A cautionary tale I wrote based within the Broken Masquerade canon, please let me know what you think!
Everything looks okay to me grammar-wise, though I think you missed an "enter" key between paragraphs ten and eleven. Also, while not technically a grammar or spelling mistake, you use multiple names for the same thing many times, and that can get confusing. For example, you called the Foundation "the SCP Foundation" and "the Foundation" and the country above South Korea "North Korea" and "DPRK".
Other than those minor things, I rather enjoyed this draft, though I would probably no-vote it if it were submitted as-is. It's not too long or too short, but feels like a standard "oh you can't just retire, Mr. Bond" sort of story.
Thanks MrAnakinSpecter! I'm relieved that the biggest complaint so far was the semantics and easy formatting fixes. It's far from perfect, but still needs more work. And I do agree the story structure does sound like something we've all seen before.