This is my first attempt at finalizing an SCP. (Tab 2: Parasitic Wraith). In essence, it is a physical manifestation of the void, a spirit that grows its own identity then leaves the host, and it feeds on reality through interaction with humans.
For me, there are several problems that present itself. This SCP talks in such a way that I imagine he's voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, Reading the dialog out loud to myself, it reads a bit like corny drama, rather than believable dialog. It just sounds silly that this is an entity from the very depths of the void of time and space, and it speaks all charmingly and fancy?
The multiple abilities this thing has is a little powerful and makes it a bit unwieldy, especially for the fact that this is an SCP that can see what's going on and happening in multiple timelines (maybe even ours), and doesn't even have any direct control or influence over it. A messenger is one thing, but you give a messenger that pops out of a mirror the ability to hypnotize and take control of people?
There's a lot going on, and not much to hold interest with, or even hold it all together. Quite a bit needs to be worked on at least, and you need to figure out how to go about this in a more concise way. As it is, it won't work, primarily because even if someone is interested in the concept or idea, you give them too much to take in and digest in such an amount of space.
Thanks for being open! Allow me to clarify a few things:
• The Entity's tone is intentional. I meant to make it so that its imitating what's most attractive to humans, a suave and persuasive person. However I do agree that the interview log was a melodramatic. It's my first attempt trying to make one.
• I didn't want the article to focus too much on the powers, but I guess I ended up making them too clunky in a sense. Some of them do play an important/significant role to the overall story, but yeah.
• The inhalation ability wasn't meant to come off as silly; personally, I'm terrified by gaping maws and large empty spaces, so i figured it would strike a chord with readers. Can still be fixed, I suppose