Brilliant, Bright. this is an excellent twist on the old story. Also, your tasteful implication of peadophilia there was pretty wrenching.
Date: 07 May 2009 23:36
Number of posts: 34
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You're not getting you soul back.
Admin, SCP Wiki
I read this, and now I have this insatiable urge to terminate doctor Julius L. by my own hands. Or maybe throw him in 682's containment cell. Such is the punishment of adulterers.
"Pedophilia" and "adultery" do not mean the same thing. I suggest you look up the latter in a dictionary.
Definitely creepy, but to me it felt like it moved too fast - there wasn't enough time between the first signs that something was off to full-on blatant crazy. I can't help but feel it would be even freakier if you padded it a bit, gave the reader time to stew on the "wait, what did he just say?" bits and let some suspense build up. Then again, I've been accused of writing with excessive degrees of verbosity…
Seriously, though, another awesome freak-fest.
Another minor entry or two before Pedoflute (sorry) kicked in would have helped pacing quite a bit. Still disturbing.
"A close examination of the children proves that their physical attractiveness has increased drastically under the influence of SCP-573."
This is brilliantly written. Upvoted.
That there was the line that really had the most impact. The rest was typical creepypasta scary crap, but that one line just captured the subtle changes and gave you a chilling insight into just how horrible this thing is.
EDIT: Not that it's crap, just that that line stands out that much.
Bland: Do not add extraneous links. If an author has chosen not to link back, that is their choice.
Admin, SCP Wiki
I apologize; I thought the lack of linking back to the originating article was an oversight, not a deliberate choice on your part.