I've been trying (and failing) to successfully write an SCP via my old "fun box" idea, which you can read in an older form here. (http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/arnbobo) After a few rounds of edits, I'm pretty tired of the actual cardboard-box-what-makes-pepl-go-CRAZYYY thing. I do like the "mandatory fun" implication, though. As such, my concept for a drastic rewrite would involve a set of VHS tapes, on which are recored corporate team-building exercises, anti-sexual-harassment lectures, and other such stereotypical office seminar fare. These would be written as transcript logs that get stranger and stranger over time. The anomalous affect would be related to the content of the tapes; anti-harassment viewers would lose all libido, morale or teamwork viewers would find joy in boring repetitive tasks or lose empathy, productivity viewers would cease to enjoy anything but their work, etc. Essentially corporate videos that literally turn people into listless office drones. Sound like a good idea?
I like the brutal incomprehensible simplicity of the box, a lot, honestly and would keep it focused there.
I think replacing the double suicide with an incomprehensible workplace disaster might be better. Or maybe it's another "found in an abandoned factory" thing. Either works.
Site 19
Very small nitpick, but typically site names are written with a dash ("Site-19"), other wise your containment procedure looks pretty good to me.
box of corrugated cardboard with a edge length of 15cm
If you only give one edge length you should probably specify that it's a cube.
may requisition Test Logs
Just so you know: "requisitioning" is an order, "requesting" is, well, a request. Either works but you may have meant the latter
Instances constantly express feelings of joy and well-being
SCP-2234-1 instances only report happiness when performing simple, repetitive tasks resembling assembly-line labor. Subjects report feelings of pointlessness and isolation when not performing these tasks.
These two pieces of information contradict each other.
following the [illegible] incident
This seems like an excuse to not come up with an event.
Employees that continue to demonstrate poor morale are to be disciplined and provided with a morale-improvement aid
This part made me laugh (in a good way).
From a technical perspective, I think that this is written pretty well, and I'm not finding any glaring tonal or formatting errors. That being said, this is a pretty standard "thing makes you crazy until you die" article, and the underlying concept doesn't do much for me. (I am a big fan of that note at the end though, my soft spot for "beatings will continue until morale improves" type humor.)
Fixed as per your critique! My next idea, which I can attribute to @sirpudding in a previous draft thread, would be to include some weird video logs showing its effects, like during a corporate picnic or something. Should I remove the double suicide bit too? I'm not sure if it adds much.
I also might just find a box and a sharpie this weekend and make one for an image.
