Coca-Cola clock
You shouldn't use brand names in articles.
2.94 meters above the floor
How oddly specific.
given the exception of a containment breach within the site.
While not technically a grammatical error, this is awkward to read.
(See adendum-XXXX-1999-22)
*addendum
Also I did see it, but I'm not sure what it has to do with the procedure of entering the room during a containment breach.
0.2 x 0.42 x 0.2 meter
You don't need to use meters, just as long as it is metric.
SCP-XXXX is to be placed in a 0.2 x 0.42 x 0.2 meter case marked as SCP-XXXX-1 during the event of a containment breach within the facility, however subjects handling SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX must be disposable in some way due to SCP-XXXX's properties.
Run-on sentence. Also, KILL EVERYONE THAT WE POSSIBLY CAN is never a good scientific approach.
has a picture of a lady in a white dress, holding a large fan.
Is the lady holding a fan or is the dress? "Lady" isn't the best word to use.
appears to be dated back
I can't understand what you are trying to say.
back in 1978
Off-tone.
Brought into custody by the foundation after the NYPD noted strange events whilst in SCP-XXXX's presence.
Sentence fragment. Capitalize "foundation".
Upon turning SCP-XXXX on, high frequency sounds can be heard, believed to cause dimentia, insomnia, and seems to have minor signs of short-term and long-term memory loss.
"So what does this do, Researcher Smith?"
"Hell if I know, just write whatever. But make it as vague as possible so nobody can technically say that we don't know what it does."
Subjects usually (7/10 times) end up committing suicide in anyway possible.
A bit off-tone.
If confined in an area with nothing inside, and cushioned walls and placed in a straight jacket, subject will begin using their nails to tear at their wrists, cut out shards of bones, and use them to cut open the straight-jacket, and will begin mutilating themselves [DATA EXPUNGED].
Sentence is a little too long. How can they use their nails if they are restrained in a straight jacket? I'm pretty sure no one would stay conscious long enough to tear their own bones out. They will begin mutilating themselves until asked nicely to stop? How considerate of them.
It is advised not to watch this stage.
Off-tone, unless this is a -J.
If subject is to hold SCP-XXXX, subject will enter
You accidentally a few articles, there.
stage of hysteria
What does this mean?
become extremely aggresive, and hostile.
*aggressive
Why is there a comma there?
If SCP-XXXX is placed within SCP-XXXX-1 then held, SCP-XXXX will emit the same high frequency sound as before stated.
Unintelligible.
Multiple Adendum's are redacted, as ordered by the O5-X
*addenda
There's really no need to redact any of that information. It mostly seems like record-keeping things and valuable information about quarantine length and a containment breach. Why would anyone restrict access to that?
I'm guessing you are a Pepsi person.
As is, the draft has numerous grammatical errors (missing subjects, extra commas, etc.) and is a thing what makes you crazy. More than half of its content serves no purpose other than to exist, which is not a very good reason, in my opinion. For example, why was it on Long Island? Why is it a clock? Why Coca Cola? If you can replace a majority of the content in an article with literally anything else and not change the concept, then it needs more depth. Answer some of these questions to give it a reason for existing other than "just because".