Date: 01 Sep 2015 02:45
Number of posts: 21
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On the downside, the first image was very cheesy, and the anomaly was very reminiscent of the Sculpture and other related concepts.
On the upside, the story by the end hooked me.
Why not just stick them in a closed room with a microphone embedded in the wall instead of the current complicated containment procedures? Or am I missing something that would prevent this from working?
From the article:
Observation in regards to SCP-2218 is defined as any visual or auditory information processed by any individual or automated surveillance system.
Basically, put them in a room with a microphone, and they "freeze".
Sounds good to me, securely contained.
Possibly one of the most horrifying things I've read here, in recent memory.
I find it a tad superficial to be drawing comparisons to 173 and the like. While their respective phenomena may traverse in shared territory, so to speak, the narratives are completely different. Perhaps a more apt comparison would be towards SCP-2136. This article and that one could almost be described as opposite takes on a particular scenario, but they both stand strong on their own. Great job.
For my part, I'm not comparing the whole package to 173. (I would argue that the anomalous action is more than superficially similar, but that's neither here nor there.). I'm more describing my thought process during reading, which in procedures and early description bordered on a rather tedious deja vu. I enjoyed it altogether, however.
The theme is one that can make a very good and a very chilling article. The isolation of certain American religious sects, their impenetrability to outsiders, and what life is like for people within these communities can make for some very resonant themes in a piece of fiction.
This article doesn't really make use of the huge potential that it's touching on. We get that they're hierarchical and religious, they don't like outsiders, and they're punishing people for talking to the outside world. All of this is from the outside perspective, and while that may be a necessity of the format (though I'm not convinced that it is), it doesn't really touch on what would make this a truly moving article: Bringing that feeling of isolated control and repression to the reader.
I can't help but feel that this represents a missed opportunity. There's something that sounds pretty horrifying here, but the way this is done, I'm being told about the horrifying thing rather than experiencing it as a reader.
I came to say this, but seeing that you had already said it, I just want to note that I agree. There is some seriously great potential in here, but it's all in the experiences of these beings (both the social stuff said above as well as their experience of time and the Foundation's early attempts to communicate in that particular weird-time-context), which is exactly what is left out so far. I would love love love something added to explore that.
Just a coven or whatever of people who are mannequins, I guess. Not much of a punch to it imo. I don't know how you can improve it without shoehorning some corny diary excerpt about the writer pledging their soul to creepy sounding deity. It'd fall flat with anything less than stellar execution, though.
This kinda reminds me of… I'm pretty sure it was people who turned into dolls? Now I'm not sure at all. No, I'm thinking of people who, when photographed, looked like porcelain figures or something along those lines.
But is the idea that the Foundation's presence upset these people's society?