So, this is my SCP. Please read and say what you think. ;) (In the SCP-7009-J tab)
I've explored this same concept for a -J myself, and I feel that the route you're taking is a bit clichéd. Unless it's done well, "ordinary thing the Foundation overreacts to" tends to be a bit unfunny, since a lot of -Js rely in it. In this case, to make it work you'll really need to go over-the-top, which may be difficult to do.
Anyway, the route I think you should take?Well, the explanation's a bit long
So, I added the rickroll, thank you for the suggestion!
P.S.: I fell for it XD
For the rickroll itself to work, it can't be expected. If it's expected, the whole thing deflates and the joke is ruined. It worked in my last post because this is a feedback forum, and rickrolls generally don't count as good feedback, so you aren't expecting it. It gets a pass in this case because it's a demonstration of how one gets pulled off, rather than taking over the feedback.
Currently, the big problem on your draft is that the circumstances are telegraphing an impending rickroll.
SCP-7009-J is a phenomenon referred to as a "rickroll" taking over the internet. It involves the video for Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up and trolling. Each instance of a "rickroll" is called SCP-7009-J-1.
… in your description, and there's an addenda at the bottom with something in red. It's kinda obvious that you're attrmpting a rickroll, or something similar, and it ruins the joke before the punchline.
While a bit of a faux pas to do this, I want to show you the version I've got up on my sandbox. It's still fairly rough, (myself having switched approaches and not having completely re-wrote it to reflect that), but it should give you an idea as to what I'm trying to say.
The goal is to accurately describe a rickroll, but not actually clue the reader in until they hit the rickroll itself. At that point, they will ideally realize that they should have seen it coming, and get a laugh out of falling for it.