Direct physical contact with SCP-2291 is to be considered a Delta-class cognitohazard.
A cognitohazard is something that's dangerous to perceive or know about. If the box affects people who have touched it, that's not really based on perception or knowledge- you could be affected if you bumped into it in the dark without knowing what it was, for instance, or you could perceive the presence of the box by touch but not be affected because you were wearing gloves.
On a related note, if you can handle the box safely by wearing gloves, then the "you must use D-Class to handle it" part of the containment procedures is kind of overkill; compare to the procedures on SCP-2208, which similarly Should Not Be Touched Ever.
That said, I like the object. Things that really grabbed me…
- The corporate drones aren't the usual Stepford Smilers (unsettlingly excited about their work and uninterested in anything else); it's more like they're stereotypical cubicle farm workers with their wires crossed. They feel like human beings when they're at work and are just going through the motions the rest of the time, instead of vice versa.
- The "fun" word replacement. Altering someone's vocabulary but not the ideas behind it, so that the person clearly knows what they want to say but can't express it, is creepy as hell and you've used it to good effect.
- The imagery in the last addendum, and the way it implies something more going on that we really don't understand- not just "where did the box come from?" but also "how did 2291-B get everyone to expose themselves like that?" and "if 2291-B can do that to people on their own, what do they need the box for?".
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