Alright, here's the second draft of my first SCP. I'm looking for feedback on the general article, but I'm specifically curious to hear any criticisms you may have of the journal segment. Pacing is a particular issue here - I'm worried the writer's descent into fear is too fast, too slow, or just uneven. I'm largely satisfied with the rest, but I'd still love to hear what you have to say on it.
Locking this thread since there's already one in existence for the same draft.
Reviewers, please comment here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1746851/my-first-scp-attempt
Authors, please do not create multiple threads for the same draft. Doing so is spammy and unfair to other writers who do not flood the forums with redundant threads. Furthermore, it helps reviewers a lot if feedback is kept in one place for ease of reference.