How about an SCP of a plaque of Shakespeare that gives directions? Put it up in any building, and it will instantly tell you where to go when queried. The only problem is that its directions are in early modern english verse - typically quadratic hexameter or iambic pentameter. It is sometimes quite cryptic for the sake of preserving the rhyming scheme.
1: As resident Shakespeare fanboy, I disdainfully request that his name be exempt from future fail.
2: If you have to be cryptic to preserve the rhyme scheme of a poem in iambic pentameter, your poetry sucks miserably, and again, I request that you not tag Shakespeare's name on such loss.
3: Just… read this.