Short, simple, effective. It comes in at 163 words. Sadly, I feel like you lost an opportunity here to embellish a bit more. 73 more words of context would have still kept you under the mark for that bonus.
Date: 26 Jul 2015 22:05
Number of posts: 30
RSS: New posts
Agreed. I like it, and I want to upvote it, but it feels like just a little more would help it out a lot. It reminds me of Aelanna's suspending bullet; just enough more context would help it turn from "alright" to "really effective". You still have another 9 hours before major edits are closed off anyway.
Sorry, edited in a missing "a" without realizing it was a contest entry. Went to revert, since I couldn't immediately recall whether minor grammar editing by other people was allowed (I since checked, the contest page doesn't say anything definitive either way), but page was locked by author.
Lock expired, reverted edit in case it skirted the edge of the rules regarding contest entries.
The missing "a" is at the beginning of the description, after the word "is". I only meant to make a minor grammar edit, but decided it was better to err on the site of allowing the author complete control over the page, since the contest is still going on.
This is compelling, but it needs something more. I find myself wondering why, what's the connection between these people. Also, "held in the hand of" is kind of a nonspecific way of putting it; mentioning that it's attached to a mummified hand would be a better way to go.
I've got nothing against short articles, especially considering the contest right now, but right now all I see here is a really, really cool anomalous item list entry. It needs more substance to push it from an interesting but ultimately simple oddity to a true SCP that warrants special documentation.
- There's a faint hint of a story behind these objects, and I like that despite not being really specified here.
- The only complaint I got was that it will take a reader a while to know what is SCP-2158-1 and subsequently figure out what's going on in general.
Verdict: Neutral vote
The author can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this fits the minimalist nature of the contest well.
I… don't feel anything from this. To me, that's kind of worse than outright not liking it; a lot of SCPs on the site make me feel something, whether it's contempt for the gimmick used in it, or enjoyment, or intrigue, or the urge to punch the researchers who logged the SCP in the face for being such genre-blind clods.
It's too short for me to feel anything. Honestly, part of me wonders if this wouldn't be downvoted to crap if it wasn't posted during the short contest. For my part, I don't feel anything for it, and neutrality towards a piece is ultimately a nail in the coffin for me.
Wouldn't they keep the body as close as possible to the gun, in order to minimize damage to the facility?