to me; this isn't the first interview, right? Also, Reimer's a Foundation researcher; a crazed fan would fall pretty low on the weirdness scale.

Have a good day!

Your depiction of Greenway is not as someone with suicidal ideation or a frustrated obsession, but instead sort of like a Hannibal Lecter-lite with this weird cheery tone. There's nothing to indicate that particular angle is part of the anomaly, so instead I'm left with a depiction of mental illness that feels… distasteful.

[EXPLETIVE]

Censorship isn't really part of the game for Foundation documents. At the same time, the slurs you mention in here… I would not enjoy seeing those written out in a SCP article. I think you need to rethink this aspect of the letter.