The singular is "phenomenon". Love it, use it, be it.
Date: 28 Jul 2009 15:21
Number of posts: 18
RSS: New posts
Good photos, but the photo placement is screwy on my computer. The first photo loads up top and the article doesn't begin until below it. Is this just me or does this need to be fixed?
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
There are a couple mild tone issues, like the second sentence in the description. Also, the picture format is a little weird, but not to bad. The blackbox on the location is incorrect as well - right now it's only one word.
The worst part about this article IMO is the number of people who disappeared before containment. I find it very hard to believe that the Foundation covered up the disappearance of at least 1,000,000 people so completely.
Other than that, I liked the article. The description of the different stages definitely made this work. +1
I couldn't tell what the first pic was supposed to be, then the second pic appeared and I was like "OH SHIT" as I realized what the first pic was.
But the after action report just sort of fell apart, in my view. The dialogue portions fell flat for drama, and the stupid bird line was stupid. The description almost had vivid imagery, but it didn't go deeply enough
That number might actually not be as high as it looks. First off, the person might have included a comma, i.e. 100,000. In that case, we're looking at a six-figure number, but that's still fairly high. However, the author might have written out the number as a word instead of in digits, though that really only leaves us with fifteen, sixteen and seventy. It could also say "over X" where X is a two-digit number (unlikely for an approximation), or it could be a range between two three-digit numbers, i.e. 500-525 (although I've seen this type of format in other articles, and
That SAID, I might be entirely wrong, and this thing might actually have a casualty rating in the six or seven digits.
Interesting. I really like the way it's written. it says just enough to grab your interest but remains mysterious enough to make you wonder what's going on. Seems a bit odd that according to the pictures, the subjects' clothes are affected as well but I guess that just makes it weirder (and of course, I do realize you have to do with what you can find).
It's also one of the few entries where I think the discussion between personal in the notes actually adds something, even the concept of it is kind of odd (why would personal have such discussions in the reports themselves rather than having them in person?), as something that has an O5 so passionate about it has got to be big.
Only real problem is, as Nine Volt mentioned, even the SCP Foundation wouldn't be able to completely cover up the sudden disappearance of over 1 000 000 people, I don't care how many amnestics they have. If the number ISN'T supposed to be that high then it should be made more explicit.
Still, have an upvote, you've earned it.