Mkay, took a look, comments made as I read, etc.
- "should be kept in a standard containment locker, turned off at all times unless under testing" sounds like the locker needs to be turned off. Why not just take the batteries out of the remote?
- Don't use "you" in containment instructions. It looks unprofessional.
- Don't underline or italicize for emphasis.
- Quote from Dr. Hines is irrelevant to containment procedures and silly. Remove it.
- Who has access to this thing anyway?
- If this thing causes damage to things when used indoors, there's no need for the "should". Be firm in the containment. These are the procedures that keep the thing locked up, and obviously are taken seriously in-universe. Don't undermine your own article with the lack of professionalism so early.
- Don't bold for emphasis, and it's not needed for a list. Put that list in bullet points or write it out; the way it's currently formatted looks weird.
- Wording is a little too casual. "There is also a green dial meant to select a time." doesn't give the reader a clear idea of what this part of the remote looks like. Select a time from what? Are there preset sections, is there a display screen, is it just stickers, what?
- Again, casual language like "but it's different depending on each formation." An SCP article should not sound like someone talking to you.
- How would a cloud be sentient? Would it be able to feel pain from getting flown through by birds or something?
- How can someone transform into a "sunny day"? Or a blizzard? Wouldn't they get blown apart?
- I really don't buy the "sold online" backstory. It seems really contrived, plus the researcher involved seems like a 12-year old, and that's not really going to help maintain suspension of disbelief. People can and will downvote for variants on the "found it at a garage sale" backstory.
- Capitalize Foundation when using it as a name.
- Only use "it's" when you can replace it with "it is".
- SCP in-universe refers to the containment procedures. You want the actual item, you say SCP object.
I dunno. Seemed pretty boring to me. I like the idea of something that can turn people into clouds, but there's just too much wacky "oh look at Foundation staff messing around with this thing!" going on. Why does this thing exist? What was the creator hoping to achieve with it? Why do people enjoy the process of being a slowly-floating apart weather phenomenon?
I feel like there's so much more you can be doing with this.