Thank you to everyone who reviewed and critiqued this. 213 words total.
Date: 25 Jul 2015 04:04
Number of posts: 28
RSS: New posts
- Interesting usage of the colour red.
- It does have a meta feel, while not being the relatively less interesting sort and blends in with the internal logic of the SCP.
- A deity compelling others to do X, Y and Z is a tad bit old-fashioned for my tastes. And the deity's status is not really touched upon.
Even better - urging, not compelling. Personally, if I heard an unseen voice telling me to steal, murder, and offer up sacrifices to some deity I had never even heard of, my impulse after a while would be to tell it to shut up, not to carry out its instructions. I got the feeling from this that the researchers were having the exact same response.
The brevity really did help this one in my opinion. Do not change that. I also really enjoyed the idea.
While the hallucinating a demon like voice, may seem overdone, I do like how you made it just simply a voice, and not a controlling power. That really helps separate it, though it does keep a small amount of "stereotypical antagonist" feel.
Also, is categorizing 2851 and 2851-1 really needed? It seems the voice is the anomaly, and not really an entity created by the anomaly. (Not sure on that one.)
I'm highly disappoint there was no hidden audio file to start playing while I read the article. Like, if you made one letter orange or something, near the end, that'd be great. As it is, I think there's enough here for an upvote, but it's just crying out for more.
I like the direction you took this. It's not just deterred by the color red, it's actively distracted.
Like, "Give unto thine Lord blood sacrifices and shout unto — Oh, what's that? It's preeeeety……… Anyway, what was I saying?"
"Give unto thine Lord blood sacrifices and shout unto — Oh, what's that? It's preeeeety……… Anyway, what was I saying?"
Basically what I was going for.
This is somewhat on the wrong end of the gimmick-content balance for my tastes. I do appreciate that there is something there besides the format screw, which is not always the case around here.
What's there, however, is not grabbing me. Thematically, this seems to be a take on the association with the color red with angry/destructive/transgressive themes, but then you throw sex into it, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to take away from that. There's not really much to read into the entity other than "red=good" and thus not much to chew on, mentally speaking. That it's not a compulsion doesn't really affect my vote; avoiding actively bad writing isn't the same as good writing.
It's not a bad article. But it's not really moving the needle for me, either.
I like it. Nice and short, and decently original. I'm also a sucker for any SCPs relating to minor or ancient deities.
I expected it to also make you perform the acts it tells you to, simply for no reason but to make the SCP sound more dangerous and serious. I was happy when it didn't. Not every SCP has to make you die or go crazy to be entertaining. +1